Ahh, the woods behind my old highschool.
Many more cigarettes were smoked back in these trees. Actually, Anna and I smoked our first joint out here too, after I flirted with a few forest nymphs and charmed them into sharing their weed with us. And that whole thing about sitting in a tree together and me confessing my platonic love for her was on Homecoming night, after we and a few of the other Demis set the dumpster behind the cafeteria on fire. Good times, good times.
"Shit, who was that with?" I wonder to myself as I duck through a few bushes. "Shalise actually started the fire. I think Enid made it worse. And then I struck the whole shit with lightning. Larissa was there, judging us hard. Uhh. Damn, I think there were a couple of the guys there too."
I never paid much attention to boys so I can't remember for the life of me, not like it matters. Men are so played out. It's time for xenogender comic book heroes and otherkin surgeons saving the day. Now that shit would be fresh.
"Why is this where my brain goes?" I sigh and look around the shadowy and kinda spooky trees. "Gotta focus. Anna needs me. So… Yeah, it's this way."
Soon enough, I find the tree. It's a bigass oak with some of its branches really low to the ground, which makes perfect seats for chilling out with the homies and [WEBNOVEL CENSOR: DRUG USE]. The gnarled bark is carved up like a [WEBNOVEL CENSOR: HEINOUS JOKE ABOUT SERIAL KILLERS AND SEX WORKERS], covered in marks and hearts and dicks and initials and whatever else. The nymph of this tree is totally cool with it. I met her a few times, way back. She's big into body mods and loves the free work, however shitty.
"Right about… there. Boom."
N+A
In a heart. Anna did that.
"Aw. Man… She loves me too…"
"Sure does," someone says behind me.
I whirl around and come face to face with a breathtakingly beautiful hamadryad, with gorgeous brown skin touched here and there by growths of bark and moss, and absolutely covered in darker markings of all kinds, like tattoos. Her hair is all oak leaves in orange and yellow and pale green, matching the late autumn forest all around, and her clothing is a simple sundress made of woven grass and reeds.
"Can't really question it, can you?" she asks with a grin, lifting her arm and showing me the same N+A inside a heart on the top of her wrist. "That girl still loves you. Why do you think she sent you here to me?"
"Holy shit, it's… you!" I gasp, fumbling for a name. Name, name, name, come on, what's her name? I should know her name! "Fuck, I'm terrible with names. Sorry, girl."
"That's okay. I don't remember yours either. But I recognize you enough to know you're this N, right here. And Anna was this A, right beside you. It's been a while, hasn't it?"
"Gods, don't remind me. Do you still smoke?"
"Does an acorn ever fall far from the tree?"
"Nice. I don't have any money though…"
"No need. The anthusae are mid harvest."
Five minutes later, we're sharing a [WEBNOVEL CENSOR: DRUG USE] and lounging in her branches, shooting the shit and bitching about life and the weather and the youths of today and whatever else.
"And like…" I trail off, puffing rings. "They just… It was straight up insulting. You know? Like… Really? Fuck is that? Do–Do people think… Like, do people think I'm a bitch or something?"
"Babe, you're backwards," she snickers from the branch just above me, legs dangling like the leaves. "It's not about you. Not at all. Those girls were just amateurs. Clearly. They weren't prepared. Those sirens… did not do their homework."
"Gods, you were always the worst about making us do our homework."
"It's important to study! Learning is good!"
"Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, babe." I laugh a little, checking her out. Damn. Those legs are nice. "Hey, did you, um. Did you… Wait. The gnomes. The gnomes, the gnomes. Why the gnomes? Why am I thinking about the gnomes?"
"Oh yeah, the gnomes. Heh. Idiots. Right, right, they–they were the… Shit, were they number three or number four? Wait, no, I'm number four. Right?"
"Girl, what the hell are you talking about?"
"Well, it was the scytale, the sphinx riddle, the gnomes, then–Yeah, then me. I'm number four. Your girl asked me to… Um. Um." She pauses, kicking her feet. "Fuck, this is good stuff. Pfft. What was I saying?"
We both laugh and I remind her, "The gnomes, beautiful. The gnomes."
"Oh yeah. Hah. Uhh. Yeah, so they were… They sent you to me, right? And then I'm supposed to do something. Like, to make sure it's you. Shit, what was it she wanted me to do? Uhhh… Damn, it's not coming to me."
"I mean, I could help you come to me."
"Huh?" She tilts over the branch and looks down at me. "What'd you say?"
"I could help you come."
"Oh. Come? Come where? No, babe, I'm not–I'm not going anywhere. It's way too late for that. I am in for the night."
"Right, and I'm saying I–I wanna be in too. In you."
"Me? In my what?"
"I wanna be in you."
"What, like, a hollow? Nah, I don't have a hollow. Sorry. My trunk is solid. Heheh…"
"Oh my Gods, this shit has me so high I can't remember how to flirt. Miss Hamadryad, I–Would you–No, wait. Wait. Yes, I should start with an I statement. That way it's just me expressing my desires, without making them your responsibility to attend to. Uh, yes, Miss Hamadryad, I would like very much to–to–to have… sex. I would like to have sex with you. And then–"
She starts laughing. "I'm sorry! I was not expecting you to be so straightforward! That's just really funny to me! Sorry to interrupt, keep going!"
I crack a grin. She's so cute. "And then I would direct a clearer offer to you, so that you have the final say as to whether it happens. Wait. Does that make sense?"
"Strangely, yes!"
"Siiick! Okay, so–so then I would say something like… Would you like to have sex with me?"
"I would hope in other instances that you would be more poetic about it, but I recognize that you're being this clear with me because you're so high that you're talking yourself through the process of flirting at the absolute basic level. Wildly entertaining. Please, do go on like this for me."
"Yes, of course, and so that is the basis of what I would say, but not what I'm saying to you specifically. Right, so, we just caught up to where I'm now thinking of how I would frame this given the context. You know, like, I'd incorporate the way I think of you, what I know about you, what I could do to make it more personable, right?"
"Oh, of course. So now you're flirting with me."
"Yes! You get it!Okay, and with you, I would probably go about it like this. I would quit slouching and sit up, reaching to brush my fingers across yours and invite a soft touch. Oh, see, you held onto it and entwined our fingers, so I know you're okay with the prospect of me touching you in some way. From there, I relax my body and my voice, just kinda easing into it with a warmer tone. I'd then say…"
She's trying not to smile too much, running with the bit just as much as I am. The two of us falter character and snicker a little between us before going right back into it.
"How deep the richness of your autumn hues and how serene the caress of your brushing leaves, that I find myself enchanted by the grace of your midnight branches. Yours, I could be, perhaps for the night or two. And then I'd make this move right here, because it's forward but not invasive, doesn't infringe on any of your personal space, and could just as easily be a parting gesture as well if you decide against the offer."
"I'm excited to see this little maneuver."
Slowly, eyes up to watch for even the slightest sign of rejection, I touch my lips to her fingers for just a few seconds before gently retreating.
"Would you like to lay with me, omorfiá mou?"
"Ohh. I see. Holy shit. That's passionate, isn't it? You mean every word. What's that last part? Sorry, my family is from Croatia, not Greece."
"Oh, it means 'my beauty'. Greek does it best."
"I'm inclined to agree. That's very nice. That whole thing you just said to me, that was very nice. I liked that. A lot. Um. I just have one question. You're not still in high school, are you?"
"Girl, I graduated seven years ago. I'm twenty five."
"Wonderful. I'll bite. Yes, I would like to lay with you. Let's lay toge–Wait. Waiiit." She flings herself over the branch sideways, dangling upside down right in front of me. First she gives me a sharp squint, but then she laughs and smiles. "I just remembered. Your girl. The black haired girl. Red eyes. She told me. If it was truly you who came to see me, you would absolutely try to fuck me."
I laugh again, sitting up. "Try?"
"Mmm." Her lips curl, and she looks down at mine. "Suppose you've passed my trial. I'll point you to the next one in a moment. Until then, let's talk about you and me."
"Heheh. Gladly. What's on your mind, baby girl?"
"I know who you are. I know about you, Nico."
"Oh no. My nights with girls who lead with that line always go one of two ways. Either really well. Or really fucking badly. And I love them both ways. Off rip, girl. Let me hear it."
"Well, whenever I hear anything about you, through one grapevine or another, it's always related to two things. One is that you're a fucking godsend in bed."
"I do love to please."
"Two is that you're a fucking trainwreck, aren't you?"
"Of mythical proportions, yep. I don't hide that."
"Like, disaster lesbian of all disaster lesbians."
"I've won that vote for the past four years straight, yes."
"And it's just so, so, so much–Like, an inordinate and genuinely absurd amount of drugs and sex. And outrage about you, what you've said or done or didn't do, offended pearl clutchers and right wing shitheads calling for you to be canceled or whatever."
"I've gotten in trouble with the chronically online leftists a few times as well, but it's always an informative and educational experience. Usually. Sometimes it's just nerds arguing about praxis and telling me to read. Oh, or the dumb leftist infighting. Or the dumb queer infighting. Or the dumb lesbian infighting."
"See, and my question to you, while we're still focused on having a conversation between us, is this." She takes gentle hold of my face with her hands, which are rough but careful. "Are you okay?"
I click my tongue and sigh as the magic dies. "Gods, I hate when people ask me that. The answer is so damn obvious. It speaks for itself. You just said it, I'm a fucking wreck. A disaster. Drugs, sex, and controversy. Am I okay? Do I look like I'm okay to you? Jesus Christ, I've been on a fucking nosedive for years now, burning up in flames as I fall, and people wanna ask if I'm okay? No, I'm not okay. I've never been okay."
The dryad doesn't say anything.
"Fuck me," I groan, head falling into my hands. "Mmmm… I haven't slept in days. Haven't eaten since… I don't know when. My apartment's gone. I'm dead broke. Kicked the hard drugs, but now I'm an alcoholic instead. And now I'm here. What the fuck am I doing here? Shit, this weed is strong. Like, too strong…"
"It sure is," she sighs, then slips down to my branch. "You sorry thing. I do like you. And this isn't personal. They just got here sooner than you did, and put me in a tough spot so I had to go with it. But I want you to know that I'm not with them. My reasons for doing this are different from theirs. Are you listening?"
Head's spinning. Can't think straight. "Mmm. Mhm. Yeah…"
"I just want to be a little villainous to you," she croons, kissing my forehead. "Make you a touch upset with me. That way, when you come back, you'll be cross enough to really ravage me. I give you my consent to be aggressive about it. Sounds fun, doesn't it?"
I'm cluing in now, but even through my dazed, delirious, frustrated haze, that does make me grin a little. "Looking forward… to it…"
"As am I." She stoops lower and gives me a kiss, sweet with some kinda gloss on her soft lips. "You know where to find me, Nico. You'll be back for me. I just know it."
The gloss is numbing my lips. "For… sure…"
"Oh, and when you wake up? Tell them this is why they shouldn't send a fish to do a plant's job. Please? For me? I'll be ever so grateful. Perhaps enough to let you hit it from the back."
"Ohhhh… Ohhh. Fuck. I… I love you. Okayyyeee…"
"See you soon, Nico. Don't keep me waiting too long."
"Mmmmaahhhh-kaaay…"
The lights flicker out.
When I wake up, it's to the offensive sensation of something cold splattering my face.
It hits me again and I flinch, moving my head away slightly. I'm sitting up, apparently, and tied down to a plain wooden chair at the ankles and wrists. My body is heavy, sluggish, slow, and my head is fucked up. Feels like I'm on ketamine and just about to hole it.
This place I'm in is dark and dimly lit. Real ugly serial killer basement dungeon type shit. Rusted pipes and stuff. Cold gray concrete. A single filament lightbulb dangling from overhead, which is buzzing a little and keeps flickering slightly darker. There's a tall shadow in front of me, moving with a slow sorta patience as it uses a disproportionately long arm to lower a large hand into a bucket at its side.
Then it flicks the cold stuff at me.
"Ah–Hey…" I groan, shifting around in place. "What… What is that?"
The thing doesn't answer, just standing there. It's too dark to see anything but its weirdly lengthy silhouette. Some Slender Man looking ass motherfucker. Just without the tenctacles or whatever.
It flicks more of the stuff at me.
"Knock it off, man… What are you… What are you doing?"
Again, I'm hit with the splatter.
"Hold up. That's… That's kinda solid? What–Wait…"
Once it happens again, I confirm my theory.
"Dude, are you just throwing dirt at me?"
A rasping voice hisses, "I am keeping you grounded."
"Bruh, it doesn't work that way. What?"
"Quiet." It throws dirt at me again. "You will not resist."
"You realize I can still use my power, right? Bust outta here?"
"You will not resist."
"Yo, I'm so confused… What are we doing here, man?"
"I am keeping you grounded."
My sparks fly on command. I can charge and discharge just fine.
It throws a larger fistful of dirt at me this time. "No. You will not resist."
"Bro, that isn't actually grounding–Ah, fuck it. A'ight, just 'cause I'm curious what the hell is going on here and who put you up to this, I'll roll with it and commit to the bit. You heard that, big guy? I'm chillin'. Vibing. Not going anywhere. I'm grounded and can't use my powers. Wink. Totally defenseless and disarmed here. Wink. I will not resist."
"Good." It hesitates. Then it throws more dirt. "Wait here."
"Kinda tied down here," I remind the dude as he slinks past me and into the dark. "Aw, man, I'm totally vulnerable right now. The hero's in a pretty tight pinch now, huh? How will our strapping and handsome and sexy lovergirl make it out of this one? Ohh, the stakes are so high. The tension. The–The rising action. It's just straight up nail-biting. I'm on the edge of my seat here. Literally."
It's quiet back there and I shut up for a second.
Guess I'm getting the police interrogation special, where they leave you in the room by yourself for hours on end as a form of psychological torture in the hopes you'll give up and comply. And we just let them do that shit to people, for whatever reason.
I mean, I guess it has to have some basis, right? Otherwise, they probably wouldn't do it. But there's one big problem with that interrogation strategy, and this one simple trick that can easily render it absolutely fucking useless and totally ineffective.
I like to call it…
Self induced dissociation.
Yep. I can do that shit on command.
With a slow blink, I go numb. Dead. Empty.
I feel nothing. I am nothing. I do not exist.
In this state, time may as well not exist either.
I could do this shit all damn day.
Weeks at a time. Months. Even years.
Nothing to it. I'm just fine sitting here.
Forever, if I have to.
…
…
…
There's motion behind me. Someone's coming.
I blink out of my trance and wake up, much less sedated by the dryad's poisons and the whacky weed, but unsure of how much time has passed. It could've been minutes, it could've been hours, I have no idea, and I don't care either. Wait, maybe I do. I'm kinda on a quest here. Anna needs me. I should probably get going here pretty soon.
A little troll looking dude or like a goblin or something circles around and stands within the light just in front of me. Yeah he's, like, knee high on me with a bunch of black hair almost like a porcupine, some seriously bigass pointy ears, a gnarly little face that looks a bit like a pug, and a pair of bone thin arms and gnobbly little legs. Big beady black eyes stare directly into my soul.
"You are my prisoner." His voice is sharp and raspy. "You will not resist. It is time for interrogation. You will speak or I will make you speak. You will not resist. If you do… I will destroy you. To death."
"Oh, shit. This is for real."
"Interrogation begins now."
There's no way for me to escape.
The hero is truly in dire straits.
I brace myself for the worst.