"We have to find him!"
Hinata shot out of Naruto's apartment, landing in the hallway with a dull thud.
"Who?! Your father?! I thought the plan was to avoid him!"
"Kiba!" she yelled over her shoulder, already running down the stairs. "We have to stop him before he tells anyone else!"
"Hinata, wait! I think he already told... the whole street!"
Naruto ran after her, leaping down the last five steps. "He's an Inuzuka! He runs faster than me! We're toast!"
"Then run faster!" Hinata's voice was high, tense, but full of a terrifying determination. "My life is on the line! Your... your execution!"
"Stop saying 'execution'!"
They burst onto the street. It was relatively empty, except for the small group of onlookers on the corner who were now scattering, muttering.
"Which way did he go?" Naruto panted.
"Akamaru!" Hinata said. "Think! Where would Kiba kun go to brag first?"
Naruto and Hinata stopped dead. They looked at each other.
"Barbecue!" they said in unison.
They ran for three blocks, dodging an old woman with shopping bags and leaping over a cabbage cart.
"There!" Naruto gasped, pointing.
There he was, outside "Yakiniku Q". Kiba was standing, arms wide, gesturing wildly. Akamaru was at his feet, chewing on a bone.
And sitting at the outdoor table, listening, were Shino Aburame and Choji Akimichi.
Naruto and Hinata hid behind the corner of a building, peeking out.
"...and then I open the closet!" Kiba was yelling, drawing the attention of passersby. "And BAM! There she is! Hinata! All dusty and red! And Naruto turns pale and yells, 'She's my fiancée!'"
Choji stopped chewing. "Fiancée? Like... getting married?"
Shino adjusted his glasses. "Kiba, that's impossible. Naruto wouldn't be able to get a girlfriend."
"It's true, I swear!" Kiba barked. "You owe me one, Shino, he did get a girlfriend before you! A thousand ryo! Pay up!"
"But why was she in the closet?" Choji asked. "Beef jerky is usually in the kitchen. Or in a bag."
"I don't know! Maybe they were playing...!"
Hinata didn't wait for him to finish the sentence.
She looked at Naruto, her lavender eyes shining with pure panic. "Naruto kun, distract them!"
"What?! How?! I'm not good at distractions!"
"I don't care! Do it!"
Naruto took a deep breath. "HEY!"
Kiba, Shino, and Choji turned around.
Naruto stepped out from behind the corner, frantically pointing at the ground at his feet. "LOOK! IS THAT... A FREE RAMEN COUPON?!"
Kiba rolled his eyes. "Naruto, that's..."
But Choji was already moving. "Where?! Free?!"
Choji bent down, searching the ground. Naruto, committed to the lie, also crouched. "Yeah, I saw it! It was shiny!"
Kiba's and Shino's eyes followed Choji.
It was all the time Hinata needed.
She stepped out from behind the corner, her feet barely making a sound.
Kiba turned. "Hinata? What are you doin...?"
Two fingers. Extended.
A precise strike to the nerve in the back of Kiba's neck.
"...gkk...!"
Kiba's eyes rolled back. He collapsed, falling face first onto the table.
Akamaru barked, confused.
Choji stood up. "...There's no coupon."
Shino adjusted his glasses, looking at Kiba's motionless body. "Interesting. You knocked him out."
Naruto stood up, sweating cold. "Ah! Yeah! That!"
Choji looked at Kiba. "He... he fainted. Did he choke on the meat?"
"Exactly!" Naruto said, too quickly. "He choked! No, wait! He's... tired! Yeah! From excitement! He gets really excited and gets tired! That's it!"
Hinata stood behind Kiba, trembling, but with her fingers still extended.
Naruto laughed nervously. "We'll... we'll take him to rest! You guys... keep eating! Barbecue! Good choice!"
He grabbed Kiba under one arm. Hinata, understanding, grabbed the other.
"Bye!"
"Wait," Shino said, his voice monotone. "Hinata, your hand... is in a Gentle Fist formation."
"It's... it's a cramp!" Hinata stammered.
"I see." Shino didn't seem convinced.
"Bye!" Naruto yelled.
They dragged Kiba's unconscious body around the corner, disappearing into the nearest alley.
Choji sat back down and took another strip of meat from the grill. "What was that?"
Shino stared into the alley. "I believe... we just witnessed a domestic dispute. And I believe Kiba lost the bet."
******
On the street, a younger Inuzuka boy, Kiba's cousin, who had been buying dog food, heard Kiba's initial shout from the street by Naruto's apartment.
He ran.
He arrived at the Inuzuka compound, panting. "Hey! You have to hear this! My cousin Kiba just caught Uzumaki Naruto with the Hyuga heiress!"
Another Inuzuka laughed. "Caught them? Doing what?"
"I don't know! But Kiba yelled they're getting married!"
The news spread quickly through the Inuzuka compound. In two minutes, it reached Tsume Inuzuka, who was brushing one of her ninken.
"Aunt Tsume! Kiba did it! He found Naruto with the Hyuga! They're getting married!"
Tsume burst out laughing, a harsh bark. "Hahaha! My idiot son! The demon boy and the Hyuga heiress? How ridiculous! That old Hiashi must be foaming at the mouth! I love it!"
Just then, Shibiha Aburame, Shino's mother, was passing by the main gate.
"Hey, Shibiha!" Tsume yelled. "Guess what? My Kiba says the Uzumaki kid is marrying the Hyuga heiress! The imagination on that kid! What nonsense!"
Shibiha Aburame stopped. Her sunglasses hid her eyes. "That is... an unlikely event."
The Aburame woman continued on her way, which took her right past the main gate of the Hyuga compound. She stopped and addressed the guard.
"Guard san. There is a rumor circulating. It involves Hinata sama and Naruto Uzumaki. The word 'marriage' was used."
The Hyuga guard stiffened. "Marriage?"
"So Tsume Inuzuka reports. She dismisses it as her son's joke. However, rumors can be... problematic. Consider this a notification."
"Understood."
The guard waited for the Aburame woman to leave and then turned to his partner.
"Report just came in. Rumor: Hinata sama and Uzumaki Naruto are getting married."
"What? Impossible! Hiashi sama would kill him!"
"Silence. Inform the servants to be on alert."
One of the servants, who was sweeping the nearby courtyard, heard the conversation. His eyes went wide. He dropped his broom and ran to the kitchens.
"Quick! There's news! I just heard the guards! Hinata sama... is marrying the Uzumaki boy!"
******
"Ouch! My neck! Hinata, you almost killed me!"
Kiba woke up coughing, spitting out dirty alley water. Naruto was standing over him, empty handed.
"I didn't have any water!" Naruto said defensively.
"What the hell is wrong with you guys? I'm on your side!" Kiba rubbed the back of his neck.
Hinata knelt in front of him, her face tight with panic and fury. "Kiba kun! You have to tell everyone it was a mistake!"
"A mistake?"
"A lie! A joke! Whatever! You have to take it back!"
"A joke?! A joke? Hinata, you were in his closet! In his apartment! And he yelled it! 'Fiancée'!" Kiba looked genuinely confused.
"IT WAS PANIC!" Naruto yelled, his voice high. "TOTAL PANIC! I thought you were going to kill me! Or that you were going to think... you know!"
"Me? Kill you? I thought I was going to congratulate you!" Kiba stared at him. "Panic...?"
Hinata took a deep breath, her face turning red. "Kiba kun... it was... an accident. Everything."
Naruto nodded vigorously. "Yeah! An accident! It started at the onsen!"
Kiba's eyes lit up. "The... onsen?! Oh! OH! So there were shenanigans! Nice one, Naruto!"
"NO!" Hinata shrieked. "He... he fell! From a tree! He was spying!"
"I was training! Stealth!" Naruto corrected.
"Training! Stealth! In the women's onsen!" Kiba nudged Naruto. "You're my hero! So what happened? Did she see you?"
"I... I fainted!"
"And I thought she was drowning!"
"And... and he took me... to his place... to... to recover!"
"And you were in bed! And... and you came in! And I hid her in the closet!"
"And I sneezed!"
"And I yelled 'fiancée'!"
There was a long silence in the alley. Kiba processed the information.
Naruto and Hinata watched him, holding their breath.
Kiba blinked. "Wow."
"Wow?" Naruto said.
"So... you fall from a tree... you knock her out... you kidnap her..."
"He didn't kidnap me!" Hinata insisted.
Kiba ignored her. "...you take her to your apartment... you hide her in the closet... and nothing happened?"
"NOTHING!" Naruto yelled, sounding almost offended.
Kiba's expression changed. The euphoria vanished. It was replaced by deep, profound disappointment.
"Oh... man."
"'Oh, man'?"
"What a shame. Seriously."
"SHAME?!" Naruto yelled. "I was almost ritually executed! Hinata was almost sealed! And you say 'what a shame'!"
"But, man!" Kiba slapped Naruto on the back, so hard it almost knocked him over. "What a waste! You had her in your apartment! In your bed! And you did nothing? Not even a little...?" Kiba wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.
"KIBA KUN!" Hinata's Byakugan activated.
"Of course not! It's Hinata!" Naruto said.
"Exactly! It's Hinata! Wow! And I was already planning the bachelor party! We were going to go to the Capital! The Pervy Sage would be so disappointed in you, Naruto! You failed at 'research'!"
"The Pervy Sage is the one who got me into this! With his stupid scroll!"
"The scroll? The legendary research scroll?! You have it?! You have to...!"
"Kiba kun."
Hinata's voice was dangerously quiet. Kiba turned. She was standing, fingers in an attack position. "Are you going to fix this... or would you prefer I hit you again? This time in the throat."
Kiba put his hands up, his smile vanishing. "Alright, alright! Calm down, heiress! So scary! I'll fix it! Jeez!"
"Promise!"
"I promise! I'll say it was a joke! What a letdown!" Kiba muttered to himself. "So I lost the bet with Shino?"
"KIBA!" Naruto and Hinata yelled.
"I'm going! You guys are so boring! You ruin all the fun!"
******
Inside the Hyuga Compound, a teenage Hanabi was in the training dojo, practicing her moves. She heard two maids whispering near the entrance.
"It's crazy... they're saying they're getting married. Hinata sama and the loud kid!"
"Married? Impossible! Hiashi sama would never allow it! It would be a disgrace!"
A third maid joined them, lowering her voice. "I heard... I heard he forced her."
The first maid gasped. "Forced her? To what?"
"To... you know. To get engaged. He cornered her in his apartment! They found her there!"
Hanabi stopped moving. Her hands froze in the middle of a kata.
"How horrible! So the demon boy forced Hinata sama to get engaged?"
Hanabi walked toward them, her sandals making a dull sound on the wood. "Hey."
The maids froze, their faces paling. "H... Hanabi sama..."
"What did you just say about my sister?" Her voice was cold, controlled.
"N... nothing! Just... street rumors!"
"Silence!"
Ko Hyuga, Hiashi's personal bodyguard, appeared in the hallway, his face severe.
"Shameful! Take this rumor to the elders, not the hallways! And you, back to your duties!"
The maids bowed and fled.
Ko turned to Hanabi. "Hanabi sama, this is not your concern."
"She's my sister!" Hanabi retorted. "And that idiot Uzumaki! Tell me what's going on, Ko!"
"My duty is to inform Hiashi sama and the council." Ko bowed and left, leaving Hanabi alone in the hall.
******
Ko Hyuga knelt in the elders' meeting room.
"Elders. The rumor has spread. It has mutated."
"Explain, Ko."
"The street version is 'marriage'. The internal version, among the servants, is 'forced'. Kiba Inuzuka was the source. Now reports from the gate confirm Kiba Inuzuka found them. She was in his apartment. Alone."
An elder choked. "Alone? In the Jinchuriki's residence?"
"This is... unacceptable," another muttered. "Kiba Inuzuka is not a reliable source, but... in his home?"
Ko continued. "The rumor among the guards is now that he kidnapped her..."
"Kidnapped!?"
"...dishonored her in his apartment... and now claims she is his fiancée to cover the act."
The silence in the room was total.
"This... this is a declaration of war," the head elder said. "Prepare an audience with Hiashi sama. Immediately."
*****
Kiba walked out of the alley, rubbing his neck. Akamaru barked and licked his face.
"HEY EVERYONE! LISTEN UP!" he yelled to the street, where Shino and Choji were still eating.
"What now?" Choji muttered.
"FALSE ALARM! It was a joke! A bad joke!"
Shino adjusted his glasses. "Which implies my hypothesis was correct. Kiba, you owe me a thousand ryo for the false bet."
"Shut up, Shino! Naruto is still a loser with no girlfriend! Hahaha! Nobody is marrying anybody! Shino, you don't owe me anything! In fact, you owe me ryo for the hit!"
Naruto and Hinata emerged from the alley, looking exhausted.
Naruto wiped the sweat from his forehead. "Phew. That... that was close. I could almost taste the execution!"
Hinata was shaking, but she managed a weak smile. "Y... yes. Thank you, Naruto kun. And... I'm sorry for hitting you so hard, Kiba kun."
"You owe me! My neck is going to be purple!" Kiba stretched. "Well, I'm off! Akamaru needs a walk! And I need meat to forget this disappointment!"
Kiba and Akamaru left. Shino and Choji followed them.
Naruto and Hinata were left alone on the street.
"Well..." Naruto said, letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding. "What a day, huh! But... all fixed! The rumor is dead!"
"Y... yes. Dead." Hinata looked like she was about to cry with relief.
"Great! Let's go to Ichiraku! I need to drown this panic in pork broth! My treat! It's the least I can do for... well, for everything!"
Hinata let out a small laugh. "Y... yes. Ramen... sounds good. But... can I get the extra large miso?"
"You can get two! Let's go!"
******
The silence was absolute.
Hiashi Hyuga was meditating. The clan elders were kneeling before him. Ko was kneeling behind them.
"Hiashi sama," the head elder said.
Hiashi opened his eyes.
"The rumor is confirmed."
"Confirmed?" His voice was flat.
"Kiba Inuzuka found them. She was... in the Jinchuriki's residence. Alone."
"That... demon boy."
"He has dishonored the main branch," another elder said. "The original 'marriage' rumor was a mockery. A cover up."
"No," the head elder said. "It's worse. Our informants on the street just reported. Kiba Inuzuka is now shouting it was a 'joke'. A 'false alarm'!"
Hiashi tensed.
The elder continued, his voice trembling with rage. "They are mocking us! The Jinchuriki kidnapped his daughter from the onsen, dishonored her in his home, and now... now he mocks us in the streets, yelling that he will take her as his wife and then calling it a 'joke'!"
Hanabi burst into the dojo. "Father! I just heard! It can't be true! Naruto Uzumaki is an idiot, but he's not a... a criminal! It's a mistake!"
"Silence, Hanabi!" Hiashi's voice was sharp. He stood up, casting his shadow over the elders. "You have trained well, but this is politics. It is not a crime against a person. It is an attack on the clan. His stupidity is his weapon. It is an insult."
"But it's Naruto! He...!"
"He has treated the heiress of the Main House like a... a street commoner!" Hiashi roared. "The clan's honor must be cleansed!"
Hiashi turned, his Byakugan activating, veins swelling around his temples. The tension in the room was immense.
"Ko."
"Hiashi sama!"
"Gather the main branch guards. Inform the council to assemble. We are going to the Hokage Tower."
"Father..." Hanabi whispered, terrified. "To ask for permission?"
Hiashi stared at her.
"No. To inform the Hokage that the Hyuga clan will be carrying out an execution."
Steam filled the stall.
********
Naruto loudly slurped a noodle.
"Ahhhhhh! So good!"
Hinata, sitting next to him, was smiling, eating her own bowl (an extra large miso).
"Told you!" Naruto said, his mouth full of noodles and broth. "There's nothing like a good bowl of ramen after almost dying! What a day! I'm glad it's all over!"
Hinata nodded, her smile genuine for the first time in hours. "Yes. Over."