The day began with the heroic cry of a tiger:
"STRETCH YOUR CLAWS AND EMBRACE THE DAWN!"
And ended Keika's will to live.
"Who let the tigers start motivational training at five a.m.?" Keika groaned, clutching a pillow over his head.Leonhart, annoyingly energetic, beamed."It's the first day of the Cultural Exchange Program!"
"The what now?"
"Your brilliant idea yesterday, remember?""I was being sarcastic!"
Too late. The "Fluff Kingdom Cultural Exchange" was now official — banners were hung, birds were singing the anthem in four languages, and a giant sign in glittering feathers read:
"Friendship Through Chaos!"
In the courtyard, the hero party stood in shock.They had expected a normal training session.Instead, they got… tiger boot camp.
"Lesson one!" roared Leonhart. "If you hesitate, the prey escapes! Charge!"
The tigers pounced — gracefully, terrifyingly, and very much uninvited.
Jouzo barely blocked a paw strike.
"WHY ARE WE TRAINING WITH DIVINE BEASTS?!""They volunteered!" Leonhart shouted back proudly."THEY'RE TRYING TO EAT US!"
Keika sat on the sidelines, sipping tea with the serenity of a man who'd stopped caring about mortal affairs.
"See? That's what happens when you stay in my kingdom too long. You become protein."
Eliara stood beside him, expression calm.
"It's good for them. Builds humility.""Yeah. And trauma."
Meanwhile, inside the grand hall—The elves were attempting to teach etiquette to rabbits.
"A proper bow should be done gracefully," explained an elf instructor.The rabbits saluted instead."HUP! HONOR TO THE KING!"
"No, no—bow, not salute!"The rabbits bowed so fast they slammed their foreheads into the floor.
"Ow…" one whimpered."PERSEVERE FOR HIS MAJESTY!" shouted another.
Eliara watched the chaos unfold, hands trembling as she tried not to laugh.
"They're… very enthusiastic.""They're a cult," Keika said flatly. "A polite, fuzzy cult."
After hours of watching tigers spar, rabbits faint, and birds deliver unsolicited performance critiques, Keika sat at his desk — surrounded by paperwork, empty teacups, and despair.
He cracked his knuckles, pulled out a quill, and began writing once again:
To the Deities in Charge of My Cosmic Misery,
I, Keika, former host, accidental isekai king, hereby resign from this role.I request immediate transfer back to Japan, preferably with air-conditioning and zero divine interference.
Regards,A very tired human.
He stamped it, sealed it, and threw it dramatically toward the sky.
A golden envelope materialized midair.It shimmered, opened… and a voice echoed through the palace.
"Oh, hey, Keika! Long time no prayer!"
Keika froze.
"…God?""Yup! Just got your resignation letter. Very professional."
"So… does that mean—?"
"Approved!" the voice boomed cheerfully.A beam of light descended, engulfing Keika before he could react."Wait—WAIT WAIT WAIT I WASN'T SERIOUS—!!"
Flash.
Back to Japan (Momentarily)
Keika blinked awake to the familiar hum of an air conditioner.His tiny Tokyo apartment. His futon. His half-eaten cup ramen.
"Oh my god… I'm back."
He looked around, dazed. The smell of instant coffee. The sound of traffic. Civilization.
"I did it… I escaped the fur-based monarchy."
He laughed — actually laughed — the kind that came from sheer disbelief and joy.
"No more tigers! No more rabbits! No more divine idiots!"
He threw open the window, grinning.
"I'M FREE—!!"
The Joke
The sky split open.
"HAHAHA! Nah, I'm kidding!"
Keika's grin froze.
"No."
"Yup! That was a test run. The real battle starts now!"
"WHAT REAL—"
A colossal golden hand reached down from the heavens, snatched Keika like a toy, and yeeted him straight into a rainbow vortex.
"NOOOOOOOO—!!!"
The voice laughed thunderously as Keika vanished.
"Warm up that charisma, buddy! The sequel arc's about to begin!"
Back to the Fluff Kingdom (Again)
Keika slammed face-first into the Fluff Kingdom's courtyard.The tigers immediately cheered.
"OUR KING RETURNS!"
The rabbits threw confetti.The birds performed a welcome dance midair.
Leonhart, radiant as ever, smiled.
"Your Majesty! Did you enjoy your divine vacation?"
Keika, face down in the grass, raised one trembling hand.
"Leonhart… get me a shovel.""To build a new castle?""No. To dig my grave.
Divine Afterword
A golden message appeared above his head:
[NEW QUEST UNLOCKED: "TRUE KINGDOM MODE – DEFEND FLUFF KINGDOM FROM THE CELESTIAL INVASION"]
[WARNING: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.]
[REWARD: Possibly Peace. Probably Not.]
Keika groaned, staring at the glowing sky.
"I swear… when I meet that god in person, I'm charging him by the hour."