Back at the Guild – The Quest Board
Sai Ji stared at the beginner quest board. A monument to mundane desperation.
A paper of humble quests:
Collect 10 Rswww sDAMushrooms (Not the poisonous ones).
Escort Farmer Jeb's cow, Bessie, 200 meters. Bessie bites.
Scare away the territorial goose from the south gate. Goose is armed and morally flexible.
Deliver a letter to Old Man Garrow. He's deaf and suspicious.
Sai Ji groaned. "It's chores for people who've misplaced their dignity."
Nyx read like a scholar decoding ancient prophecy. "Pick up 15 Suitable Twigs for Kindling. Reward: one copper coin."
Aeliana squinted at another. "Assist in cleaning the Merchant's Quarter fountain. Reward: the satisfaction of a cleaner city."
"I just want one simple task," Sai Ji muttered, forehead thumping the wood. "One linear objective. No cosmic implications!"
Midnight Wolf appeared behind a pillar, vibrating with excitement. "Bro! Perfect F-rank initiation!" He jabbed at a slip.
F-Rank Quest: Retrieve Mama Mooloo's runaway Frosthorn calf, Buttercup. Last seen in the Spirit Woods. Reward: 3 copper coins & unlimited hugs (optional, but recommended).
Sai Ji blinked. "Unlimited… hugs?"
Midnight Wolf nodded solemnly. "Bro. These hugs? They've cured plagues. Realigned dwarves' spines. S-tier healing."
Nyx's lips twitched. "Master does respond to physical affirmations of safety."
Aeliana crossed her arms. "He gets enough from us."
"NOT ENOUGH FOR A SOVEREIGN!" Midnight Wolf shouted, flinging an arm dramatically.
Sai Ji sighed. "Fine. Baby cow. How hard can it be? Walk in, walk out. Zero-stakes pastoral interlude."
Nyx twitched. "Do not tempt narrative causality with 'how hard can it be.'"
A panicked voice shrieked from the guild entrance:
"HELP! BUTTERCUP—SPIRIT WOODS—NOW!"
Groans erupted. "Not the Woods… gods have mercy."
Sai Ji looked at the quest slip. "…Oh."
Midnight Wolf pumped his fist. "YES! Plot smells you, bro!"
The woods outside Frostfall weren't forest. They were thin places, where magic bled into reality.
Glowing puddles on moss.
Energy motes drifting. Ancient trees watching.
Sai Ji clutched the slip. "It's just a calf. A small, fuzzy, mooing thing."
Nyx corrected gently. "A Frosthorn calf. Cute. Fast. Temporarily ignores friction when startled."
Aeliana pointed.
White streak, ice crystals trailing, vanished into brush.
"Why does it run like it's fleeing captivity?" Sai Ji muttered.
Midnight Wolf whispered:
"Old Man Hemlock blesses the bloodline with… divine skittishness!"
Sai Ji pinched the bridge of his nose. "Why would a god make a cow… annoying?"
The chase descended into farce. Buttercup paused adorably, then blur!—ricochet off trees, boulders, spirit-wolves, never stopping.
Aeliana muttered. "…It understands tactical positioning."
Sai Ji sank to his knees. "IT KNOWS PARKOUR! THE COW KNOWS PARKOUR!"
Sal Vera cooed. "Admirable perseverance, my King."
Sai Ji shouted back. "I AM DISPLAYING PROFOUND REGRET!"
Silence fell. Glowing motes winked out.
Swish—THUNK.
A dagger, black as starless night, buried itself inches from Sai Ji's head.
Nyx was a shadow in front of him. Aeliana's sword whispered free. .
A figure emerged. Cloak of shadows, bone-white mask, killing intent radiating frost.
Sai Ji raised a placating hand. "Listen… it's just a cow—"
"Target identified: Sai Ji. Termination contract. No negotiation."
Sai Ji froze. "I… have a moldy apple!"
Nyx murmured: "Mistaken identity. Your conspicuous presentation didn't help."
Midnight Wolf whispered: "Bro… death clause included with your pretty privilege."
The assassin blinked. Then disappeared. Reappeared—dagger in hand.
Nyx met the threat. Blades appeared.
Sai Ji slipped on ice, grabbed a low branch… snapped it.
The branch flew. Hit Buttercup square on the rump.
MROO! The calf bolted—perfectly aimed—striking the assassin.
Sack of flour impact. Assassin cartwheeled, crashed, mask tok'd on the tree.
Buttercup trotted to Sai Ji, nudging his hand. "See? I helped."
Silence. Woods hum cautiously returned.
Nyx sheathed blades. "Technically… you won."
Aeliana checked the assassin. "Alive. Concussed. The calf was the projectile. You… improbable aiming mechanism."
Midnight Wolf screamed: "BRO! CRITICAL LUCK! YOU WEAPONIZED A COW!"
Sal Vera chuckled. "Bards will struggle to compose this one."
Buttercup followed them out like royalty granting audience.
Mama Mooloo erupted. Massive minotaur woman, polished horns, arms like stone pillars. Hugged Sai Ji so hard he almost popped.
"You brought her home!"
Coins clinked. Extra hugs included.
Next Morning – Guild Hall
Sai Ji wanted obscurity. He received mythology.
Dwarves, archers, sellswords—all pointing, whispering.
"He pacified the Frosthorn!"
"Used ancient beast-tongue!"
"Or a cursed prince!"
Sai Ji covered his ears. "I AM A PERSON!"
Nyx sipped cider. "Futile. You are a narrative event."
Aeliana sighed. "Rumor mills are deadlier than assassins."
Shade Ravenveil—the masked assassin—entered, escorted. Bowed.
"You… are gentleness incarnate. You rejected violence. Poetry."
Sai Ji: "…I slipped on ice. Cow accident."
Nyx muttered. "Delusion self-sustaining. Robust."
Aeliana: "He's going to adopt us, isn't he?"
Midnight Wolf scribbled furiously. "Gold. Pure gold."
Sai Ji marched to the board. His finger stabbed a slip.
"Potatoes. Bramblewood Farm. That's it. No magic. No monsters. No lineage. No talking animals. Perfectly boring."
Aeliana: "Three-hour walk. Peaceful."
Nyx: "Zero variables."
Midnight Wolf: "Chill vibe. Okay."
Sai Ji: "Yes. Chill. Normal. Boring."
Bramblewood Farm
Postcard-perfect valley. Snow-draped fields. Crunch of boots. Hawk cries. Sai Ji hefted the sack of potatoes.
"See? Calm. Normal. Nothing—"
Earth shivered. Deep, grinding roar. Mist wreathed peaks. Shadow moved. Winged. Vast. Descending.
Sai Ji's "normal" fantasy melted. He re-shouldered the sack.
"Alright," he said. "Deliver first. Then we see what the hell that is."