Chapter 8 — Don't Give Birth Anymore, the Uchiha Clan Can't Take It!
Normally, a jōnin instructor would test their students on the first day and send them on missions the next.
However… because of yesterday's culinary war crimes, Asuka was given a full day off. All three of his students were officially on sick leave.
Even with ninja vitality, they were still human after all.
So Asuka, carrying fruit, began his rounds of apology visits.
Iruka was the least injured.
His only problem was that his throat was shredded — so shredded he couldn't speak.
"Ah~ Ah~ Ah~"
Iruka tried desperately to talk.
Asuka set a big watermelon on the table and patted his student's shoulder.
"Iruka, don't force yourself. Rest your voice, stay in bed, and eat the watermelon your teacher brought you. It'll help."
Iruka stared blankly at the enormous watermelon, then at his overly caring instructor.
His thoughts were complex and difficult to describe.
He wanted to switch instructors…
but didn't know if it was too late.
"Alright, teacher needs to check on the others. Rest well."
With a flicker, Asuka vanished from the window and headed toward Uzuki Yugao's home.
She… currently had the worst case of diarrhea he'd ever caused.
Feeling guilty, he went straight to the fruit shop and bought the most expensive item there.
What he picked… was a durian.
--
Arriving at her house, Asuka frowned.
Freshly washed sheets were drying outside.
"…Is the diarrhea that bad?"
Bang bang bang!
He knocked.
"The door's open…"
A weak voice came from inside.
Asuka stepped into the tidy house and nodded approvingly.
Much cleaner than his own — at least she didn't live with a molting demon-cat.
He lingered at the entrance when no one came to greet him.
"Hello? I'm Uzuki Yugao's instructor. Uchiha Asuka."
"T-T-Teacher?!"
Yugao nearly jumped off the sofa, clutching her stomach as she stared at him in horror.
Why was he here?
With… a durian???
That bastard! Was he planning to feed her durian peels today!?
She swallowed nervously, tears welling.
"T-Teacher… why…?"
Asuka removed his shoes, placed the durian down, and bowed apologetically.
"I'm sorry. I locked up the fish oil vendor yesterday. I heard you weren't well, so I bought the most expensive fruit to visit you."
He patted the durian proudly.
He had never eaten one.
It looked terrifying.
It smelled worse.
Yugao's eye twitched.
She hated durian.
But seeing Asuka sit down and start peeling it…
She forced a polite smile.
"Thank you, teacher… but you didn't need to go this far…"
"You're welcome!"
He called her over and handed her a durian piece, all concern.
"I used to be a medical-nin. I know what's good for patients.
You're weak from diarrhea — this is perfect for you.
Try it."
Yugao avoided his gaze.
"Th-that's unnecessary—"
"Do you know the three rules Tsunade-sama set for medical-nin?"
Asuka suddenly got up and paced as he lectured.
"First rule:
A medical-nin never gives up treatment before a teammate dies — and the teammate must unconditionally accept the treatment.
We're a team now."
"Teacher, wait—"
Before she could finish, he flickered behind her.
Such a fast Body Flicker—!
"Ugh— Ugh—!"
Asuka shoved the durian into her mouth, then pinned her jaw shut with one hand while placing his other palm on her stomach — green medical chakra glowing.
He sighed.
"Yugao… do you know?
When I retired from the medical field, countless people opposed it.
Even Tsunade — that gambling old woman — packed her bags and ran back to Konoha after hearing the news.
She told me she'd lost millions because of me… and demanded compensation."
Yugao inhaled instinctively—
And the scent of gardenia flooded her lungs.
Not durian.
Not oil.
Not fish.
Just… gardenia.
Her brain went blank.
Was this…
the scent of a man?
It felt like inhaling her father's secondhand smoke — dizzying and strangely overwhelming.
She didn't even notice the durian anymore.
"Hey!"
Asuka waved a hand before her eyes.
"It can't be that bad, can it?"
"Huh?"
Yugao blinked blankly.
"I only covered your mouth so you wouldn't spit the durian out. My finances have been shrinking lately — I can't waste food."
Then he noticed something.
"But why were you licking my hand?"
Yugao froze.
Asuka stared at the moisture on his hand.
His expression changed.
He understood.
Back at the Academy, girls often swapped his lunch with their homemade meals.
He'd seen things.
He'd suffered things.
But this—
Even Jiraiya's books didn't go this far yet.
"I-I was just eating durian!" Yugao squeaked, face exploding red.
"I understand!" Asuka nodded sagely and patted her shoulder.
"Academy girls used to drip their saliva into my lunch too. That's why I stopped eating lunch entirely until graduation."
"…My condolences."
"Sigh."
He opened the window and left.
Even as a teacher, he was still being… pursued?
--
"Lord Asuka! The clan head is looking for you!"
A young man — slim, short hair, black clothing, a distinct rounded nose — blocked his path.
Uchiha Shisui.
Asuka stopped, noticing Itachi beside him.
He picked his nose.
"The clan head's son wets the bed. Why do you hang around with him so much?"
Itachi's face darkened instantly.
He silently pulled out a kunai.
"I'm going to train with Shisui."
THUMP!
A fist slammed onto his skull.
Itachi froze — brain shut down.
Asuka pressed glowing green chakra onto the bump.
"Did no one teach you?
You don't draw a kunai unless it's training, a mission, or war.
You're lucky it's me — anyone else would've confiscated it."
"Is it too late to teach him now?"
A cold woman's voice cut in.
Asuka's movements froze.
He slowly turned.
What he saw:
A round, gently swollen belly.
A brown apron.
A loose kimono.
Long black hair.
A terrifyingly calm smile.
Uchiha Mikoto.
It was the exact atmosphere of someone catching you beating their child.
Choices:
1. Apologize.
2. Refuse.
3. Beat the mother too.
After quick internal calculations, Asuka straightened, hands behind his back.
"Lady Mikoto, Itachi is the young heir. Exposure to all sorts of clan members builds tolerance.
When he becomes Hokage someday, he'll look back on this and understand.
Itachi… has Hokage potential."
Before Mikoto could process that, Asuka shoved Shisui and Itachi away in a hurry.
His gaze then fell… on her belly.
Sasuke was inside that belly.
Two genius sons.
Two disasters waiting to happen.
"Why are you staring at me like that?"
Mikoto quickly covered her stomach with her basket, uneasy.
Every time she'd been pregnant, Asuka stared at her stomach with anxiety — like she was carrying a monster.
"Lady Mikoto," Asuka sighed, walking past her.
"Your genes are exceptional. Both your sons are geniuses among geniuses."
He paused beside her, lowered his voice to a whisper only she could hear:
"But please… don't have another after this one."
"At your rate of one child every three years, the Uchiha can't survive it.
If Fugaku refuses contraception, I can arrange a tubal ligation for you.
I'm discreet… and very skilled.
Think of the future. Two sons are enough."
"…Huh?"
Mikoto froze, staring at his disappearing figure.
Then her eyes widened.
How did he know this one was a boy?!
Even the doctor said it was too early to tell.
How did he know?
Then her mind flashed back —
her first pregnancy,
her second pregnancy,
his anxious stares every time.
What was he worried about?
He was a clan genius — she had observed him long ago.
Piecing everything together…
Mikoto's eyes narrowed.
"…Does he also have eyes that can see the future?"