Kenji stepped out of his apartment block, the morning sun hitting his face. The air in Konoha was fresh, smelling of pine and unearned optimism.
He adjusted the collar of his simple blue t-shirt. It was a hand-me-down from the orphanage, slightly faded, but clean. He didn't have the Uchiha high-collared shirts or the expensive mesh armor the clan kids wore. He looked like exactly what he was: an NPC. Background Character C.
"Alright," he muttered, starting the walk toward the Academy. "Time to go meet the cast."
The streets were bustling. Villagers were opening their shops, civilians were rushing to work, and ninjas flickered across the rooftops like energetic squirrels. It was a beautiful, vibrant village.
If you ignore the fact that the smiling old man selling masks is secretly a racist who hates the blonde kid, Kenji thought dryly.
As he approached the Academy, the crowd thickened. Parents were everywhere, holding their children's hands, giving last-minute advice like, "Don't stab yourself with the kunai," or "Make sure you make friends with a clan heir."
Kenji walked alone, his hands in his pockets. He felt a pang of envy, but he squashed it down. Parents meant supervision. Supervision meant he couldn't test if his 'Steal' skill worked on the Hokage's hat.
The red gates of the Ninja Academy loomed ahead. And there, amidst the sea of people, Kenji saw them. The main characters.
It was surreal. Seeing them in 1080p on a screen was one thing; seeing them as breathing, living people was another.
To his left, near the iconic lonely swing set, sat a small boy with blindingly yellow hair and an orange jumpsuit that was an affront to the very concept of stealth.
Naruto Uzumaki, Kenji noted. The boy was kicking his legs, pretending not to care that the other parents were steering their kids away from him like he was radioactive.
Look at him, Kenji thought, analyzing the protagonist. The infinite chakra battery. The chaotic good. The guy who will eventually talk-no-jutsu a god into committing suicide. Right now, though? He's just a lonely kid with a fashion sense designed by a colorblind clown.
Kenji considered walking over and saying hello, maybe securing an early friendship. But he stopped.
No. If I befriend him now, the Third Hokage's crystal ball will be fixed on me 24/7. I can't have the authorities watching when I unlock my more... questionable skills.
He turned his gaze elsewhere.
A few meters away, a pocket of high-pitched squealing formed a distinct ecosystem. In the center of it stood a boy with raven-black hair and a face that seemed permanently stuck in a setting of 'I am better than you.'
Sasuke Uchiha.
Kenji gritted his teeth. Look at that jawline. He's six! How does a six-year-old have that much brooding charisma? It's unfair. The Uchiha genes are basically cheat codes for picking up girls.
Sakura Haruno (forehead shining brightly in the sun) and Ino Yamanaka were already circling him, their rivalry igniting over who got to stand three inches closer to him.
Kenji snorted. Simps. All of them.
But then, Kenji's eyes drifted past the children. His gaze lowered, then adjusted, scanning the crowd of adults. His 'Anatomy Scan' skill tingled behind his retinas, eager to activate, but he held it back. He didn't want to pass out from a nosebleed before the ceremony started.
He saw Tsume Inuzuka, Kiba's mom. She was wild, fierce, with feral markings on her cheeks. A bit too aggressive for my taste, probably bites, Kenji mused.
Then he saw Yoshino Nara, Shikamaru's mother. She was berating her husband and son, who were both looking at the clouds with identical expressions of boredom. Strict. Domineering. The type who manages the finances and the bedroom.
Konoha truly has a deep heritage, Kenji nodded to himself with the wisdom of a sage. The Will of Fire is strong, but the Will of the MILF is stronger.
"Alright, students! Gather in the courtyard!"
A chunin instructor with a scar across his nose shouted over the din. The parents were ushered to the back, and the children were herded into rows in front of a raised podium.
Kenji shuffled into the crowd, finding a spot near the back. He ended up standing next to a chubby boy eating potato chips—Choji Akimichi—and a boy with a puppy on his head—Kiba Inuzuka.
"Man, this is gonna be boring," Kiba complained loudly. "I bet the Old Man talks for an hour."
"My dad said... munch... just don't fall asleep... crunch," Choji added.
Kenji stayed silent, his eyes fixed on the podium.
A hush fell over the courtyard as a figure in white robes stepped up. He wore a wide hat with the Kanji for 'Fire' on it, holding a pipe in his mouth.
Hiruzen Sarutobi. The Third Hokage. The Professor.
And the biggest closet pervert in the village, Kenji thought, a profound sense of respect welling up in his chest. The man who invented the Telescope Technique specifically to spy on bathhouses. He is my spiritual patriarch. If only he knew I had a System that could surpass him.
Hiruzen cleared his throat. The sound echoed across the yard.
"Young leaves of Konoha..." Hiruzen began, his voice raspy but grandfatherly. "Today, you take your first step onto the path of the Shinobi. The fire that burns within the village is passed to you..."
Kenji tuned out. It was the standard corporate orientation speech. We are family. Sacrifice is good. Work hard for the village (and low pay).
Instead, Kenji focused on the blue screen floating in his peripheral vision.
[Mission: The First Impression] [Time Remaining: 45 Minutes] [Target Awkwardness: 0/80%]
He scanned the rows of students. They were all listening intently (except Shikamaru, who was asleep standing up).
If I streak now, I get arrested, Kenji reasoned. If I yell a slur, I get expelled. I need to strike during the classroom introductions. That's the sweet spot. Just enough cringe to be memorable, not enough to get executed.
The speech dragged on. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Hiruzen finished.
"Now, you will be assigned to your homeroom teachers. They will guide you."
A man with a pineapple-ponytail and a scar across his nose—Iruka Umino—stepped forward holding a clipboard.
"Class 1-A! Follow me!"
Kenji fell in line. As he walked, he felt the heavy gaze of the System weighing on his soul. The penalty flashed in his mind: Moaning 'Harder, Daddy' every time he got hurt.
He shuddered. I have to do this. For my future. For my dignity.
They filed into a classroom with tiered seating. It smelled of chalk and wood polish. Kenji quickly grabbed a seat in the middle row. By some twist of fate—or plot convenience—he ended up sitting directly between Shino Aburame (the bug guy) and Hinata Hyuga.
Hinata was staring at her desk, twiddling her fingers, her face red. She looked like she was about to faint just from being in a room with this many people.
Cute, Kenji thought. But she's watching Naruto.
He leaned back, waiting. Iruka slammed a stack of papers on the desk.
"Alright everyone, settle down!" Iruka shouted, using his 'Big Head Jutsu' voice. The class quieted. "I am Iruka Umino, your homeroom teacher until you graduate. We're going to spend the next few years together, so let's start by getting to know each other."
Iruka smiled warmly. "I want everyone to stand up, say your name, what you like, and your dream for the future."
This is it, Kenji thought, his heart rate spiking. The classic anime introduction scene.