The only light in the room came from the dual monitors, casting a sickly blue glow over the piles of crushed energy drink cans and empty ramen bowls.
Alex was in the zone. Or rather, he was in the rage zone.
His fingers danced across the mechanical keyboard—clack-clack-clack—with the desperation of a man drowning. On the screen, the game Erosbound was running at 4K resolution. His party was currently getting decimated by Lilith, the Succubus Queen.
As far as boss designs went, the devs had clearly typed "Horny" into the concept art generator and hit enter until the machine broke. Lilith floated in the air, wearing "armor" that consisted of three strategically placed leather straps and a dream. Her massive chest defied gravity, physics, and common decency, heaving with every pixelated breath.
"Come on, you glitchy witch," Alex muttered, sweat beading on his forehead. "Die already!"
Lilith's health bar was flashing red. One percent. Maybe less.
Then, the camera zoomed in on her face. She gave a smirk that was equal parts seductive and infuriating.
[System: Lilith has activated 'Infernal Embrace']
"No. No, no, no!" Alex screamed.
Pink, semi-translucent tentacles erupted from Lilith's back. They bypassed the tank, ignored the DPS, and went straight for the party's healer—a holy saintess with a robe that was already struggling to contain her assets.
The tentacles wrapped around the healer. The animation that followed was definitely not something you'd show your grandmother. The healer's face flushed red, her eyes rolled back, and a suggestive moan played through Alex's expensive headset.
Alex leaned in, eyes wide. "Okay, the animation is top tier, I admit that... but the damage—!"
Crunch.
The healer's HP bar vanished. Then the tank's. Then Alex's character.
GAME OVER
The red letters mocked him.
Alex slammed his fist onto his desk, sending his mouse flying into a precarious stack of manga. "Are you kidding me?! The unskippable cutscene deals AoE damage? That is such bullshit!"
He ripped off his headset and threw it onto the bed. He had been grinding this boss for a month. He had the best gear. He had the best build. He had zero social life. And for what? To watch a tentacle hentai cutscene wipe his team at 1% health?
Fuming, he tabbed out of the game and opened the official Erosbound forums. His fingers flew across the keys, fueled by pure, unadulterated salt.
Thread Title: Devs, explain this broken succubus fight or I swear on your entire bloodline
He didn't hold back. He questioned the lead designer's intelligence, their balance team's sanity, and the morality of their mothers. He hit "Post" with a vindictive jab of his finger.
He refreshed the page three seconds later. Five replies already.
Xx_Slayer_xX: "Lmao bro is mad he got filtered by the tutorial boss."
SimpLord69: "Skill issue + cope + ratio."
TouchGrass: "Imagine raging over pixel tits. Go outside. Touch some grass"
"Oh, shut up!" Alex yelled at the screen, his face heating up. "You think I don't know it's pixel tits? That's the best kind!"
He was about to type a scathing reply involving the other users' lack of father figures when a notification pinged in the corner of his screen.
New EmailSender:[email protected]
Subject:We saw your post :)
Alex froze. That wasn't a bot reply. The smiley face was way too passive-aggressive.
"Wait... they actually read the rage threads?"
A shiver of unease crawled up his spine. Curiosity won out over common sense, and he clicked the email.
There was no header. No corporate logo. Just a single line of text glowing in the center of a black screen.
[You know the drill, don't you?]
Alex blinked. "Fuck...?"
The room spun. His monitor flickered. The words pulsed brighter, and then—
Everything went black.
****
Consciousness returned like a slow download on bad Wi-Fi.
Alex groaned, squeezing his eyes shut against a blinding light. He expected to see his popcorn ceiling. He expected the hum of his PC fans.
Instead, he heard birds. Cheerful, annoying, high-definition birds.
"Ugh... my head..."
He tried to push himself up, but his arms trembled like wet noodles. A sharp, stinging pain shot through his ribs, his back, and his legs. It felt like he'd been thrown down a flight of stairs and then used as a piñata.
He forced his eyes open.
Grass. Endless green grass. And above him, a sky so blue it looked fake.
"What the..."
He looked down at himself.
"AH!"
He scrambled backward—or tried to, but only managed a pathetic flop. He stared at his hands.
These weren't his hands. His hands were meaty, scarred from opening soda cans, and calloused from WASD keys. These hands were slender, pale, and manicured. They looked like the hands of a pianist, or someone who had never done a day of hard labor in their life.
He looked further down.
"Why am I wearing a grape?"
He was dressed in a suit that could only be described as a fashion crime. Purple velvet coat, frilly white cuffs, and gold embroidery that screamed 'I have money but zero taste.'
Panic started to set in.
"Okay, Alex. Breathe. You read about this. This is the part where you check your pockets."
He patted down the ridiculous velvet jacket. Empty. He checked the trousers. Empty.
"Robbed," he muttered. "Great. I get isekai'd and the first thing that happens is I get mugged in a field."
He tried to stand, but his legs were shaking so badly he looked like a newborn deer. The pain was real. This wasn't a dream.
The email, he realized with a jolt.
"Those sick bastards," Alex whispered, looking around the empty field. "They actually did it. They tossed me into the game."
But who was he? He has no clue about it.
Just as the existential dread started to peak, a voice cut through the air.
"Master? Master! Oh, thank the gods!"
Footsteps crunched rapidly on the grass. Alex turned his head, wincing at the stiffness in his neck.
Then, his jaw hit the floor.
A woman burst through the treeline. She was wearing a maid outfit but calling it a "uniform" was an insult to engineering. The black fabric skirt was scandalously short, fluttering dangerously high with every step promising panty flashes with every breeze. White thigh-high stockings squeezed onto legs that were thick, soft, and perfect.
But the real event was upstairs.
Her bodice was fighting a losing war against two massive, heaving realities. With every running step, they bounced with a mesmerizing, gelatinous rhythm that defied gravity and captured Alex's soul.
"M-Master!" she cried out, spotting him.
Master? Me?
She dove toward him, dropping to her knees and sliding the last few feet. The smell hit him instantly—vanilla, fresh laundry, and something incredibly sweet.
"I was so worried!" she gasped, her big green eyes shimmering with tears. "Were you with those guys from the academy again?! I told you not to engage them!"
She leaned over him.
Alex's brain flatlined.
Her cleavage was right there. A vast, milky valley of soft skin, hovering inches from his face. He could feel the heat radiating off her.
"I... uh... Academy?" Alex squeaked. His voice was higher than usual. Wimpy.
"Look at you!" She fretted, her hands roaming over his chest and shoulders to check for injuries. Her touch was frantic but gentle. "You're all bruised up! Did they take your wallet again? Oh, Master, you have to stop trying to buy their friendship!"
Ah. So that's the plot, Alex realized through the haze of hormones. I'm the rich loser who gets bullied.
"I'm... I'm okay," he lied, trying to look away from her chest and failing miserably. It was like staring into the sun—if the sun was made of soft marshmallows.
"You are not okay!" She sniffled, and then, without warning, she scooped him up into a hug.
"Mmph!"
Alex's face was buried.
It wasn't just a hug; it was an immersion. He was suffocating in the best possible way. Softness surrounded him. The world went dark, warm, and smelled like vanilla. He flailed his weak arms, his hands accidentally brushing against the side of a breast that felt like a water balloon filled with dreams.
"I'm so glad you're not hurt badly", she sobbed, squeezing him tighter.
Alex's vision started to spot. The blood rushed from his brain straight to his... nether regions.
Is this heaven? he thought, his consciousness fading rapidly. If this is the game over screen, I never want to respawn.
"Master? You're burning up!" The maid pulled back slightly, her face full of panic. "Don't die on me! We need to get you to the bath! I'll scrub you clean myself!"
Scrub... me... clean...
That was the finishing blow. The sheer concept was too much for his virgin gamer brain to process.
"Thank... you..." Alex whispered.
His eyes rolled back into his head. He slumped into her arms, passing out with a smile on his face.
Best. Isekai. Ever.