Breakfast of the Damned
Morning came too early, as usual.
I was halfway through a questionable omelet at the guild tavern when Lila slammed a parchment onto the table.
"Ren! Today's the Royal Magic Examination!"
I blinked. "And this affects me how?"
"They're letting anyone take the entry exam. If you pass, you can earn an official Mage License!"
"Cool. I'll buy one when it's on sale."
She puffed her cheeks. "It's free, and it comes with a 100-gold bonus if you qualify!"
My fork froze mid-air. "Repeat that number."
"One. Hundred. Gold."
I stood up so fast my chair cried.
"Where do I sign up?"
The Magic Academy
The exam grounds looked like a cross between a university and a war zone. Hundreds of hopeful mages filled the courtyard-robes fluttering, magic orbs glowing, egos inflating.
An old examiner barked from the stage, "Step forward, candidates! Display your magical potential!"
I glanced at Lila. "Define 'potential.'"
"Just show something magical."
I grinned. "Perfect. I'm full of nothing."
The Show-Offs
The first candidates went all out: fireballs, lightning, summoning familiars, one guy even levitated himself for applause.
When my turn came, the examiner squinted at the form.
"Ren Arkwright. Affiliation: Adventurer's Guild. Special Skill: …'Master of Procrastination?'"
Murmurs rippled through the crowd.
"Care to demonstrate, Mr. Arkwright?"
I stepped forward, scratching my head. "Sure thing, grandpa."
The examiner frowned. "You may begin."
The "Demonstration"
I raised a hand dramatically. Nothing happened.
Five seconds.
Ten seconds.
The crowd snickered. Someone coughed.
"Is… is this part of it?" Lila whispered.
"Yep," I said quietly. "I'm building suspense."
Finally, I sighed and activated Procrastinate.
The examiner's clipboard froze in midair. Birds in the sky stopped mid-flap. Even the breeze paused.
For ten full seconds, the world itself seemed to hold its breath.
Then, everything resumed.
The examiner's hat fell off.
The crowd gasped.
Lila blinked. "Did… you just freeze time?"
I shrugged. "I delayed responsibility. Same difference."
The Unexpected Result
After a long silence, the examiner cleared his throat.
"A rare temporal manipulation ability… unique, if inefficient. You pass."
"What."
"Welcome, Novice Mage."
He handed me a glowing badge before I could protest.
The crowd erupted in whispers.
"Time magic?!"
"Who is that guy?"
"He didn't even chant anything!"
I smiled weakly and whispered to Lila, "I think I just conned my way into academia."
She beamed. "See! You're amazing!"
"I sneezed on reality and got paid for it."
The Bonus Disaster
Later, at the guild, Clara handed me the promised 100 gold.
I felt power. Purpose. Purchasing potential.
Then the bartender approached.
"Ren. About your tab…"
"Wait-let's not do anything hasty-"
He dropped a bill longer than my life expectancy.
Total owed: 97 gold.
I stared in silence. "The system is rigged."
Lila giggled. "At least you're even now."
"Even implies balance. I feel spiritually robbed."
Next Chapter:
Chapter 6 – The Demon General Who Just Wanted Someone to Talk To