The sun rose over the Fluff Kingdom, golden light illuminating chaos in its purest form. The air vibrated with excitement — and feathers. Lots and lots of feathers.
Colorful banners waved over the palace grounds, where hundreds of tigers, birds, rabbits, and a handful of terrified nobles had gathered for what Leonhart proudly declared:
"The First Annual Fluff Kingdom Sports Festival!"
Keika stood at the edge of the field, in full disbelief.
"…Why?" he asked flatly."To promote unity between species!" Leonhart beamed."Between species?" Keika repeated. "You mean between fur, feathers, and people who regret existing?"
A rabbit in a tiny referee's hat blew a whistle.
"Opening ceremony in three… two… one!"
Scene: The Grand Opening
A squadron of birds flew overhead, dropping glittering petals.The tigers marched in synchronized formation.The rabbits hopped in rhythm, holding miniature flags.
The hero party—who'd been "invited" as "honored guests" (read: forcibly teleported)—watched in horror.
"I… I thought this was a combat tournament," the warrior said weakly."No," the mage whispered, trembling. "It's worse. It's organized enthusiasm.""We're all going to die," the rogue muttered.
Event One — The 100-Meter Dash (Tigers Division)
The red-eyed tiger flexed.A rabbit raised the starting flag.A bird hovered above, holding the "Go" sign.
"Ready…""Set…""GO!"
Five massive tigers launched forward, tearing up half the field.The crowd roared.
Leonhart shouted into a conch shell (which apparently acted as a microphone).
"Spectacular start from Team Stripe Fury! But—oh, what's this?! A mysterious energy fluctuation near the VIP stand!"
Everyone turned.Keika had simply sneezed.
The magical shockwave flattened the grass in a perfect straight line—exactly through the finish line.
The referee rabbits froze.Then all of them raised their flags.
"WINNER: KEIKA-SAMA!"
Keika blinked.
"…I wasn't even running.""A true display of dominance!" Leonhart announced dramatically. "He defeated distance itself!"
Event Two — Rabbit Obstacle Course
The rabbits bounded across seesaws, tunnels, and hoops. Birds dropped confetti from above.Halfway through, a rogue rabbit tripped, launching itself directly into Keika's lap in the stands.
The crowd gasped.Leonhart gasped louder.
"The King's aura of comfort has lured the rabbits to surrender! Extraordinary! Another flawless victory for Keika-sama!"
"…I'm sitting," Keika said. "Sitting is not a sport.""It is when the universe loves you," Leonhart countered, scribbling notes for next year's events.
The scoreboard now read:
Keika: 2 pointsEveryone Else: 0
The hero party was trembling.
"We're losing to a guy who's not even participating," the rogue whispered."This world is broken," the warrior muttered.
Event Three — Sky Joust (Birds Division)
Birds armed with tiny lances soared into the sky.Keika sipped tea, praying for a quiet five minutes.
A gust of wind suddenly rose—his sigh, amplified by magic.The resulting air current sent half the competitors tumbling gracefully out of formation.
Leonhart jumped up.
"Keika-sama's breath technique strikes again! Unparalleled aerial mastery!"
"…It was a sigh!" Keika yelled."And yet… what a majestic sigh!" Leonhart said, wiping a tear.
Scoreboard update:
Keika: 3 points (Champion of the Skies)
Scene: Event Four — Tug of War (Hero Party vs. Tigers)
Finally, something "normal."
The hero party grabbed one side of a massive rope.The tigers took the other.
"At last, an even match!" the warrior said."No, it's not," Keika muttered. "They're literally muscle with fur."
The referee rabbit hopped between them.
"Ready, set, PULL!"
The rope snapped instantly, launching both sides into the air.They all crashed directly into the royal pavilion—where Keika happened to be sitting.
Dust exploded.When it cleared, everyone was in a tangled heap… except Keika, who was somehow untouched, sipping his tea.
The rabbits and birds stared in awe.
"The King stands unshaken amidst chaos…""Truly, divine balance incarnate…"
Leonhart raised both hands dramatically.
"Another victory! Keika-sama wins by default and divine composure!"
Keika's eye twitched.
"I'm filing for worker's compensation."
Half-Time Show (The "Fluff Anthem")
Hundreds of creatures gathered in formation, singing something suspiciously similar to an idol opening theme.Lyrics included the lines:
"Fluff for the King, shine like his hair, Keika-sama our fluffy heir!"
Keika looked ready to evaporate from secondhand embarrassment.The hero party tried not to laugh.
"You're basically their national treasure," the rogue whispered."More like their emotional hostage," Keika muttered.
Event Five — Final Showdown (Survival Match)
Leonhart stood proudly.
"Final event! Last one standing wins! All contestants may use any means necessary!"
Immediately, chaos erupted.Birds dive-bombed rabbits.Tigers launched dust clouds.The hero party scrambled for cover.
Keika did the only sensible thing:He lay down under a tree and pretended to nap.
When the dust settled an hour later, everyone else was unconscious.
The birds, barely standing, croaked into the microphone:
"Winner… Keika-sama…"
Leonhart wiped a tear.
"Truly, victory through serenity. The stillness of an unflappable god."
Keika sat up slowly.
"I fell asleep," he said flatly."And thus achieved enlightenment!" Leonhart declared.
Closing Ceremony
Fireworks lit the sky.Birds released confetti.Rabbits marched with medals.
Leonhart placed a golden crown made of feathers and leaves on Keika's head.
"Behold our eternal champion!"
"…Please stop rewarding my apathy," Keika muttered.
The hero party clapped weakly from the sidelines.
"Honestly," the mage sighed, "he deserves it. He's been through… everything.""Yeah," the rogue agreed. "I surrender to the fluff."
Later that night, Keika sat under the stars, rabbits curled around his feet, tigers lounging nearby.
"I didn't even participate," he said softly."And yet, you won every event," Leonhart replied cheerfully."Which means next year's sports festival will be even bigger!"
Keika's expression went blank.
"…Next. Year?"
The notification window pinged:
[Quest Added: Defend Your Title – Fluff Kingdom Sports Festival II]
[Mandatory participation detected.]
Keika stared at the glowing screen, eyes dead inside.
"…I'm going to build a rocket," he said. "And I'm never coming back."
The tigers purred approvingly.The rabbits saluted.The birds squawked triumphantly.
And somewhere, the gods of comedy laughed.