21. "WRONGS OF A LITTLE BOY"
Once upon a time, there was a little boy, running around with no focus, one day he stumbled upon a girl that took his attention the first time he laid his eyes on her but he wasn't mature enough to keep the kind of love they both was trying to have, so she left him because of his continuous wrongs.
He has left her to walk alone in a place that she doesn't know of, he shouted at her in the streets right beside the cars driving by and a few nights before she broke up with him, she said she needs to talk to him as a friend, he gave her a cold shoulder, she replied with a voice note of her crying while she was trying to talk.
That little boy was me, now I've been without my flower for 7 months and it hasn't been easy but it has taught me tough lessons that made me a better person, the things that have made her unlove me are the wrongs of a little boy.
I can't undo all the things I did to her, I can't make up for the scars that I've caused her, emotional abuse is worse than physical abuse, so I'm deeply sorry for all the wrongs I've done in the past.
I've changed for the better, I've had enough time to grow up and I'm no longer that little boy that caused this damn heartbreak.
22. "ALL OF A SUDDEN"
All of a sudden, you're too good for me..
Before you cut me off, think about the times I've made you feel good, loved and cared for, think about the times you've needed me and I was actually there to be by your side, before you turn your heart cold, think about what you're gonna do when nobody's at home.
You can call me whatever, paint me however toxic you want, maybe you're right, I could be too toxic for you but you've also seen what I can do for you, that's the type of dedication that's hard to find, don't act like you don't know that I cater to your emotional, spiritual needs, don't be quick to forget that I please your physical desires.
All of a sudden you're too good for my kind.. alright.
22. "MOMMY ISSUES PT.2"
It's about time that I make peace with the fact that my grandmother is always gonna be a 2nd mother to me, it hurts that older yet I'm still struggling to accept the way my mother is, tonight made me realize that I still have a void and it's never gonna be filled up.
I'm sitting with my grandmother, my mother's big sister and my mother, then all of a sudden, my grandmother looks at me and says "Sbusiso, where Zinhle?".
My mother has never bothered to ask about that girl ever since I met her, she's never bothered to know what that girl meant to me and tonight my grandmother asked me everything, whether she's still my girlfriend, where does she live, how am I doing after the breakup.. meanwhile my mother gives no damn about anything going on.
It hurts that my grandmother cares about how I'm doing, how I'm feeling, what I'm dealing with and what I need, more than my mother does.
23. "THANKS TO PAIN"
The pain that I've been going through has been doing its work on me, I've grown so much in so many ways, I'm not the same person I was before, I've found meaning in little things and my awareness of everything that revolves around me has grown, I listen more, I talk with purpose now, I speak my mind, I lead and I offer what I expect, none of this would be possible if I hadn't went through this pain.