\|/ Turn 41, dark
I think Mik will pull through.
I didn't sleep a lot last dark. I tended to the fire, though it was warm enough to survive without it. I was rereading my entire journal which felt more like a confession than a journal. Ever since I landed, I've snapped so many times.
And for the first time, it feels painfully clear. Like waking from a dream.
Because "Life is a dream, isn't it?".
What a stupid quote from a stupid book. I really didn't think that my own insanity would have me referencing literature, but here I am.
Reading my own notes, I realized the loop I kept going through. Inaction, desperate determination, suffering. I can't say that I'll get out of it, but at least I see it for what it is…
I'll write about the rest of the turn now; I just had to get that off my thorns.
I fell asleep some time before first light next to Mik. Mik was passive most of the time, occasionally waking for a few moments.
I woke up when I heard weird sounds from next to me.
"Mik…?" I asked groggily, not opening my eyes. I was still half asleep.
The noise continued until I actually woke up.
I looked at Mik who was in its cloak next to me. Mik was staring back at me.
It kept hissing something.
"Muuh"
I snapped awake, realizing Mik is actually comprehending me.
I sat and faced Mik, getting closer to it.
"Mik, what is it?"
"Muuhh. Maaah"
"Mik?"
"Maaaay"
It was trying to hiss my name. I can't describe how happy I was that Mik was at least partially lucid.
"It's me, Mik. I'm here. I won't leave you again. I promise." I blurted out in a string of hisses. I was trying to comfort, apologize and wake Mik up at the same time. It was probably the least understandable I could've been.
Mik managed to twitch his right hand towards me the slightest bit. I put my tail in it. Mik held it.
"I'm here. I'm here…" I kept repeating, beginning to cry. I decided to envelop it, like it had when I was crying.
It wheezed from the process, like it immediately ran out of breath. I quickly pulled back.
"Oh my Suns I'm so sorry Mik I didn't want to move your arm" I blurted out, unsure on what to do. I had completely forgotten about its arm.
Mik's hand let go of my tail and started going towards its cloak.
After a moment I realized.
Mik wants to give me my journal.
I quickly took it from the ground next to us and showed Mik. Its arm stopped and fell back down to its lap.
I quickly flipped the pages and went to where it wrote for me, recording the turns. I tapped it and bared my teeth like never before.
"I know you wrote. I know. I'm so honored." I continued babbling.
I really am bad at this. Mik dropping my head was less embarrassing when it got excited.
Mik looked at the journal and started bringing its arm up to show me something. I put the journal in its lap and put its right hand on the journal.
Mik then, slowly, with a shaking arm that still barely had any air taste, pointed to "funi lizard".
Really?
Mik went through all of that effort just to point to how I am "funi".
"Are you kidding me, Mik?" I asked, deadpan.
It managed to wheeze out a laugh once.
This alien…
Oh, right, it doesn't know speech, just written text. I remembered. I had been talking to Mik so much, but to Mik it was just more things it didn't understand. I felt like a moron when I realized that.
I took the journal and brought it in front of Mik. I pointed to "find food". I couldn't know how much Varanth script Mik knew, but I used what I was certain it knows.
"I'll find some food, Mik. I'll be back. Ok?" I said, still speaking to no one.
It put its hand on my tailtip for a moment It understood what I was trying to convey.
I ran out of the tent, ready to find something to feed Mik.
I then remembered my spear and ran back into the tent.
I need to stop forgetting the only thing I need for hunting when trying to find food…
After getting my spear I ran out again, ready to find or hunt something. I hoped it wouldn't be like last turn, where I couldn't find anything edible in the overgrown world.
The air tasted less overwhelming. My brain had muted the thousands of different tastes in the air.
I decided to head towards the water spring again. If the brown beings from last turn were there, I could actually catch them with my spear.
I didn't like the feeling of holding my spear again. It was partially black, a lot of the shadow still clinging onto the spear, but I couldn't improvise anything else. I tried to avoid holding where the shadow's long dried blood was, but the slick feeling in my hand was constant. I thought about using Mik's hatchet, but that felt deeply wrong. I decided against it for the time being.
I went through the underbrush. Me crashing through it last turn meant that a barely traversable path was cleared, but it was still hard to get through. The melodic singing in the air taunted me, like some perfect world, while I was having to save Mik after my own failed suicide.
After a bit I got to the water spring. I slowed down as I approached it, not wanting to alert the beings to my presence.
I snuck up to the edge of the water. I could see the same brown beings swimming through it again, making some noises while they were in the water.
I prepared myself, aimed as best as I could and hurled the spear with my right arm.
I missed completely.
It hit the ground next to the spring, alerting them and making them fly away.
Damn it, I thought that would be easier…
I went to the spear, which was sticking out of the ground, and tried to pick it up. The spear was embedded in some mud next to the water spring.
I struggled to pull it out. My left arm felt incredibly uncomfortable as I tried to pry it out of the ground.
When I finally managed to get it out, I snapped the end of it off.
I took a look at the now extremely useless spear.
What followed were a few spans of cursing life, the Suns and the spear. When I calmed down, I made my way back to the tent.
How in the Suns did I kill the shadow?
My incompetence while sane was horrible. Maybe it was better that I went mad while hunting it…
Probably not.The permanent disfigurement was not worth it… I thought while looking at my arm. It had not gotten better since brumation.
I got back to the tent and went inside. Mik was sleeping again. I put the broken spear next to it.
"I'm sorry, I'll have to borrow your hatchet." I whispered to Mik. I grabbed the hatchet and made my way back out. It was a bit past midlight now, the lighttime having increased a lot since the "snow" death.
The hatchet felt uncomfortably heavy in my right arm and holding it felt wrong. It was Mik's, it had always been Mik's. And now I was taking it because I was too careless with something Mik had made for me.
I can't lose this. It's the only thing Mik has from its ship…
I thought about places to find any kind of fruit or animal. I remembered the lake. It was my next best bet, since animals gravitate towards water. I didn't want to go there. It's where the shadow… I hated the fact that I had to go back to the lake.
This time, I can't get lost.
I made my way in the general direction of the lake. I fought with the underbrush, having to cut through leaves and vines. This time, I left a mark every few trees, swinging the hatchet to make a line to remind me where to go. This made me move much, much slower, but at least I wouldn't get lost immediately.
As I continued, I found increasingly absurd plants.
On the branches above me I saw a white plant wrapped around the branches of some trees. I noticed that the smaller leaves were like the one that was around my arm when I woke up from the coma.
Great, Mik had covered my infected arm with a parasite…
Though, did Mik really manage to climb that high just to get something to help me?
I was internally impressed with what Mik had done to take care of me. Now, I had to return the favor.
Then, some of the bushes in my way started reacting to my presence.
As I approached and swung the hatchet at a bush in my way, the moment the hatchet impacted the leaves they moved away.
I fell forwards from my momentum, falling into more mud.
"Uhhh, what was that?"
The bush had cleared a perfect path for me.
I stood up and inspected them. When I went to touch one of the leaves it moved away again.
Is it… aware?
I couldn't wrap my head around it. It kept moving away from me, seemingly aware of my presence.
I started laughing.
"Sure! Why not! The plants are acting like animals! Why wouldn't one more definition of existence be rewritten in front of my very eyes!" I hissed to the forest, somewhere between delirious and excited.
Right, Mik. Ignore the sentient plants.
I continued making my way towards the lake, but it was taking too long. It took me almost an entire dark when I was going back with the shadow, and that was with guidance from Mik's fire.
I noticed the dwarf started setting. I had to turn back.
When I turned around to start making my way back, I realized that the bush had closed again in the meantime.
"BOO!"
The bush immediately opened up, forming a perfect semicircle from where I had yelled.
I chuckled a bit. If anything, this was far more entertaining than being stuck in a tent, even if I was scaring plants like an idiot.
On the way back I looked around again to try and find anything even remotely edible. I only saw flowers, but at one point, I did find what looked like fruit.
Up, on a tall tree, there was something round and brown tinted. From what I could gather, it had a slightly sweet taste in the air with a hint of bitterness.
Of course it's on a tall tree. Everyone here has wings except for me and Mik.
I went to the bottom of the tree and put Mik's hatchet next to the base. I tried wrapping myself around the base and climbing up that way, but I was way too small for that.
Then, I tried embedding my claws into the bark of the tree. The feeling was disgusting, with some kind of weird, slippery sap getting under my clawtips and in my scales. After about half a length I slipped off and fell on my back.
"ughhhhhhhhh" I groaned, staring at the unreachable fruit.
I thought of more ways to climb it. After a bit, I thought of an idea.
I took Mik's hatchet and swung it into the tree. It embedded itself nicely.
This is going to be horrible.
I grabbed the hatchet with my right hand and used it to pull myself up. I went to grab a branch with my left hand…
The moment it went above shoulder height the shocking pain returned. It was overwhelming, and I immediately let go and fell back down, mercifully landing on my feet that time.
I took a few breaths and looked up. Those fruits were the only thing I found, and Mik's life was on the line. I didn't want to risk Mik not eating for another turn. Who knows how long it takes for something warm like Mik to degrade.
I grabbed the hatchet with my right hand again, summoning all the courage I could muster. I brought my left arm above shoulder level again. The piercing pain returned.
I wailed in pain as I grabbed onto the branch. My entire left arm was shaking, with pain going all the way into my left shoulder.
I took the hatchet as fast as I could and pried it off with my right arm. I swung it around and embedded it higher. I let go of my left arm, hanging from the hatchet from my right. The piercing pain had spread to the left side of my body like a cancerous growth.
It would have been better amputated. I thought grimly.
After a few moments of hanging, with my right arm getting tired, I grabbed another tree branch with my left and repeated the process.
The climb up was pure agony. I had to do this whole process about five times before I was at the fruits. I tried to hold on with my tail as much as possible, but it was not meant for that, and it felt like my spine was getting stretched and pulled taut when I embedded my tail thorns into bark. I couldn't focus on the taste of the air or hearing anymore, my vision was blurring, the piercing pain overwhelming all other senses.
When I finally got to the fruits I sat down on a larger branch that could hold my weight. I bent over the side and puked from all of the pain. It was mostly water.
I should just fall on my neck.
…
No, no. No more of those thoughts. I won't allow myself to think those thoughts anymore.
After I took a moment to breathe, I took one of the large fruits into my hand. The fruit was surprisingly hard on the outside, but it felt squishy I put pressure on it. The paradox was confusing.
I tasted the air near it a few times. I couldn't tell if it was poisonous, but if it was a large fruit, it had to be for animals, right?
I threw it down to test if it would shatter on impact.
Surprisingly, it didn't. The fruit bounced once and stopped.
There were about four more of these fruits around me. I plucked them, hanging dangerously with my tail wrapped around the branch as best it could be (which meant not even half a loop, just barely curved). Thornkin tails weren't meant for this purpose, but mine provided the least bit of stability. I could only imagine how useful a prehensile tail like a Scalari's would be in this situation. They were meant to live in forests after all…
One of the fruits landed into my barf from the side.
OF course... I'll have to eat that one.
I took a look around from my viewpoint. Unfortunately, it wasn't like in shows where the character would see the entire world open up to them. I just saw more leaves, most of them in very close proximity.
I sighed and planned my trip downwards. I could try and use my legs more for the way down, embedding them in the bark. Of course, I could slip and fall on my neck as well, and death was near guaranteed from the height, but I was feeling so exhausted from the pain that it didn't sound too bad if that happened.
Or paralysis.
That thought scared me. I didn't want to die slowly.
I embedded the hatchet in the tree again and started climbing downwards. I could actually keep my left arm below shoulder height, since I wasn't going up.
I mimicked the process like the way up, but in reverse and with using my legs more. The slippery sap covered all of my claws at this point, except for my right hand that was holding onto the hatchet for dear life.
"AH!"
I lost my grip with my left arm and legs. I dangled from the hatchet, almost accidentally letting go.
Using the momentum, I instinctively swung my tail around and partially laid it upon a branch. That gave me enough room to grab another branch with my left arm and to embed my feet in the tree.
I guess I am better at surviving than I thought it was.
Despite the high praise to myself, I was surprised I had done that. It felt… automatic. Like when you're about to fall when walking downstairs and you grab the railing without thinking.
I managed to make my way down to the ground without further incident. It was getting very dark, however, with the red dwarf having set. I didn't see any bioluminescent moss, so I picked up the fruits (including the barf one) and started running towards the tent.
There was utter silence as well. The singing that had been going on the entire light had stopped. Something made it stop.
I used the marks I had made to run back as fast as I possibly could. I didn't want to know why the singing had stopped.
When I got to the familiar clearing, I struggled to find the tent. The bushes growing around it and my leaf insulation layer meant it was nearly perfectly camouflaged, and I had a high risk of accidentally impaling myself on a spike. I almost got lost before I saw the tiniest bit of white from the parachutes underneath. I ran inside, exhausted and half tortured to death.
Mik was unmoving, sleeping. I quickly put the fruits down, five in total, and set up the campfire with some branches.
After lighting the fire, I took another look at the fruits. The taste was the same, except for the one partially covered in puke. That one had a vile taste in the air.
How do we even eat them?
I tried embedding my claws into one and prying. I didn't manage to pierce the weird shell-like structure.
I took Mik's hatchet again and hit it. The hatchet got stuck halfway in, but it managed to pierce it. I pried it open with the hatchet.
The inside of the fruit had an extremely unusual fleshy structure. It was a dark yellow color with white spots. It had an overwhelming bitter taste in the air.
Guess I have to test it…
I took a fistful of the flesh and closed my eyes, trying not to taste the air. I put it in my mouth.
The bitter sensation was immediately overwhelming. I gagged and almost spat it out, but I forced myself to eat it. The chewy texture stuck to my teeth and the sides of my mouth, coating it.
It was extremely disgusting.
But it was also the only food that I had.
I took a moment to recover before taking the fruit to Mik and feeding it. It wasn't responsive again, just swallowing after I helped it chew a few times. I envied Mik for not having to taste it. At least it wasn't shaking anymore.
After feeding Mik, I took another one and pried it open, feeding Mik just a little bit more. I was still afraid of the shock to its system if it ate too much food, and I felt full after eating almost a full fruit, so Mik is probably fed enough.
There are three fruits left, one of them being the barf one. I don't feel sick yet, though the taste and the coating in my mouth feel horrible. Mik hasn't woken yet, and I'm utterly exhausted. My left side is still tingling from the climbing. I left Mik's hatchet on the ground on its side and am lying next to Mik now.
I pray I find something more palatable tomorrow. I'm not sure whether starving is better than eating this.