Royal Invitation, Round Two
I had hoped fame would fade fast.
Unfortunately, the universe hates me.
A fancy envelope arrived that morning-gold seal, royal crest, pretentious handwriting.
"You are hereby invited to attend the Royal Banquet in honor of the Hero of Tranquility."
Translation: mandatory social event with free food but maximum human interaction.
I considered pretending to be dead again. Unfortunately, Lila caught me mid-attempt.
"Ren, you have to go! It's your celebration!"
"I don't celebrate labor," I said flatly.
"Think of it as… a networking dinner."
"I don't network. I anti-network."
But then she mentioned the magic words: "All-you-can-eat buffet."
I was already halfway into my second-best cloak.
The Banquet of Misunderstandings
The palace ballroom glittered like someone had cast Luxurious Overkill.
Knights, nobles, and bureaucrats all whispered and stared as I walked in.
"There he is-the Hero who negotiated peace!"
"They say he can stop time itself!"
"They say he can kill a man with a yawn!"
"Those rumors are all technically false," I muttered, heading straight for the buffet table.
A noblewoman approached, fluttering her fan.
"Sir Ren, what inspired your philosophy of tranquility?"
"The part where doing nothing hurts less."
She giggled as if I'd said something profound. "So deep!"
Behind her, Lila beamed proudly. I sighed into a plate of roast chicken.
Trouble, Naturally
Halfway through my third dessert plate, the doors burst open.
"Humans! Tremble before-oh, you're already eating."
It was Zerath-the same Demon General I'd had lunch with.
He looked awkward in a tuxedo.
"Zerath?" I said, mid-bite. "Did you RSVP?"
"I'm here as an official envoy!" he said proudly. "Our peace treaty requires representation!"
Gasps filled the hall. Guards drew swords.
"Wait!" I waved lazily. "He's fine. He just gets dramatic when he's hungry."
Zerath nodded solemnly. "Indeed."
The king, red in the face, asked, "You know this demon?"
"Yeah. We had sandwiches once."
The room fell silent. Then the king coughed. "Ah… the power of friendship, then."
"Sure. Let's call it that."
The Toast Heard 'Round the Realm
They seated Zerath beside me. He whispered, "Humans are surprisingly polite. I haven't been stabbed once."
"Give it time."
A servant clinked a glass. "A toast! To Sir Ren Arkwright, who ended centuries of bloodshed!"
The hall erupted in applause.
I stood awkwardly, raised my drink, and said the first thing that came to mind:
"May peace last long enough for me to nap through it."
The crowd roared with laughter and tears. Lila sniffled. "You're so humble!"
"I'm so tired," I corrected.
The Part Where It Almost Becomes a Real Plot
As the night went on, I noticed something odd.
Zerath and the king were actually… talking.
Not yelling, not plotting, but genuinely negotiating trade routes and border policies.
Somehow, my nonsense had started a real alliance.
Lila whispered, "Ren… you changed the world."
I sipped my wine. "Accidents happen."
The Unpaid Ending
Eventually, the banquet wound down.
The crowd dispersed, and the royal treasurer approached me.
"Sir Ren, the bill for tonight's catering-"
I froze. "Wait, what?"
"Well, as the guest of honor, the expense technically falls under your name-"
I was already halfway out the window.
"REN!!!"
Epilogue: The Legend of the Lazy Hero
Weeks later, ballads were spreading across the continent.
He who silenced wars with a yawn.
He who united realms through naps and nonsense.
He who never paid his tab.
Somewhere in a small tavern, I was lying on a bench, hat over my face, Lila reading the latest exaggerated article aloud.
"Ren, they're calling you the 'Saint of Serenity.'"
"Good for them."
"What are you going to do next?"
"Sleep until the next plot forces me up."
End of Volume 1
("I Became an Adventurer, But That Sounds Like Work")