\|/ Turn 40, dark
Mik is alive, but barely. I fed it about a mark ago, and it's still staring into a wall of the tent. I wasn't even expecting to wake up from what I see in my journal, let alone see Mik… dilapidated. I'll write everything that happened.
On what I think was turn 39 I started stirring slowly. I don't remember much, just that my dreams started… fading. It was like an alarm infiltrating your dream, but it was silent. My sensations slowly started returning to me.
I remember feeling warmth first. My sleep continued to fade until I started hearing sounds. I remember hearing Mik's labored breath and some weird, melodic noises from outside. I wasn't able to process the noise yet.
I couldn't open my eyes, but I could move my fingers a bit. I couldn't move the fingers on my left hand.
Over that dark I gained more senses and more control. It wasn't like waking on the ship when SILT wanted to congratulate my hatchday. That was much faster, since SILT warmed the ship up in moments. No, this was gradual, which actually felt more natural, surprisingly.
The early light of turn 40 came, and I was able to open my eyes. Despite the light being faint, it felt blinding. I had to squint for quite a while before my eyes adjusted enough for me to actually see. I slowly started getting up, lethargic and unable to think straight. I was still processing my dreams during brumation. Reality didn't feel real when I woke up.
If only it wasn't.
I was staring at the ceiling of the tent when I opened my eyes. I tasted the air and was utterly overwhelmed with thousands of tastes. It felt impossible after the singular taste of the white water that consumed all.
I slowly sat up. The world was still spinning. I slowly regained my senses in my body. My stomach was painfully empty, to the point of not feeling hunger anymore. For the first time in my life, I felt dehydrated, something I didn't even know Thornkin could feel. The pocket where I kept my journal felt too light. I was struggling to remember what happened before I went into brumation.
Across the tent I saw Mik. Everything was extremely fuzzy and disorienting, but I recognized its vague shape.
I started crawling over to it. I felt my left arm protesting weight being put on it. I was still barely registering pain at that point, so I powered through it.
I crawled over the campfire. Black soot clung to my hands and legs, but I didn't care. I had complete tunnel vision on Mik.
Why didn't it come to me? What happened before I fell asleep?
I got to Mik and sat on my knees for a moment. Mik was not reacting to my presence next to it.
I managed to force myself to focus and take a proper look at Mik.
Mik was sitting, leaning on the tent. But it barely looked like it. Mik's face was barely recognizable.
"mik…?" I croaked out.
The parts around the mouth that were usually puffed up were bent inwards impossibly. Its neck was half as thick as I remembered it being. Its eyes were closed, but the sockets looked hollow. Its head growth had thinned dramatically.
I looked down. It was still wearing its cloak. I moved it away to see the rest of the body.
It still had its worn clothes on from before the crash, but they looked too large for Mik's stature. Its shoulders were barely there.
Mik's left arm was still in the splint, but the splint was now too large for it. In its right hand it held my journal. It was still open.
I took the journal to maybe understand what happened. I hoped Mik drew something to show whether it had some disease or some parasite.
I flipped to the last written page only to see Varanth script.
It learned Varanth script while I was out?!
I skimmed through the text to see what happened. I saw the entire process of learning. And of decay.
"Finding food, small, turn 37"
"Too weak move, turn 39"
I took a moment to process what I read.
Mik had last eaten "small" on turn 37.
Mik wasn't dying from illness. It was starving to death.
If it wasn't already dead.
I closed the journal and put it on the ground, turning my attention to Mik again.
"Mik?"
I started shaking Mik by the shoulders. They were smaller than my hands.
"Mik wake up!" I hissed while coughing. My voice was still hoarse.
"MIK!!"
It finally woke up.
But what woke up wasn't Mik. It was a husk.
"Mik, do you hear me?"
Mik was looking through me, to some point behind me.
"Hello? Mik??"
I grabbed Mik by the head and moved it, so it was looking at me. I felt its face shaking.
Mik's finally focused on me. It started laughing.
"What happened? Why was I asleep? When did you learn how to write?!"
It just continued chuckling, wheezing between laughs. It brought up a shaking hand and touched the tip of my snout while laughing.
Has Mik gone insane?
I shook it some more to get it to focus.
"Come on Mik don't go crazy on me, please."
Mik didn't respond. It stopped laughing after a few more moments and fell asleep again.
I took its right arm and brought it to my head. I still felt its heart.
The air still tasted like thousands of tastes. There were many different things I could differentiate, but I couldn't taste Mik in the air, despite being in physical contact with it.
Mik needs food, now.
I finally got to action, leaving Mik's arm to rest in its lap and putting the cloak around it again. I got up and started heading outside.
I felt complete determination to help Mik. I couldn't remember what happened before I went to sleep, but I remembered the white landscape with only death. I wouldn't let Mik die, not before me.
I went to the tent entrance and went outside, expecting to find the white water.
Only to find the world more alive than ever.
After adjusting to the light again I saw what was making all of those tastes in the air.
Tau was blooming with life, somehow, as if a cataclysm hadn't ended it all. I looked around in shock. The tent itself had some kind of vine growing on the leaves in the outside layer. The sticks Mik had put in the ground as defenses were overgrowing with flowers. There were new, yellow shrubs in very close leaning on the tent with their own flowers in so many colors. Trees were blooming in their own rainbows. It looked like the world had started anew, quicker than ever before.
The sight was overwhelming.
How?
"How?" I asked the air.
Everything was dead.
But it wasn't. The world looked more plentiful than when we crashed.
Was I dreaming it all?
Was I dreaming the white water? Was I asleep when my arm got sick and I've just woken up?
I stood there, marveling at the assault of colors and tastes.
Then I remembered Mik, who was still dying in the tent.
I quickly refocused my attention to find any type of food. Anything that looked edible. The berries would be perfect, but I couldn't taste them in the air.
I searched the bushes around the tent but only found flowers. I couldn't be sure if Mik could process that.
Find any food. Anything.
I started instinctively going towards the water spring. I was still utterly dehydrated, but I was too scatterbrained to think about where to actually go for food.
I struggled to get through the bushes and weeds on the way to the water. The world was too alive. Everything grew in what used to be a relatively clear path. The red dwarf was even blotted out by the tall trees. A constant melodic noise was there, made by some being I couldn't see.
It was warm outside. Warm. Still not enough for me to want to take off my cloak, but at least as warm as it was just after the crash. The warmth made me question whether the white death was just a dream again.
I continued stumbling through the thick underbrush, trying to find food that seemed even remotely edible in a world teeming with life.
Then, I got to the water spring.
It was just as I remembered it but also overgrown. Inside the water were new animals I didn't recognize before. They were about half my size and quite dull looking, their cloaks a brownish color. They had four wings and small heads. I couldn't see their legs because they were swimming in the water. There were about three of them in total.
Should've brought my spear…
I felt like an idiot for not bringing my spear when searching for something to eat. I decided on a desperate attempt.
I dove at the new animals, arms open, hoping to catch one. It went horribly.
They didn't notice me immediately. As I was hurtling through the air, they started noticing me, but they didn't have time to escape.
That is until I crashed into a bunch of shoots I didn't notice in my jump.
My right shoulder and tail got caught on the shoots. I tumbled backwards while snapping the thin plants.
The beings took flight as I crashed into the water on my back.
"ow" I said in the water, out of breath and aching.
As I was taking a moment, staring into the sky, I absorbed water and finally stopped feeling like I would shrivel up. I finally saw what was making that melodic noise.
Up in the trees, barely visible, were small green beings, not too dissimilar to the swimmers I just tried to pounce on, making that noise. They were somehow… singing, through the chitinous snouts.
Mating calls?
I understood that some beings used noise for mating calls, but I never heard music being used as such. It was oddly beautiful and peaceful.
…
Mik!
I got completely sidetracked and remembered what I was there for. I quickly stood up, looking around the spring for food.
Then I saw the shoots I snapped. They were leaking something green and oddly salty tasting. The shoots themselves were a dark orange with what looked like segmented lines.
I went over to one of the fallen ones and tasted the air up close. It smelled like salt and a bit of sugar.
I don't have much of a choice…
I licked the bottom once.
It was a combination of salty and sweet I never considered before. It seemed edible enough.
Caution be damned…
I took the shoot, snapped a few others (though it was much more difficult with a half functioning left arm) and put them under my arms, rushing to the tent.
After a bit I got to the tent, following my own path of carnage through nature.
Midlight had passed by then, and I felt as if time was running out.
I entered the tent and immediately went to Mik. I felt its arm and felt the heartbeat. It was still alive.
I moved my journal to the side and put the shoots down. I took a shoot and brought it to Mik's mouth, squeezing the end of it.
The sap (I think) went in, and after a bit Mik swallowed. Thank the Suns it has that reflex.
I continued this for a bit, manically feeding Mik.
Wait, what if I overfeed it?
I stopped about halfway through the shoots. I remembered that if you feed a starving Scale too much their system enters shock. What if that applied to Mik?
I'll stop here, for now…
I decided to split the remaining half. I left a quarter for later and a quarter for myself.
Seeing Mik was still breathing, I went next to it and drank more sap myself. I was starving, but I hadn't decayed. My sleep made me take much less to function. Suns know what Mik was doing in the meantime.
After my own less than savory meal, I went outside and gathered some branches. There was wood everywhere from all the shrubs and new trees (even more trees started growing), so that wasn't a problem. The dwarf had almost set at that point.
I went inside with the branches. I placed them in the spot for the campfire, adding the leftover used shoots. Then, I needed to figure out how to actually light the fire.
I went to Mik and grabbed its hatchet from the improvised holder.
Sorry, I'll give it back soon.
Then I took the rock it had used that was placed close to the fire in my left hand.
I took a look at the hatchet. It was mostly a combination of metals, with the back of it now thoroughly scraped from all the times Mik had used sparks to create a fire.
I placed it over the wood and hit it with the rock.
However, due to my sick left arm, I missed completely and hit myself on the right forearm.
"Ow!!"
Thoroughly annoyed, I switched what I was holding so that my left arm was holding the hatchet on the ground, while my right was holding the rock. My left arm was shaking from the weight and felt overwhelmed, but it would endure.
I hit the rock against the hatchet once. Twice. Thrice.
Mik makes this look way too easy. I grumbled mentally.
On the fifth attempt it worked. A spark was there, and a tiny fire started.
I moved the hatchet and rock away and blew into the fire. It started and then erupted. The shoots were extremely flammable.
"Woah!" I quickly moved my snout so it wouldn't get burnt. I wasn't expecting the shoots to be fire starters.
The fire was there. The first one I had ever made.
I took the hatchet and placed it near Mik. It wouldn't be able to use it, but it might feel some comfort from the tool…
After checking Mik again, I took my journal and decided to figure out what had happened. The last thing I remembered was the white water and healing, but that's it.
I first read what Mik had written again. I was skimming the first time.
I was… asleep, barely breathing. Brumation?
I smiled when I saw "funi lizard".
I hope 'lizard' isn't some type of slur, but at least I'm funny…
So the teeth bearing is 'smiling'? I guess it's useful to know the proper name of the weird ritual.
It calls brumation 'hibernation sleep'? Does it have something similar to Scale?
Snow melt… Mik has a name for the white death.
…
So, I wasn't imagining the planet dying. It all really did happen.
"Maya wanted me to eat"
What?
"Not monster."
What did Mik mean by 'eat'?
The last turn was too heartbreaking to read. I concluded it was turn 40 now, because by the look of it, Mik wouldn't be alive much more in this state.
I looked over to Mik again next to me, it was still breathing.
What happened? What did I do?
I flipped through my journal. I skimmed the text. I remembered turns from when I woke up, unmoving, up to turn 31. I started reading turn 31 and was just horrified.
"I get to die happy", "Life is a dream, isn't it", "It's over"?!
What the actual fuck
I didn't remember any of the maddened notes I made that turn. I didn't remember drawing my own damn cannibalism.
Suns, what did I do?
I couldn't wrap my head around it. The last sentence meant for Mik was the worst.
"Everything will be fine." I read out loud to myself.
I wrote SILT's final words, meant for Mik, as the end of what is a suicide letter.
I couldn't comprehend what I had done, let alone how I repressed it like nothing had happened. Had I not written to my journal that turn I wouldn't know what was happening now, and Mik would have had to explain to me that I essentially tried to commit suicide.
I put the journal down and tried to calm myself.
It's dark now. Mik is in a state of being half awake. I'm sitting next to it, and it sleeps, then wakes up, stares at the wall and then sleeps again. It drank the rest of the sap I stored up.
I still can't wrap my head around turn 31. I'm not sure if it was a break in sanity or something else.
I am not going to leave Mik anytime soon.