6. "We Should Be Together"
There's a smile on my face everytime I talk about you, then that smile slowly disappears when I remember that we are not together as I wish we could be. No matter how much I try, I can't help but think that we should be what God brought us to be.
We should be as one, we should fall back in love, we should open our hearts and let this love grow and see the best of these years, through the good and bad times, I'm willing to weather the storm until the sun shines on us, we should be together as what God brought us to be.
7. "INTERLUDE"
The next thought, "Nightshift", was written months after the break up but it was written as if we're still in a relationship and it's one of our bad days. It reminisces and rewrites the night where things went pretty bad between me and her..
Enjoy.
8. "NIGHTSHIFT"
Lately I've been sleeping on this bed I'm not used to, every morning I've gotta wake up and go back home, that's kind of draining and tiring, so I've been stressed out.
My baby hasn't been online like usual, she got chores at home, plus she got her school work, I have been putting a lot of my bullshit onto her and I haven't realising that she has a lot on her plate too. At 6 is the time she's usually online, a few days ago, I was on FaceTime with her and it made this house feel a little bit warm.
I guess being alone throughout the entire day and then going through this nightshift has been taking its toll on me and I haven't been able to separate my personal issues and my relationship, my understanding and insight have been a little blurry lately.
I should just wait until she's online, call her and ask her about her day, just so I can listen to her voice while I lay on this bed, I should also tell her what I've been going through, what's the reason of calling her my baby if I can't trust her with my struggles?
She never judge me, she always seems to find the perfect words for any bad situation, yes I should confide in her about it before this escalates and affects my relationship.
8. "Responsibility"
Pointing fingers isn't the solution, when you put your anger aside, you realise the truth, we can feed ourselves lies only to sleep at night but at the end of it all, the truth remains.
I was so mad at everyone and everything, I was blinded by anger and viciousness, I couldn't see the truth of it all but I can see it now, even though it took me a while. I am the one responsible for the break up, I led her to the breaking point, I've got a mile long list of wrongs and each fuck up pushed her away from until she got the courage to leave me.
I did so many thing to mess up the relationship, I just couldn't find a way to lead us to the right direction, I guess I haven't took the responsibility for my actions because I've been blinded by anger and pain but now I realise that I'm the one to blame for the breakup.
So many wrongs, it was bound to end, I didn't appreciate it until I lost her, so many wrongs, I took her for granted, I didn't wanna do better, I lost her because of me. The truth remains, I broke her heart over and over again, put her through a lot of shit and I take full responsibility for my actions.