"Well, shall we begin?
"What? Everything's already in the description, so let's just get started...
"Are you kidding me?!
"No, but I'm about to.
"What about your face?
"I don't give a shit, remember? I'M DEAD, FUCK!!!
"You got me.
"Maybe you can explain yourself?
"To whom?
"To them! (points at you)
"Why the hell should I?!
"Of course! Have you forgotten where we are?
(God looks around)
"In the tavern called 'Grave Silence', what? This is my tavern, this is where I tell stories AND LISTEN TO STORIES.
"There! (raises his finger) Pour me a beer, I'm feeling shitty, and pour the guys some too.
"THAT'S FUCKING RIGHT!!!
(SOUND OF A CHAIN AXE BREAKING THROUGH A WALL)
"YOU HAVEN'T FINISHED MY STORY!!! - roared the dwarf with a fiery red beard and bright blue eyes. - WITH EVERYTHING!!!
"Quiet down, you little shit, or I'll shut you up for good!!!
"Haven't you forgotten about us?!" roared a guy with pale skin and bone armour in a necromancer's robe with no arms, and a centaur with two giant horns and demonic features.
"OH SHIT!!! HOW ANNOYING YOU ARE!!! LISTEN, LITTLE SHIT!!! GET OUT OF THE WAY!!! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE, I'LL FINISH EVERYTHING, but what are you doing here anyway?!
(The crowd looked at each other and, glaring at God, said)
"You forgot, you idiot! We're here drinking and discussing what and how! You allowed us to be here and even invited us!
"Me!!! Oh, never mind... Shut up, we're telling a story here...
"Don't forget about me!" said the rat man. "You deleted me altogether!!!
"I didn't delete you, I just removed you! And anyway, everything will be fine, stop whining!!! YOU ARE HEROES!!!
"Heroes... f*ckers..." I expressed my opinion.
(sound of hooves)
(sound of a blow)
(CRACK)
(BABAAAAA)
(5 MINUTES OF NORMAL FLIGHT)
(BLOW AGAINST THE WALL, BREAKING THROUGH THE CEILING)
"GIRLS, BEAT THEM UP!!!
(A crowd of naked girls started a fight, breaking furniture along the way
"THAT'S RIGHT, YOU IDIOTS!!! I'LL HAVE TO CLEAN UP AFTER YOU AGAIN!!!
(SOUND OF A SLAP)
(SQUEALING GIRLS)
(BROKEN GLASS)
(ANGRY SWEARING)
"OW!!! F*CK!!! YES!!!
"WOMAN, FIGHT!!!
"Well, this is going to take a while," said the strange innkeeper with starry eyes. "So, shall we begin our story from the very beginning?
"Let's do it," I said reluctantly, sipping what seemed to be unicorn urine.
"So how did it all start?
"Well...," I drawled. "You know, don't you? It all started when I died...
***
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