Morning in the Fluff Kingdom was, by all accounts, peaceful chaos.Birds sang hymns in three-part harmony. Rabbits marched in rows to deliver breakfast. And tigers, majestic and semi-divine, practiced yoga on the castle terrace.
In the middle of it all sat Keika, clutching his teacup like a drowning man holding onto driftwood.
"So… what's the damage report?" he asked flatly."Two birds fainted from overexcitement, three tigers broke the fountain while playing tag, and the rabbits are planning a parade," Leonhart replied cheerfully."And that's a normal morning?""Since you became king, yes!"
Keika sipped his tea, dead eyes staring into the void.
"I want a refund on my life."
Before Leonhart could respond, the palace doors burst open with a whoosh of shimmering wind.
From faraway, a radiant figure stepped through — tall, elegant, and surrounded by faintly glowing motes of light. Her hair flowed like liquid silver, and her every step made flowers bloom in the marble cracks.
"Lady Eliara, Ambassador of the Silver Glade, representative of the High Elves," announced a rabbit, saluting so hard it flipped over.
Keika nearly dropped his cup.
"Oh, for the love of—she actually came?!"
Leonhart brightened instantly.
"Your Majesty! It's the elf you mentioned! The beautiful one with divine energy and perfect complexion!""Stop describing her like a skincare commercial!" Keika hissed.
Eliara gave a graceful bow.
"I've come to formally thank you for your kindness, King Keika. And to establish peaceful relations between our peoples."
The birds swooned midair.The tigers lined up like soldiers.Even the rabbits knelt dramatically, whispering,
"She's divine! Like our king—but shinier!"
Keika pressed a hand to his face.
"I live in a fairy tale written by a drunk god."
The "Royal Banquet of Friendship" was, technically speaking, a banquet.If you ignored that the food was being stolen by birds, the tigers used the chairs as scratching posts, and the rabbits insisted on narrating everything like sports commentators.
"Behold! The elf lady is raising her fork!""Such grace! Such elegance! Ten points!"
Keika smiled stiffly.
"Ambassador Eliara, please don't mind the… enthusiasm. They're just… lively."
"They're delightful," Eliara said kindly, eyes sparkling. "Your subjects adore you."
"They adore chaos," Keika muttered. "I'm just the mascot."
At that exact moment, the main doors slammed open again — and in walked a familiar voice, dripping with overconfidence.
"So this is where you've been hiding, Keika!"
Keika froze mid-sip.
"...Jouzo?"
The once-legendary playboy hero of the VRMMORPG turned-actual-hero strutted into the hall like he owned the place. He wore gleaming armor, his golden hair somehow shining despite the dust of travel, and three women trailed behind him looking half-admiring, half-exasperated.
"Still alive, I see," Jouzo grinned. "We thought you got vaporized by the King of Lust or whatever that blond guy was."
"Oh, don't worry," Keika said dryly. "He only tried to eat me."
Jouzo blinked.
"...Literally?""Figuratively. Maybe. I blacked out halfway."
Leonhart coughed politely.
"I can hear you, you know."
"And I still don't want to remember you," Keika snapped.
Eliara, trying to maintain decorum, turned to Jouzo.
"You're his friend?""Co-worker from hell," Keika corrected. "He's the hero. I was just the poor NPC that got dragged along."
Jouzo leaned in, whispering conspiratorially.
"You realize your palace is full of talking animals, right?""You realize you're the reason I got kidnapped by a divine bird, right?" Keika shot back."Touché."
The hero party sat down (somewhat) to dine with the elf ambassador.It would have been civilized — if the birds hadn't decided to start an "air acrobatics display," dropping flowers and feathers on everyone's food.
One of Jouzo's companions shrieked.
"Ew! It touched my soup!"
A rabbit jumped onto the table.
"No blasphemy in front of His Majesty's sacred birds!"
"Sacred—?!" the woman sputtered. "They're literally pecking my bread!"
The tigers growled menacingly.Eliara calmly sipped her tea as if none of this was unusual.Keika pinched the bridge of his nose.
"This is why I don't host dinner parties," he muttered.
Jouzo laughed.
"Still the same, huh? The calm one in the middle of madness."
"You call this calm? I'm one emotional breakdown away from becoming a forest hermit."
Leonhart, ever loyal, clapped his hands.
"To our King and his old comrade, reunited at last!"
"Stop calling me king!" Keika groaned. "I'm a hostage of fluffy affection, not royalty!"
As night fell, the banquet descended into something between a carnival and a nature documentary gone wrong.Tigers danced. Rabbits performed a marching song.The birds formed the word "PEACE" in the sky using glowing feathers.
Eliara turned to Keika, smiling softly.
"You're remarkable, you know.""Please stop saying that," Keika begged. "Every time someone does, my life gets worse."
She laughed, brushing a strand of hair from her face.
"Still, you've built something no human could.""Yeah," he sighed. "A diplomatic nightmare."
Jouzo approached, clinking his glass against Keika's.
"To old friends and new chaos.""I don't drink anymore," Keika muttered. "It only makes the hallucinations more polite."
The next morning, the headline in the palace's official bird-delivered newsletter read:
"Historic Alliance Formed Between Fluff Kingdom and Silver Glade!""Hero Party Declares Keika 'Not Human, Probably Divine.'""Bird Commander Promoted After Mid-Banquet Dive-Bomb."
Keika lay face-down on his bed, unmoving.
"This is it," he whispered into the pillow. "The world's first Isekai Romantic Zoo Simulator."
Leonhart knocked gently.
"Your Majesty, the rabbits are requesting you open the festival tomorrow with a smile.""Tell them I died.""Already told them that last week.""Then tell them I reincarnated as a rock."
A pause.
"They said they'd still worship you."
Keika's soul ascended.
"Of course they would."