My town is mad at me. One of the other Arms Dealers came to confront me. Our vibes clashed immediately. He wanted war. I wanted to fuck him. He's a sexy tall, buff man with tanned skin and a sick scar across his face. He wore some amazing red and gold samurai armor while wielding a polesword.
He is being scary. Then he got scared cause I got aroused. Smiling at him like he's a delectable flower.
"Quit being a evil witch." Arms Dealer says angrily.
"May I ask your name, sir? I'm Kobra Withers." I say seductively.
He stares at me with fear.
"I am married." He says sternly.
"I don't believe you. Men don't stay married on the battlefield for long anyway. Three battles in, and you'll forget you have a family due to the trauma." I say seductively.
He glares at me while I smirk lovingly at him.
"I have never forgotten my family." He says angrily.
"How many kids do you specifically have? Both boys and girls." I ask warmly.
His jaw drops for a second. Then he gets mad at himself and me.
"Don't you dare insinuate I've forgotten my children. I don't have to explain myself to you, wench." Arms Dealer says angrily.
I clap my hands together. Suddenly my latest invention activates. I made a music box that plays a lovely seductive tune. Cheerful and loving.
"So are you here to discuss business? I am a blacksmith." I say warmly.
"I have my own store, why do I need your stuff? I actually need you to leave town." Arms Dealer says angrily.
"What if we negotiated about that over dinner? I'll make spaghetti." I say warmly.
"No, leave town you fucking crazy woman. You started a war two days. Get out of town." Arms Dealer says, amused and angry.
"Okay, but I don't have too. We're all anarchist here." I say with firm amusement.
"We actually have a society. I'm the leader of this town. `We're Communists. And I'm the leader of this Community." Arms Dealer says with firm anger.
"So what's your name, oh wise leader of Anarcho-Communism?" I ask warmly.
"Chun Vladimir." Chun Vladimir says sternly.
"So what if I just worked with the community? I'll share my goods." I say lovingly.
"Leave town. Terrorist." Chun says sternly.
I sigh sadly. I begin to build up my malice as I cover my hands in poisoned steel. And approach the enemy. With a smirk of sadness.
"Are you sure we can't just talk this out? I can be useful." I say with malefic grace.
They draw their weapons. I surge forward with great speed, easily outmatching them due to my martial prowess. I palm strike all of them in the throat, then backpedal until I'm back in front of them. Their throats are swollen and they are gasping for air.
I just watch them die. They don't know how to cure the poison.
Then a simulation bomb goes off as Chun Vladimir stares at me with desperation. He shows me he'll let his wife's brother be my husband if I don't murder him. And then I see the man owns my shop after that.
So I rudely stomp his skull in, rejecting that offer firmly. I feel a headache as a Oracle in my head dies. And a few paths in this town die cause of it. A shame, but life goes on. For me anyway.
During the night, all the Oracles hold a meeting in the middle of a field. In Simulation Land. It's a dream we all wake up in at the same time. As Characters. I am for some reason Bart Simpson from that tv show a thousand years in the future.
We are all characters from the future.
"I'm calling it out. You all also watched tv illegally using future sight? Admit it." I say with good humor.
We all laugh a bit. I did it cause I was bored of this century's books already. So I simulated myself watching tv in the year 2004.
There is a man who looks like Sephiroth from Final Fantasy 7. There's the Protagonist kid from Psychonauts. Spyro the Dragon with an eyepatch. A 1920s gangster version of Luigi from Super Mario.
And there is a very handsome Liu Bei, but from the videogame Dynasty Warriors. Who is incredibly handsome. As soon he notices I focus on him too long, everyone changes their form to stick figures.
I cross my arms, utterly offended. The former Liu Bei points angrily at me.
"Quit doing that form. It's distracting. Your cleavage is out." he says with firm anger.
I look down. I didn't notice I was Bart Simpson with breasts and my cleavage out in a floral t-shirt. I smirk and refuse. They all send malefic vibes at me, forcibly contorting my image with an illusion. Of a black stick figure bush.
"So are you all gay then?" I sneer with sarcastic rage.
They all flinch so hard I see their true forms for a moment. They're all attractive Asian men. Who are just in their pajamas, just like me. We're all wearing our night kimonos. Mine is blue silk with the star and moon on them. I see the Liu Bei one has a green one with the symbol of his dojo on his chest. A red sun with blades crossed in front of it.
Then we're all stick figures again. Even me. Except I have breasts and the small triangle skirt. We all just be mad at each other. Except me. I'm just annoyed.
"So what are we here to discuss?" I ask sternly.
"Quit stealing the women and men. We know you have an army." Dale Gribble says angrily.
That was the stick figure on the far left. Their original form had them wearing glasses, I think. In a gray kimono with a white sash.
"I do not have an army. I just have potential clients." I say warmly.
"Well, you ruined society with poisoned weapons. Why should we forgive you?" Liu Bei says angrily.
"What if I sold you guys some weapons?" I say warmly.
Liu Bei's mind cries out "SUCK MY DICK!" And I mentally reply "I'd consider it." Then they all glare. And point guns at each other while I laugh.
"That's my blowjob, don't take it!" Arms Dealer 3 says angrily.
"I don't even want it, I'm married!" Liu Bei says, defensively angry.
"Well then, I'm gonna pork her!" Psychonauts Protagonist says angrily.
"Look, I'm supposed to be seduced. Not just sold off like a whore. I stole this business to avoid that fate." I say with warm malice.
They all just glare at me. And the room fills with malice as I realize these men wanted a whore as soon as I offered a blowjob. All of them. Even Liu Bei.
The dream morphs into a killing field. All their men surrounding my blacksmith shop. I clap my hands together, smack the earth with a double palm strike, then thrust both my hands out to the sides hard. I will out a ultimate blast of Poison Chi. Extremely thick and powerful torrents of poison gas shoot out my hands, quickly covering the battlefield within minutes.
Then the dream ends. And I wake up with a rash on my fingers. Hmm. I think they sent evil vibes at me to poison my hands with a rash or something. Or maybe it's the poison steel I use affecting me at last.
Either way, I'm extremely annoyed with these men. They wouldn't even appreciate my spirit form or whatever that was. Opting for ugly stick figures because I found them to be pretty. Maddening.
I decide to explore the community, and confront these bastards.
It doesn't even work. It just shows how hated I am. Stores close down as I approach them. Then they have old people talk to me.
"Nobody wants to date you, go away." Old Preacher says sternly.
I cross my arms, and glare at him.
"Really? So that's how it is? They're all avoiding me now?" I ask angrily.
"Go away." Old Preacher says angrily.
I storm off. I wander town until I find somewhere that a rich person could live. A nice fortress. With handsome warriors on the wall. I wave at them. They smirk for a moment, then criminally ignore me. I resent that. Hard.
I decide to tease them into staring at me. By illegally posing on the grass across from their gate. Pulling my leggings up to show off my sex legs. And sunbathing on the grass.
Within 20 minutes, Artemis shows up. Angry and stern like a nun.
"Quit seducing the men, you whore." she says.
"They hate me though. I need them to be nice to me." I whine, sarcastically pitiful.
"They're all married." Artemis says angrily.
"We both know that statistically can't be true." I whine sarcastically.
She smirks, not wanting to laugh. Then stiffens up with anger once more.
"Kobra Withers. Go home before we evict you." Artemis says angrily.
"They already want to do that. I have to appease the town. Somehow. With like, love and stuff." I say nonchalantly.
I do a full circle with my right leg. Artemis smacks my leg halfway through it, trying not to laugh or get aroused.
"Stop it!" Artemis yells angrily.
She kicks me in the side. I block it with my elbow. I look up at her, smirking.
"Please don't do that. I'll give you a massage if you be nice." I say lovingly.
She cocks her fists, and I sigh sadly. I get up and walk away. Slowly. Sashaying with my ass as I do.
Artemis throws a rock at me.
"Quit being a whore! The men need to work!" Artemis yells angrily.
"Yeah, well I need a boyfriend or something." I say, confident and seductive.
I look at the wall. Some of them are staring with amused grins. I wave at them with a bright smile. They all turn away almost immediately.
"We're married!" Castle Wall Guard yells, angry and embarrassed.
"I don't believe that's true for all of you! Come by my store for a new armor set if you're in the mood for a new blacksmith!" I yell seductively.
"GET THE FUCK OUT!" Artemis yells furiously.
She throws lots of rocks at me as I run away. For three blocks. Cause she just doesn't stop chasing me across the village until I decide to embrace magic. And do an epic wind propelled leap over someone's house. And then keep running with superspeed using wind chi.