"I'll start!" Kiba jumped up, Akamaru barking on his head. "I'm Kiba Inuzuka! I like beef jerky and training with Akamaru! My dream is to be the Hokage!"
"I'm Naruto Uzumaki!" Naruto leaped onto his desk before Iruka could stop him. "I like ramen! And... uh... instant ramen! And my dream is to surpass all the Hokages and make everyone acknowledge me! Believe it!"
The class groaned. "Sit down, loser," someone muttered.
Kenji watched the sequence unfold. It was exactly like the show.
"I'm Sakura Haruno..." She glanced at Sasuke and squealed. "What I like is... giggle. My dream is..." Look at Sasuke, screech.
"I'm Sakura Haruno..." She glanced at Sasuke and squealed, her face turning pink. "What I like is... giggle. My dream is..." She buried her face in her hands, peeking at the Uchiha boy.
Iruka smiled nervously. "Okay... next?"
It was Sasuke's turn.
The room went quiet, but not out of fear. It was out of admiration. He was the Uchiha prodigy, the royalty of the class.
Sasuke stood up. He didn't have the cold, dead eyes of an avenger yet. Instead, he had the chin-lifted pride of a boy who knew he was better than everyone else, but still had a family to go home to.
"My name is Sasuke Uchiha," he said clearly. "I like training with my big brother and tomatoes. I dislike... people who get in my way."
He paused, a confident smirk touching his lips.
"My dream is to become a splendid ninja like my father, join the Konoha Military Police Force, and make my clan proud."
The girls swooned. "So cool!"
Kenji, however, felt a cold shiver run down his spine. He stared at the innocent, proud boy.
Oh god, Kenji thought, wincing internally. 'Make my clan proud'? 'Join the Police Force'? Kid, in about a year, the only thing left of your Police Force is going to be chalk outlines on the pavement. Your 'big brother' is currently sharpening his sword.
It was like watching a lamb talk about how excited it was for the upcoming barbecue festival.
I should probably be nice to him, Kenji mused. Before he turns into an emo terrorist.
"Excellent, Sasuke," Iruka praised, unaware of the impending genocide. "Next?"
It was Kenji's turn.
He stood up. The chair scraped loudly against the floor.
The class looked at him. Naruto looked at him. Sasuke even glanced over with a bored expression, clearly thinking Kenji was just another extra.
Kenji took a deep breath.
Remember the mission. Awkwardness Level 80%. I need to say something that makes Iruka question his career choice.
He looked Iruka dead in the eye. He maintained a serious, solemn expression, the kind a soldier wears before a suicide mission.
"My name is Kenji Sato," he said, his voice steady.
"I like... biology. Specifically, the anatomy of the female species."
Iruka blinked, his smile faltering. "Excuse me?"
Kenji didn't stop. He pressed his hand over his heart, looking past Iruka, gazing into a future only he could see.
"And my dream..." Kenji paused for dramatic effect, letting the silence hang heavy in the room. "My dream is to invent a Jutsu that prevents clothes from getting wet in the rain. Because nothing is sadder than wet fabric clinging to skin... wait, actually, that's not sad. That's art. The wet fabric sticking to the smooth skin. The curves of women are for the world to admire. It's an art. An art made by god himself."
He looked around the room, nodding sagely at the horrified faces of the girls.
"Yes. My dream is to preserve the artistic integrity of wet clothes. Thank you."
Kenji sat down.
Silence.
Absolute, suffocating silence.
A cricket chirped outside.
Naruto tilted his head, whispering loudly to Shikamaru. "Hey, what does 'artistic integrity' mean?"
Shikamaru opened one eye, looked at Kenji, whispered "He's sick in the head," and went back to sleep.
Sasuke frowned, scooting his chair an inch away from Kenji's direction.
Iruka stood frozen, his chalk hovering over the blackboard. He looked at Kenji. He looked at the other students. He looked at the door, wondering if he could still resign and go back to simple border patrol duty.
[DING!]
[Mission Update: The First Impression] [Awkwardness Level: 85%] [Mission Complete.]
[Reward: Transformation Jutsu (Henge) - Mastery: MAX has been delivered.]
Kenji let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. He ignored the looks of judgment burning into him from every angle.
Worth it, he thought, feeling the knowledge of the perfect Henge flood his brain. The chakra pathways for the jutsu burned themselves into his muscle memory. I am now a social pariah, but I am a social pariah with a Max-Level shapeshifting ability.
"A-Alright..." Iruka stammered, clearing his throat loudly and sweating. "Let's... let's move on. Next?"
As the next kid started talking, Kenji felt a tap on his shoulder.
He turned to see Shino Aburame, the bug user, staring at him through his dark sunglasses.
"Why... did you say that?" Shino asked in his monotone voice.
Kenji leaned in, whispering conspiratorially. "Shino, my friend. You have bugs living in your skin. I have trash living in my brain. We are both vessels of burden."
Shino paused, his bugs buzzing softly inside his jacket. "That makes... logical sense."
Great, Kenji thought. I've already confused the smartest guy in the class. We're off to a flying start.