Here i was walking down the road thinking about what all happened in this short time i was i a life and death struggle against another beyonder i succesfully robbed someone and got a lot of money i also got shot in that timeframe i wonder what should i do now?.
Should i try to live my life a bit more easy from now on with 500 pounds i could live comfortable for a while and if i look for an ideal victim in that time again i could live an easy life.
But somehow i dont want that now after this robbery even less in the fight when i got shot i feelt truly weak in that moment and when i ran away and thought what a dumb death this would be i feelt even more weak it gives me the feeling that i really want to promote my sequence to get unimaginable powers beyond the limit of humans.
Of course i also know how dumb that is in someway because i was in danger that time i want to rank up my sequence and while doing so i will put myself in more danger than if i were just living normally.
The only real problem is for me still that i will lose a lot of emotions once i become a sequence 8 but if i think about it losing guilt and empathy is it truly so bad since i still atleast keep my other emotions which i consider more important like happiness sadness and smaller but still important emotions like envy anger greed and although i will lose guilt and empathy other pathways will also slowly change you're emotions.
It feels more like im trying to make excuses right now even though i try to talk myself into thinking that the abyss pathway isnt that bad the problem is that it is that bad while other pathways do lose emotions thats only at sequence 4 and even then they arent fully gone until sequence 2 you most likely dont even feel that different than most normal humans.
Well it isnt like i can change pathways now anyways if i truly wanted to advance while not wanting to drink the sequence 8 of the abyss pathway i could try to drink the sequence 8 of the chained pathway but that will most likely result in my death i would rather give up advancement or drink the sequence 8 than to gamble with my life like this.
I have been walking for quite a while but im still not fully home thats probably because im walking a lot slower than normally because of my wound now that i think about it what should i do with my job?.
Of course i planned on quitting and i still do but my workshift begins in like 5 minutes should i just not go and quit tommorow or should i go now to nosh and tell him now im quitting atleast?.
I think its better to go now and tell him that im not planning on continuing this job.
While i continued to walk i still thought about many things like what the hell was that weird dream i had today.
Is this really the corruption from the abyss but is it only this weak when edward told me i might lose control when i take those bandages i thought it would be more extreme or maybe it wasnt the abyss but something else but it did look like the abyss somewhat there was a bloody ritual that does look like something devil worshippers would make but again almost all cults in this world do some bloody ritual now that i think about it im really an idiot i had so many questions today that i forgot to ask edward if this dream might be connected with the corruption i had from the abyss since edward is from a higher sequence he might have known.
Now that i think about it edward wants to turn the Beyonder characteristics from louis perry into an artifact i wonder how would a artifact of an hunter be like and what powers would it give the only thing i can imagine is like gloves that boost you're strength and maybe a map that tells you where you can set up traps?.
But louis perry wasnt just a hunter he was a sequence 8 provoker so maybe it would be like a megaphone and whatever you scream inside it will provoke the enemy?.
I continued walking slowly to noshs restaurant while thinking about random and weird things like can a spectator give an sequence 8 of the abyss pathway his guilt back. Normally i enjoy working since theres not much entertainment in this world and i also often have a lot of stress but right now because of the sting of pain in my stomach it really doesnt feel that pleasant today.
I soon arrived at noshs restaurant i knew that this talk might become unpleasant but i knew that once it was over i finally would have a lot less stress.
When i walked into the restaurant i saw josh.
"viktor you said you wouldnt be late again yesterday and here you go being late again atleast its only around 5 minutes this time i dont think nosh will make to big of a deal out of this but if this continues he might"
"sorry for being late again but i have to talk to nosh for now"
I went to noshs office it wasnt big just a small room i knocked on the door waiting for him to say that i can come in once he answered i entered his office.
"viktor you're late again but it isnt that big of a deal just go and hurry up with the preparations"
"boss i wanted to inform you that i quit"
"wait you're quitting is that why you have been coming late so often did you look for a new job?"
Well in a way hes right i guess.
"yeah you could say that"
"fine you can quit when the month is over but till then i dont want you to come late"
"no boss im sorry but i want to quit now i dont plan on coming tommorow to work again of course i dont expect you to pay the money i worked for this week already see this as compensation for my unexpected leave suddenly"
"i think you dont really understand how this works viktor once you want to quit you tell you're boss about it and need to continue to work for atleast a week after its a law you know if you do want to quit still i will report this"
"if you were to report this i would also like to report a lot of unsanitary things in this restaurant too"
Although the things that are unsanitary in the restaurant are a lot in this era it still isnt being taken as serious at most he would need to pay a small fine and fix it but similarly if he were to report me the police would just warn me most likely at first that i should go and work for the time being so neither of us would lose to much but it still isnt something that he would like to do atleast thats what i hope since i dont really want to be reported after i just did a robbery.
"fine leave and never come back brat"
Sure never planned on eating here anyways i then went outside the office and began to leave when josh came to me.
"hey where are you going viktor did the apology not work?"
"i didnt apologize i quit the job"
"wait what why would you do that?"
"sorry but i found a better job i will be leaving goodbye"
And with this i left im pretty sure josh mouth was pretty wide open it seemed like i shocked him quite a lot with this but i guess i do understand while this job isnt perfect for the east borough its a good one especially when considering my age and skills but i still wanted to quit its to exhausting to try and be a beyonder and work at the same time for a small payment.
I know what i did was still a shitty thing to do since for the previous viktor nosh was almost a saviour since when his mother died he needed a job and nosh gave him one at that time not only that the job although stressful was a very good one and nosh wasnt to bad or strict.
But those were the feelings of the previous viktor my feelings are quite different since beginning i didnt like this job maybe because im only barely able to live with this money and because of how unsanitary it was but mostly because it feelt more like the live of the old viktor rather than my own life it made me feel less like im my own person if i had stayed there for longer i rather cut the connections that the previous viktor had off and make my own life out of it.