Morning broke over the Fluff Kingdom — soft, golden, suspiciously peaceful. Birds chirped, tigers yawned, and somewhere, a rabbit polished a medal from yesterday's festival.
And then came the whisper that shook paradise:
"The King is missing!"
The Great Escape Plan
Keika crouched behind a bush at the edge of the forest, cloak fluttering, expression dead serious.
"Okay, step one: sneak out. Step two: don't get caught. Step three: never come back."
He looked around cautiously — no tigers, no birds, no Leonhart.Just the calm rustle of leaves and the smell of freedom.
"Finally," he muttered. "Peace."
He took one step forward.And immediately tripped on a rabbit.
"Pii!" squeaked the creature.
Keika hit the ground face-first.
"How are you everywhere?!"
The rabbit tilted its head innocently and blew a tiny whistle.Within seconds, an entire brigade of tigers and birds crashed through the foliage like divine riot police.
Leonhart emerged dramatically from the trees, hands on hips.
"Keika-sama! Were you… trying to leave?"
"No," Keika said flatly. "I was practicing… walking away from responsibility."
"Excellent! We'll form a parade in your honor!"
"…You're impossible," Keika groaned.
He tried to teleport away.The spell glitched mid-cast — sparks, a pop, and poof!
The world twisted. The next thing Keika knew, he was upside-down, hanging from a tree branch, surrounded by glowing flowers and drifting motes of light.
"Ow. Okay. That's new."
He blinked. The forest around him wasn't the same — ancient trees, crystalline rivers, everything shimmering faintly with mana. The air smelled like spring and heartbreak.
"Did I… teleport into an elf commercial?" he muttered.
Then, a voice — soft, melodic, too beautiful to be legal.
"You shouldn't sleep in sacred branches, human."
Keika looked down — and froze.A tall, ethereal woman stood below, her silver-green hair flowing like liquid light, pointed ears twitching slightly.
Her eyes — bright as dawn dew — stared at him with faint amusement.
"Oh. You're… an elf," Keika said dumbly."A high elf," she corrected, gracefully folding her arms. "You've trespassed into the Silver Glade."
"Right, right. Sorry. I'll just—uh—hang out here forever then."
The elf raised a brow.
"Are all humans this strange?""Most are. I'm the upgrade: certified disaster edition."
After freeing him, the high elf introduced herself as Eliara, guardian of the Silver Glade.They walked beside a stream glowing with spirit light — flowers blooming wherever she stepped.
"This place…" Keika whispered, awed despite himself. "It's like nature got jealous of heaven.""Nature is heaven," Eliara said serenely."Uh-huh. And heaven is where I go every time I pass out from stress."
She laughed — a musical, bell-like sound that nearly stopped his heart.
"Maybe," Keika muttered to himself, "maybe this is it. She's not human. She's literally glowing. Maybe I can actually get a wife here…"
"Did you say something?" Eliara asked."No, no. Just admiring the photosynthesis."
Just as Keika started to feel that maybe, just maybe, he could start a peaceful life among elves—
The ground trembled.A cloud of feathers and fur burst through the treeline.
"FOUND YOU, MY KING!"
Keika turned pale.
"No. No, no, no, NO—"
Leonhart rode in on a tiger the size of a wagon, surrounded by birds carrying banners that read "Welcome Home!"
Eliara blinked.
"Are… those heavenly beasts?""They were heavenly," Keika said, voice hollow. "Now they're my stalkers."
The tigers roared affectionately.The birds sang an anthem.The rabbits saluted with flags.
Eliara's expression softened from confusion to shock.
"You're… their king?""Not by choice!" Keika shouted, backing away. "I'm a hostage of affection!"
Leonhart dismounted dramatically.
"My liege, we were worried you'd starve without your morning tea!"
"I WAS TRYING TO STARVE IN PEACE!" Keika yelled.
Eliara covered her mouth, suppressing a laugh.
"You are truly… extraordinary."
"No, I'm cursed," Keika corrected. "There's a difference."
The elf's eyes softened.
"Still, your bond with these beings is… rare. Perhaps fate tied you to more than kingdoms."
Keika sighed, dragging a hand through his hair.
"Yeah, fate and duct tape feel the same at this point."
She smiled faintly.
"You have my blessing, wandering king of chaos. Come visit again—when you're not being chased by your own zoo."
"Thanks. I'll… probably crash into your forest again soon."
The tigers carried Keika home in triumph, chanting "Long live the King!"The rabbits threw petals.The birds sang victory hymns.
Keika's soul left his body halfway through the parade.
"So this is my life now," he muttered. "A divine joke with fur."
Leonhart laughed beside him.
"You're the heart of our kingdom, Keika-sama!""I'm the hostage, Leonhart. There's a difference!"
A notification window blinked into view.
[Quest Completed: Escape from Fluff Kingdom – FAILURE][New Quest: Courtship of the High Elf Guardian – IN PROGRESS]
Keika stared at the glowing text.
"…Oh no. No. No, no, no. She's going to visit, isn't she?"
Outside, a soft elven laugh echoed on the wind.
And Keika knew, with absolute despair, that he'd just added another species to his unstoppable non-human harem.