The Guild Master had shoved Sai Ji out of his office with the urgency of a man disposing of a live firework, thrusting the Unranked black card into his hand.
"Go. Pick a quest. Something harmless.
Something that won't trigger regional deity alarms or force me to file another catastrophic incident report."
Sai Ji muttered under his breath,
"I'm level one. How much trouble could I possibly get into?"
Fen and Lura exchanged a look of deep, veteran concern.
Statistically speaking? Sal Vera's soft, choked laugh echoed in his mind.
Given your history? All of it.
He ignored her. Mostly.
At the Quest Board.
The guild's quest board was chaos incarnate.
"Herb-gathering left?"
"Sewer rats! Who took them?"
"Move over, slime hunt for novice certification!"
Sai Ji pushed forward, eyes scanning for pure boredom.
Gather 5 Moonbuds — Difficulty: Easy
Escort Elderly Merchant Tobo — Difficulty: Trivial
Cull Young Wolves in Gloomy Forest — Difficulty: Easy
Clean Slime Accumulation in Guild Back Alley — Difficulty: Pathetic; Reward: 5 Silver
He reached for the slime-cleaning notice.
Another hand slammed down beside his.
The elite party leader—the scar-faced warrior woman—glared at him.
"We said we wouldn't fight you. We didn't say we wouldn't outbid you."
Her fury faltered as she took in his moonlit-handsome disguise. Slowly, defeat replaced rage.
"…Fine. The slimes are yours," she muttered.
Sai Ji plucked the quest. It glowed as it registered to his black card.
[QUEST ACCEPTED: GUILD BACK ALLEY SLIME CLEANUP]
Objective: Remove excess gelatinous organisms.
Reward: 5 Silver.
Note: Do not agitate the slimes.
Relief washed over him. Finally, something simple.
"Master," Fen whispered gravely. "We should make a battle plan."
"It's slimes," Sai Ji said.
"Exactly," Lura nodded. "We must account for… unpredictable jiggle physics."
He groaned.
The alley they traveled to was narrow, trash-strewn, and shadowed.
Slimes of every pastel hue wobbled aimlessly.
Sai Ji cracked his knuckles.
"Okay. Let's get this over with. I'll just… gently shoo them toward the grate—"
Every slime froze.
Their ocular organs swiveled toward him. Then:
PLOP. PLOP-PLOP-PLOP.
Dozens flattened in terror.
Some rolled in dizzy circles; one blue slime tried to become two-dimensional in a crack.
Oh my~ Sal Vera's delighted laughter chimed.
Even simple life remembers the chain of being. They know their Sovereign.
"No! DO NOT PROSTRATE YOURSELVES!" Sai Ji shouted.
Pink slime squeaked and tried to burrow under a cabbage.
Fen observed solemnly. "They acknowledge your supremacy, my liege."
Sai Ji roared. "I AM TRYING TO COMPLETE A MUNDANE QUEST!"
He stepped forward.
Instantly, the alley cleared.
Rainbow-hued chaos scattered across the streets.
Chime. Notification.
[QUEST UPDATED: SLIME CLEANUP]
Slimes Removed: 47/5
STATUS: OVERWHELMING SUCCESS
Reward: 5 Silver
Bonus: +1 Guild Reputation (Slimes Fear You)
New Title: Slime Sovereign
Effect: Non-hostile slimes flee from you; hostile slimes have 5% chance to surrender.
"…Why?" Sai Ji deadpanned.
"Historic, Master," Fen said.
"I. HATE. THIS. TITLE," Sai Ji groaned.
As he left, a young noblewoman blocked his path.
Pale blue silks, ornate armor knights, intense gaze.
"Are you… a hidden prince of the Northern Moon Dynasty?" she asked.
Sai Ji froze. "…The what?"
Her eyes lit up. "It's you! Concealed majesty!"
"I… am NOT!" he said.
Undeterred, she grabbed his wrist. "I am Lady Aeliana Nightblossom. I pledge to form a provisional party with Lord… Moonborn?"
"I'M SAI!"
"You shattered the Guild Classification Crystal."
"System error!"
"You carry an Unranked black card."
"Clerical mistake!"
"You cleared fifty slimes in ten seconds!"
"THEY RAN AWAY!"
One knight dropped to a knee. "Our blades are yours!"
Sai Ji groaned. "CAN ONE PERSON BE LEFT ALONE?!"
Fen: "Your version of normal, Master."
Lura: "Quite subdued."
Sal Vera: Your fate, my King. A lodestone for chaos.
Sai Ji: "Nope. Dungeon, here I come."
Aeliana intercepted him at the Combat Proficiency corridor again.
"Your true abilities are masked. I vow to uncover them!"
"I want to be left alone!"
"Nonsense! Talent must be evaluated!"
From across the hall: "Not every attractive newcomer is a national treasure!"
Inside, training dummies awaited. Sai Ji shook his head.
"No. Nothing good happens when I hit something."
Aeliana insisted. "Just a light tap."
He tapped.
BOOM.
The dummy exploded into ultra-fine oak dust, coating ten feet of hall.
Aeliana stood frozen. Her knights too. Fen and Lura whispered dry warnings.
"I told you," Sai Ji muttered.
Aeliana's eyes gleamed. "You're a hidden weapon. A sleeper asset!"
"I'm cleaning slimes for silver!"
"You're cursed!"
"You're a mortal vessel for a wrathful god!"
Fen and Lura: "Warmer."
"I WANT TO BE NORMAL!"
Aeliana clasped his dusty hands.
"You're mine. My party. My miracle!"
Guild Master bellowed: "LEAVE THE WALKING NATURAL DISASTER ALONE!"
Aeliana: "He's LEVEL ONE! A MIRACLE! DESTROYS DUMMIES!"
Sai Ji exhaled.
A single tear of frustration cut through the dust on his cheek.
Sal Vera: You are a system error. And the bug let's hope you don't destroy this land.