Kaminari checked the map on his phone. "Stupid GPS. It should tell you when to take a right or left when you're in the MIDDLE OF THE WOODS!" He shouted out, getting squawks in reply. "Sorry Koda."
The boy nodded quietly, managing to ride a deer on the way there. Said deer apparently 'didn't like his scent' according to the boy's text (which was much easier than sign language, thank you for pointing it out Mina), So Kaminari was walking on foot.
It was nice to be with someone from class for the week, even if it was one of his classmates he didn't know that well. It was better than hanging out with Jiro at the moment. The girl was cool and all, but she could reach Bakugo levels of insufferableness in his opinion. "So why'd you pick the Pussycats?" He asked his mute classmate.
The boy began typing on his phone, and Kaminari got a buzz. "Telepath apparently works on Animals too. Wanted a way to help communicate. What about you?"
"They're coordinated and know how to work fast. They seem pretty smart." Kaminari began. "I thought maybe some of that intelligence could rub off on me, even if it's just a little. I'm tired of getting called an idiot all the time." Jiro, Bakugo, even his fellow dummy in the Bakusquad Mina all made fun of him.
Another buzz on his phone. "At the very least you can get your grades up. That way you won't have to take summer school." Too true man, too true. "Hang on, according to Betty we're almost to a building."
"... The Deer's name is Betty?" Kaminari raised an eyebrow.
"She told me her nephew's name was Bambi." What the fu..? "Complete coincidence too. I didn't believe it either."
"Next thing you know there's going to be a massive monster stalking the forest." He chuckled … until said monster came from behind a tree. "... I really hate today."
==
Death arms walked with the others through the street. "Now then, keep a keen eye out for anything suspicious. Remember, most fights take place inside, you never know what someone is going to do to hide out in public."
"On it." Earphone Jack, his latest intern kept her jacks close to the walls they passed by. She didn't give him crap and knew how to handle orders, so she was much better than his current company.
"So you're a glorified maid? You got a tutu to boot?" Cellophane held a camera as Maria held a slightly amused chuckle while Grape Juice carried Yu's groceries, laundry, and other assorted miscellaneous items.
"I mean, I had one lined up and ready for him.." Mount Lady didn't bother to hide the real reason she took Grape Juice on. "But then I saw the diaper he was wearing and thought he had enough shame already."
"It was a mistake. Mt Lady is a demon." Now that he is willing to agree. "So what, we just walk? Wait for something to happen? I thought Heroes just stayed in one place with phone lines."
"That's why agencies have so many offices and positions within them. There's entire floors dedicated to receiving phone calls and alerts for heroes to respond to." Kamui explained. "But if you truly wish to make a difference, you can't just wait for something dangerous to happen."
"Exactly." Death Arm agreed. "There's no telling what kind of creep lurks around the corner." They reached the intersection, turning the corner.
"I am Teruo Hazukashi!" A man in a trench coat shouted. "You think you can fire me on the grounds of one lost paper!?"
"Eh, he's not exactly lurking." Cellophane jokes. "What's the procedure for a crazy guy yelling in front of the building?"
"Let me double check." Yu took out a little hand book. "Section 66, article one, don't engage unless he starts making actual threats. Other than that just keep an eye on him."
"I have seen it, the philosophy of Destro!" Shit.
"How does that troublesome book keep getting spread?" Death Arms grumbled.
"Book?" The interns titled their heads.
"An Autobiogrophy of Destro, a famous villain who led a terrorist organization against quirk laws, had a life lesson about 'quirks being free' and said that darwinism rained supreme." Kamui grumbled.
"A blasphemous heathen then. The most deplorable low life one could encounter." Maria raised her hair.
"Are you mad because of his view of life or because he believes in evolution, which quirks genuinely are a part of?" Grape Juice asked with a raised eyebrow.
"I detest him because he worships a villain to the level of a deity, a false messiah."
"That's fair." Earphone Jack looked at him. "So if he has that book in mind, does that mean-"
"Let me show you all my power that can dominate all others! The power of shame!" And the trench coat dropped … to a naked body. Ah, so he was literally powered by shame. Might be a bit harder to bash in than the usual D lister.
"MY EYES!" Earphone Jack fell to the ground, holding her head.
"Hey hot stuff! You look pretty cute." Yu decided to flirt, the woman had no shame.
"Oh...re-really? I've been trying to work out more but.." The man was stopped by a single punch from Kamui.
"And that's how you use sex appeal for the greater good." Mt. Lady smirked.
"Finally, some useful information." Grape Juice muttered.
"I'm gonna feel dirty tapping him up." Cellophane grumbled.
"I CAN NEVER UNSEE THAT!"
"So lewd. Engaging in the sins of lust..but it helped save lives...could I do the same for my angel...would it be so wrong to show.." Maria's face went red as her body shook nervously
Death arms stared at them all before looking at his companions. "The prude is my problem, you deal with the rest of this madness."
==
Bakugo walked into the fashion store. Looked about the same as his mothers, if a bit more upscale. Normally he wouldn't be caught dead in a place like this, but Best Jeanist was the fourth top pro, and if Dodger was trained by number one, he needed every advantage he could get to catch up to the gap. He would never settle for less.
"Katsuki Bakugo, i've been waiting for you." The man stood next to a mannequin that looked like a perfect photo copy of himself. It was kinda creepy how they even got the suit details down pat. "I'm assuming you picked my agency because I was the highest ranked pro amongst your offers?"
"Damn right. I'm not going to bother with no name extras that'll just be a waste of time to acknowledge." Best Jeanist clicked his tongue.
"And that is exactly the problem. The violent act, the aggression, the rage, the lack of respect." Get to the point. "That's what we're going to work on here." … What? "That explosive rage?" The hair on his replica manikin was trimmed down until it was flat and smooth. "Gone." Fuck.
"To hell with this shit. I'm not sticking around unless you teach me something worth.." He headed to the door, only to be restrained by several thin threads. His palms were closed as well so he couldn't use his explosions at all.
"That's funny … has UA taught you nothing about ironclad contracts, such as singing away yourself for the next two weeks?" … He made a horrible mistake.
==
Hagakure listened as Manual talked. "I'm glad you came. Here we try to be as normal and casual as possible. Isn't that right Jimmy?"
"Not my name!" The big headed shaped guy whose hair looked kind of like a chocolate ice cream swirl yelled out. "It's James Issac.."
"No one's going to use your full name around here, so just get used to it." Manuel chuckled. "Intelligence type quirk. Effective for paperwork, not so much for communication."
"So this is what a hero's office is like." Hagakure looked around. "Was it like this at your brother's place?" She tried to bring in a light memory.
"It was...similar to a point." Iida slowly responded. "It has comparable operations, except it was five times bigger and held up to two hundred employees." Way to show your humbleness, brainiac.
"I see..I'm sorry, I can't help but ask why you choose my agency of all places?" Even Manuel caught on to Iida's obvious ploy. "We're in Hosu, this is where Ingenium last fought…"
"I wanted someplace down low, with the common hero. I've spent so long with Ingenium and his largely grown business from the inside, but I've never seen someone on active patrols." His currently most logical counter, something she didn't buy.
Neither did Iruma-kun … or at least completely. He asked her to follow because he was worried Iida would be alone, and she would stick to that request to the grave. Now that the pieces were together, she painted a particularly dark picture. Not one she argued with, heavens no. In the same circumstance, she would have no problem doing the exact same thing.
But Iruma-kun trusted her to keep Iida steady, so she would do everything she could to stop this moron from killing himself. "Same here. I thought something simple would be better, not much people can do for a quirk that's always active."
"Don't worry, I can teach you both some skills you can use in the field that'll match anyone." Aww, such a nice guy. Too bad they were both gonna ditch him the moment his back was turned.
==
Momo smiled as she walked in with fellow president, Kendo. "I can't believe we both chose to work with Uwabami. I'm glad a fellow Class Representative is able to join me on this venture. I hope we can work well together."
"Same, maybe we'll be able to get Monoma to drop the rivalry bs he's always spouting." Both of them laughed, knowing that'll never happen. "Why'd you pick this place? I figured she has enough field experience and knows how to handle battles out in public without too much collateral."
"She was the best choice, I didn't get too many offers." Yaoyarozu explained. "I was really hoping to impress her and gain any skills I could to improve myself."
"Ah, I get it. You have one of the most versatile quirks I've ever seen. Shouldn't be too much of a problem for you." Yes...that...that should've sounded more complementary to her..but it just rubbed her the wrong way on the inside.
"You're very versatile too, offense and defensive options." She smiled back, now meeting the hero face to face.
"Glad to see both my options made it, what luck I have." Uwabami smiled at them. It filled her heart to hear that the woman only sent two offers, both of which were taken.
"We're honored to be here." Momo smiled brightly. "So what's first? Paperwork, training, patrol?" So many possibilities were open here.
"We're going to do something a bit more fun. Head into the dressing room, you'll both find dresses that should fit you both perfectly."...What was that? "The make-up team should be there shortly. Drink plenty of water too, we're going to be under the headlights of the stage for a few hours."
Dresses...Make-up...stage….They weren't here to hone their skills as heroes, were they?"
"Um … could you explain the subject at hand?" Kendo asked, small hope in her voice.
"Pro Heroes don't make a lot of money, so we have to have plenty of side jobs." Momo didn't care about those side jobs, she was fine enough. "So I picked the two cutest girls of the first years to help brand, show you how showing off works."
She was chosen for her looks … for her looks … for her body … Why was she a hero?
==
Tsuyu pressed harder on the mop, getting rid of the grime made by seagulls so close to shore. It wasn't the most pleasant experience she ever had, but she wouldn't complain. Everybody had their start somewhere, the best she could do at the moment was stay patient and trust that Selkie knew what he was doing.
It wasn't terrible at all really. There was plenty of water around, so she was in her comfort zone. Occasionally she could take a dip and refresh herself before getting back to her duties. "How's the cute new hand on deck doing?" And now she was being hugged by her senior
"Pretty good, I'm just working until we get the command to stop, you know? Ribbit." She croaked. "It's pretty peaceful out here. Doesn't look like the place where villains would lurk around."
"Oh you'd be surprised. There's tons of illegal trafficking that happens overseas that needs to be stopped, and the ocean tends to bring out some crazy characters from time to time. You should've seen the Man-Ray villain with the orb of confusion. We stopped him because the device affected him for being the closest in range."
"The closest I've ever seen to guys fighting overseas are the planet-" Selkie grabbed her mouth.
"Never … utter … that name. It brings nothing but chaos."
"Right, never mention Cap P. or Gaia around here. There's bad blood between them."
"He lectured three year olds on never having more than two kids or else they'll bring overpopulation! I can deal with crazy, not stupid."
"Sir." A sailor ran up to them. "We got another 'demon' drowning. Another escapee from 'Levialon'."
"Again?" Selkie questioned. "That's the fifth time in two months. We really need to find wherever that place is and shut it down. What kind of academy drowns their students?" Holy shit, that place sounded fucking insane! … unless they had aqua quirks, in which case, fairly acceptable.
==
Tokoyami made his way into the door, found the number three hero type on his phone, cooked a meal, and read the newspaper simultaneously. Despite all this he responded as if he wasn't busy at all. "So then, you showed up, perfect. We get to be bird bros."
Five seconds in and the student was already starting to have doubts about this. "I hope I can learn much from you, Hawks-sensei." Tokoyami just hoped the young pro was just being friendly, the last thing he needed to hear after the latest contract summon was learning he was chosen to be part of a gimmick.
"Just Hawks will do, I'm not too big on formal titles. I laughed enough with that Suzuki kid adding sama." So that's why he got an offer. "Now then, you've got an interesting quirk, but you have a complete lack of self usage, all i've seen if you shoot him out."
"All the work and none of the credit, it's the worst I tell ya." His companion in the darkness answered. "I'm a sentient shadow monster that feels the need to attack whoever's near."
"Exactly, which is why we're gonna fix that." His teacher tossed him a small device, strange looking. "That's a flash grenade. If he starts to get rowdy, just pull the pin."
"Wowowow, overkill!!" His companion screamed.
"Nope, that would be the UV beam of radioactive light I'm carrying in my pocket just in case." The pro was prepared. Tokoyami would give him that. "Now try to keep up. If you're lucky, you might just see me take a few villains out if you're fast enough." The man flew off north, and it took ten seconds for the student to realize the man was being serious.
"He does know we can't fly right?" He asked his partner.
"He'll pick us up, right?" As dark shadow finished his sentence, a beeping drew them to a very suspicious timer.
"What the.." He questioned before the device flashed and went off. "Why did it do that!?"
"Look, there's a note on the grenade." Dark Shadow pointed out. "Everytime you're more than twenty feet away, the timer will flash until you close the gap."
"If I wanted to look at annoying lights, I would've hung around Aoyama or Ronove." He was never going to use that contract even if his life depended on it.
==
Tetsutetsu sparkled as he met the guy who made it far in the tournament. "You're Kirishima … So cool!" He shouted. "You're like, the most manly guy I know other than Suzuki!"
"That's super manly of you to admit! Your quirk is amazing too! We need to compare! Man to man!" The man in front of him was amazing even in confidence!
"That's awesome, are you thinking what i'm thinking?"
"Only if it's what I think it is!"
"ARM WRESTLE!" Fuck yes, they were so in sync.
"SHUT UP!" Fourth Kind hit them on the head at the same time, and it was only by activating their quirks at the last minute that they escaped being pounded into the ground. "Look, normally I don't take on interns as young as you two, but you're the only ones I can hit around here without getting in trouble, so I'm taking this as a once in a lifetime opportunity to beat my teachings into ya both."
"Heroes really have a lot of legal issues, don't they?" Kirishima asked with a raised eyebrow.
"The more clout you have the easier it is. You wouldn't believe what they let Miriko get away with."
"Oof, that doesn't sound good. I hope she takes it easy on Iruma just a little." Kirishima said with a bit of pity in his voice.
The man began laughing like he heard a funny joke … then looked at the kids face. "Oh, you're serious." An awkward silence took hold before Fourth Kind coughed into his hand. "Right then, lets get you both on your first task." So cool! "Community service." So shitty!
==
Iruma brought the dish into the bedroom. "Done, sorry it took a while, I was trying to find some leaves to add in but there's no trees nearby here."
Rabbit looked at him funny, like he was joking. She's been laughing alot since he started his internship. Wish he knew what it was he was saying that made her happy. "So, not that I'm complaining, but exactly WHERE did you learn how to cook?" She stopped laughing and looked a little more serious.
"In the woods." He smiled. "It's pretty easy, you just have to take anything edible, mix it in hot water, and bam. A nice stew." It was one of his most enjoyed meals, especially when he managed to find mushrooms that didn't make the trees turn upside down.
"Right." She looked at him a bit disbelievingly, before taking a spoonful of his dish, and spat it out. "Okay, two things we've learned today. Your punches are shit and your soups taste like piss. Seriously, this isn't cooking, it's just a cobbled bowl of random crap you mixed together."
"Isn't that what cooking is?"
"Of course it isn't, dumbass!" She had the same problem with words that Bakugo had. "Here, let me see the pot." She got up and looked at the stove. "What the...you didn't even chop the carrots!? And the water...you didn't stir the pot at all! How can the flavors mix if you don't stir it all up?"
"But I did stir, I just told you that." He retorted, a bit angry. He always stirred when he cooked food … except for the chicken … "Hold on a second." He leaned back. Sure, One For All felt like fire cooking himself, but it also felt like blowing up a balloon at times. Like water, so maybe ...
"Hello...little idiot that I made my intern...are you still there?" She waved her hand in front of his face. "Also making me question my decision to make an offer to you…"
"I get it now...it's all so clear...I'm not a chicken! I'm a bowl of soup!" It just made perfect sense!
Rabbit-sama blinked and tilted her head. "I thought you were durable enough to not get a concussion from my kick … then again you got a minor one from that engine guy."
"It's how my quirk works! Long story short, I imagine my power like I'm cooking chicken. When I break my arms, I'm overcooking the chicken piece by piece!" He was getting so excited, he finally understood this confusing power perfectly for the first time in his life. "I just need to channel a decent amount of it everywhere so I don't need to concentrate." A small scoop of soup … stir and mix … and there!
"Wow kid … you're sparking." Rabbit-sama gave him a feral grin. "Like, literally, you're sparkling all over."
"Thanks!" He felt the soup being stirred all over, being even cooked in every corner of his body. His skin was glowing white as blue streaks of lightning now covered his head to toe. "I got it! I think I can move without breaking myself all the time now!"
"Great! Let's get started with level 1!" Level what now? "Dodge some simple attacks."