'You alright over there?'
'Piss off!'
I growled and kept sipping from the bowl (read: Lake) of alcohol prepared for me by the humans, nursing the headache I am getting just thinking about the millennia-long disaster that originated from the misunderstanding and miscommunications of the past.
'No need to be so salty about this situation, brother. After all, it's not like anybody told you that this would happen if you remain away from the little ones for too long.'
'...Not in the mood for your sarcasm, Kyoger.'
'Then, are you in the mood for some roasting? Because I need to get this off my chest. I TOLD YOU THIS WOULD HAPPEN!!'
I winced at the mental roar from Groudon. But I did not refute his point.
Because he is right.
'That being said, mistakes were made on both sides, so I think you should forget about all that and start working together properly.'
'How do I even forget about that? Kyoger? These kids have been maintaining one hell of a global drama for the past millennia in the assumption that I want to remain hidden, while I do not desire anything like that. So many lives lost, so much knowledge erased, so much destruction, all for nothing.'
'It also doesn't help that I feel rather guilty about this whole situation. I keep thinking about how things would have been different if I had answered their attempts at contacting me back then.'
'Brother, as I said. You need to let go of that since there were mistakes on both sides. Now, what is really bothering you?'
'What is bothering me is that I am feeling very, very anxious for these little fools who will become global enemies to literally every single human out there if all their secret activities come to light.'
'Speaking of, I got a question.'
'Shoot.'
Groudon raised his head from the ground he was lying on and gave me an intrigued look.
'They said that they maintained the secrecy of your existence by infiltrating all kinds of scholarly institutes across the world since they were the places that had the greatest chance of discovering your real form. But, how did the people of this tiny landmass even manage to spread that far across the world in the first place? How did they reach the distant continents when most of humanity was still confined to their own landmasses? How did they blend in with people who look completely different from themselves?'
I sighed at those words and coiled tighter around the tower, feeling the hum of its materials as power flowed throughout the city originating from the tower.
It's really a miracle that they managed to replicate this old thing that I created with their ancestors, given that the last time I checked, the library their ancestors built to preserve knowledge was burned down to ash by that foolish king.
'From what I gathered, it would seem that their fertility rate is much higher than that of a regular human due to a combination of factors, including the taint of our combined radiation signature that was infused into this land when it was accidentally created during our last clash. Combined with their longer lifespans, which, again, originate from our radiation, gave them an edge over their fellow men and allowed them to rapidly spread across the world secretly.'
'As for how they managed to spread across the world in the first place, that would be my fault.'
'Huh?'
'Yeah. Remember that Iwi tribe that I saved during that fight against that idiot Ape?'
'Yeah, I remember. Didn't you ask your precious Mothra to escort those neutral Iwi who did not take a side in the fight to the surface world?'
I felt like rebuking him for that comment while the idiot duo sniggered at my glare.
While it is true that I care greatly for Mothra, that does not mean they get to make jokes like that.
Then again, they are my siblings, so it is expected that they would make fun of me one way or another.
With a sigh, I concentrated back on the conversation.
'After Mothra guided them to the surface, I took the time to teach them some stuff which included subjects like how to navigate the sea, use primitive compasses and the stars to navigate, best structural materials and design philosophies to build ships, that kind of stuff.'
'You actually got involved with humans after the Mayans? Why didn't we know of that?"
'.....Kyoger, is your memory that faulty? I killed the idiot Ape more than a thousand years before the Mayans even came into existence.'
'Right, sorry. Events tend to blend together when you spend most of your existence trapped beneath the waves.'
I gave my brother a sympathetic glance at those words, knowing how lonely it was for him down there since we share a perpetual telepathic link.
'Anyways, turns out, these guys came to Hoenn after it was formed and joined the humans here. They taught the others the knowledge I gave them. That is how they were able to spread across the world.'
'As for how they blended in with their infiltration targets? That stumps me as well, and I don't think I want to know the answer to that either. Especially after how eagerly they showed me how their biology was slightly more evolved than their fellow man.'
And wasn't that slightly horrifying?
The enthusiasm with which their scientists showed me their biological information and medical knowledge, even going as far as connecting to me telepathically to show what they feel during their daily lives, including certain bedroom activities.
No matter the world, humanity is always horny. Which is really bad for my mental health since this particular group of humans wants me to share in their horny thoughts.
Dear Arceus, if you exist in this universe, can you take me back in time before I came here? Please? I want a redo!
Or, at least, throw Dialga at me! I'll work something out with that arrogant fellow!
I really, really want a redo.
'Well, I guess it's better late than never, as you say. Since you got them to stop their activities and let nature take its course, things should be fine, right?'
'I wish things were that simple. There are still a whole lot of issues stemming from their actions until now. Especially those two cults of yours.'
That immediately shut up the idiot duo. Groudon immediately lay flat on the ground, as if attempting to convince me that he was asleep, while Kyoger dipped into the ocean, out of my sight.
From what I gathered, the organization called Monarch had a schism within it after there was some kind of clash of ideologies and whatnot. The schism was being led by a brilliant scientist/entrepreneur and a field agent, with the former thinking that Groudon should be at the top of the food chain while the latter believed Kyogre should be at the top.
Sounds familiar? Cause it should be familiar.
These little shits were Maxie Matsubusa and Archie Aogin. The leaders of Team Magma and Team Aqua. Although these organizations had slightly different names in this universe.
Maxie leads Magma Industries. A private firm with its claws firmly embedded across many sectors. Unofficially, they also own the biggest shares of many blackmarkets across the world and have a chokehold on the Food production and Realestate sectors.
Archie, on the other hand, leads Aqua Shipping Inc. The largest private logistics services on the planet, with their shipping lanes extending to even the most remote countries, and with a reputation for always delivering on their promise. Unofficially, they are the biggest band of organized crime and piracy in the ocean.
Oh, and these two formed Hoenn citizens also own extremely large PMCs, spies, and all that other fun stuff.
I really want to know who designed this universe. If fate, destiny, or other such stuff really exists, then I want to know who created these concepts as well.
And maybe introduce them to my Macron Cannon in my Mega form.
And speaking of Mega form, why is it that Groudon and Kyogre got those cool abilities after ingesting those strange crystals in the Hollow Earth, but they don't do anything for me?
Makes me very jealous!
I need to get down there as soon as possible and devour one of those mountains of crystals that Groudon tends to hoard in his lair, since they are relatively tasty to snack on.
Anyways, from what I gathered from the humans, these two organizations have been working on ways to either subjugate me or kill me so that one of my brothers can take my place as the 'leader' of the titans and achieve their goals, which is hella complicated from what I found from the human minds.
Somewhere between eco-terrorism and saviour complex? Something along those lines, I think.
When the two idiots learned about the existence of these two cults, they suffered from second hand embaressment and haven't been able to look anyone in the eye whenever that topic is brought up.
I sighed a little and turned to my siblings.
'Look. They may be deranged and have gone off the deep end. But from what I've found, those two still worship you two as their gods and would not dare to talk back if you ordered them to do something. So, the plan has not changed one bit.'
'We will wait for the humans to find the heads of those two cults. Once they find em, you two will go to your respective cults and connect with their minds, telling them to stop all of this. Got it?'
'Yeah.'
'I got it.'
'Good. So, who is up for another night of drinking?'
That immediately got their attention as Groudon literally jumped to his feet, much to the dismay of the humans, since his movement caused a rather significant earthquake. Thankfully, the buildings are made with flexible materials and are quake-resistant most of the time.
Kyoger also surfaced happily and levitated over to land, plopping down happily in front of my lake of wine that is continuously being pumped with the nectar.
Seeing their reactions, I could not help but chuff in laughter.
My family may be extremely dysfunctional, but I wouldn't trade em for anything.
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