Respawn in a Dead World
When Keika opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was a sky on fire.The second thing he saw was a floating status window cheerfully declaring:
[Welcome to Realm of Endings!]
[Tutorial Mode: SURVIVE (Estimated time: Until further notice)]
[Companion: Assigned Automatically]
He lay flat on scorched soil, smoke curling from nearby ruins. A breeze carried the faint scent of ozone and despair.
"…You know, I was hoping the next world would at least have coffee."
The system didn't respond.Instead, a massive shadow loomed above him.
"Greetings, mortal! I am your assigned tutorial partner!"
Keika tilted his head up.Towering over him was a ten-foot-tall skeleton in rusted armor — glowing blue eyes, massive halberd, voice full of cheerful menace.
"I am Gregorius the Eternal! Lord of the Beginner's Plains! Devourer of—"
Keika sat up, brushed off some ash, and deadpanned:
"You're the tutorial, not a raid boss. Calm down, calcium king."
The skeleton paused.
"…Calcium… king?""Yeah. You look like a gym supplement that gained sentience."
Gregorius froze. His glowing eye sockets flickered like hurt puppies.
"T-that's… cruel."
"Welcome to the club," Keika muttered. "Population: me."
Meet the Ghost
As Keika dusted himself off, a faint voice echoed behind him.
"Don't mind him," said a small, transparent girl hovering above a broken shrine. "Gregorius means well. He just doesn't know what 'subtlety' is."
Keika turned.The spirit girl had soft blue hair, half-transparent robes, and an ethereal glow that screamed "tragic tutorial NPC."
"Great," he muttered. "A ghost loli. Haven't seen that trope since 2008."
"Excuse me?""Nothing. Just realizing my suffering is genre-compliant."
The girl clasped her hands.
"I'm Lilia, guide spirit of this dying realm. I'll be helping you survive!"
"Right. Step one, coffee?""Step one, not dying!""…So no coffee."
System Error (Of Course)
A ding sounded.
[ERROR: Tutorial AI 'Lilia' has exceeded recommended optimism levels.]
[ERROR: Companion 'Gregorius' too attached.]
[ERROR: Player Keika has already mentally checked out.]
Keika sighed.
"Even the system knows I'm done."
Gregorius looked confused.
"Sir Keika, the gods chose you! You must save this world from oblivion!"
"No.""No?""I'm going to find the nearest inn, pretend to be dead, and let destiny pick someone else."
Lilia blinked.
"But you have the Blessing of Creation! The power of infinite crafting! The light of—""—a man who used to manage a host club and now babysits skeletons and ghosts? Yeah, I know."
The Goddess Appears
Before either spirit or skeleton could respond, the sky cracked.A golden figure descended — radiant, serene, smiling far too brightly.
"Welcome, my chosen one!"
Keika covered his eyes.
"Oh, no. No no no. Not another one."
The goddess landed gracefully, her presence bending the air. Her halo flickered like a dying LED bulb.
"I am Aurieth, Goddess of Restoration. I've waited eons for your arrival."
Keika glared.
"Last time someone said that, I ended up teaching tigers to use spoons."
Aurieth smiled sweetly.
"Then perhaps this time, you'll teach angels how to fight."
"I'd rather eat dirt."
"Perfect!" she said brightly. "That's step one in divine training: humility through soil appreciation!"
Lilia whispered, "She's… not entirely stable."
"None of you are," Keika muttered. "I'm in the world's worst visual novel."
"Hero's Tutorial"
Gregorius slammed his halberd into the ground.
"Sir Keika, we must start your training!"
"Define training.""Combat! Crafting! Divine synergy!""Translation: unpaid labor."
Aurieth clapped. "Training begins!"
The next several minutes were a blur of chaos:
Gregorius trying to demonstrate sword technique and accidentally slicing a mountain.
Lilia floating into a magic barrier and short-circuiting.
Aurieth lecturing about "divine destiny" while setting random trees on fire.
Keika stood in the middle of the carnage, expression perfectly blank.
"This is my life now. Hell has meetings."
System Notification
As the fires settled, a new window popped up.
[TRIAL COMPLETE.]
[BEGIN REAL GAME.]
[NOTE: Previous World Was Simulated Training Environment.]
[WARNING: TRUE DESTRUCTION IMMINENT.]
[OBJECTIVE: REBUILD THE LOST WORLD.]
[STARTING PARTY: You, Skeleton, Ghost, and Probably-Insane Goddess.]
Keika read the message twice. Then thrice.
"…Wait. So everything before this — the Fluff Kingdom, Leonhart, the rabbits — was just a test?"
Aurieth smiled.
"Of course not! That was season one."
"..."
Keika stared up at the burning heavens.
"If there are writers scripting this, I will find them and throw them into the sun."
Lilia whispered:
"Uh… Sir Keika? The sun just blinked."
The entire sky pulsed ominously.
Keika sighed.
"Of course it did. Because why not."