October 1, 1980
Everyday I feel like this jail gets more demented the more I stay here. I was snooping around, like I usually do, but then I saw a room that I probably shouldn't have seen. It was in Loco Lance's cell, I was gonna grab some stuff, but then I saw this book. I saw a whole bunch of drawings in it. I looked in it and to be honest, it was just a whole lot of scribbles. What I did see was these drawings of stick men. There were arrows over their heads and they said, "Me. Sister Lisa. Riley." I showed Riley the picture when I saw him in the cell and he covered his mouth after seeing the drawing. He started to cry again. I was confused and when I asked him what's wrong it took him a bit to calm down, but when he did he said
"Lance had a little sister before he came here. He was planning to go see her when he came out of here, but now that he's gone, his little sister is no longer gonna see him. His little sister was the only person that treated him nicely growing up." I'm not gonna lie when I say this, but for once, I had pity. Not mainly for Lance even though it was sad, but the fact that his little sister isn't gonna see him again was upsetting. I could relate to her a lot. When I was younger, I had a brother who had died from cancer. It bummed me out a whole lot. If there was one person that I had cared a lot about it was him. We did loads of things together and I was attached to him. Maybe a little too attached, so attached that when he died, I didn't make many friends after him. I was too afraid to put myself out there in fear that if I made another friend and grew close to them, they would die the same way like my brother. Do I still think that? Yeah kind of.
"Lance told me where his sister lives, he told me that if he doesn't come back, to go see her and tell her what happened. He also asked me to take her away from his family." Riley told me. I asked why and he said that from what he could understand from Lance, his family was terrible and that his sister suffered in that house. He said that if Riley could take her out, then it would bring her peace and that she could live a normal childhood that Lance couldn't. I would have gone against that idea, mainly because the possibility of Lance's parents agreeing to let Riley take Lance's sister was very slim and I don't know how Riley could do it, but Riley was so convinced that he could find a way that there wasn't a point in trying to stop him. Granted if Riley doesn't get far in these games, he might not be able to complete the task Lance gave him. As far as I know Riley has done 2 games, and I have done 3 which isn't enough just yet. Like I said most people don't get close to 5 or 6 at best. I don't know what will happen, but all I know is that I need to survive. Also, I learned that I was on the chopping block for people to kill apparently. I didn't know this until it was too late. I was out of my room, observing the lunch room, something I haven't been able to do in a while. It was the usual. People eating, talking, being dicks of course until I noticed a couple of guys looking in my direction. What I know from outside in the streets is having a group just looking at you means 3 things.
They're talking bad about you,They're talking about how good looking you are (which isn't likely here),They're planning to kill you.
I took my bet with their planning to kill me. I got off my post and started to walk away, however I noticed that they all got up and were walking in my direction. At that moment I knew I had to think of something so these guys wouldn't kill me. I walked to the bathroom and hid in a stall. I locked the door and stood on the toilet. They were coming soon and I couldn't hide from them forever, so I looked for anything in that stall. Luckily, behind the toilet someone hid a shank. It was weird someone had made a shank in here, but I didn't really think about it all too much so I grabbed it and kept it in my pocket. I walked out of the stall and waited. Eventually the group did come into the bathroom with these snarky grins on their faces like they were gonna enjoy this. One of the guys spoke in this grizzly voice and said that I was a threat. That when I kill men and walk out the room I look like I felt nothing. Like I felt no pity. Which might be a bit further from the truth. They said they were gonna kill me and hide my body in a trash bag so no one would know where I am. I would say that I was intimated, but these guys didn't know I had a weapon myself. It was a stare down for a minute before one of the guys lunged at me and was ready to throw a punch at me. I dodged the punch and shanked the guy on the stomach. He fell back and bled out. I saw the guys faces, filled with horror, but I didn't see one back down. They all kept coming towards me swinging their fists. It seems their strategy was to keep me off balance because they kept aiming for my legs the most. So to protect myself from being close, I threw the shank at their heads until it hit one, that way when they got distracted, I would come in quickly and stab them until none were left alive. It was gruesome, more than I'd like, but I did it. I hid the bodies in the bags the men held for me. I washed off all the blood from me, the floors and the walls and threw away the bags in the garbage. No one suspected me for anything, I was pretty lucky that no one asked me any questions about what happened. I went to my cell and sat on my bed, trying to come to terms with what I had done. I know that it was bad and such, but at the end of the day, it was for self defense. I'm not a monster who loves to kill people because I can. I did what I needed to do to stay safe. At least, I think that. I'll just forget about this, it's not gonna affect me in any way. As long as no one knows it was me, I'll be fine. To change this subject, I also found a love letter on my bed today. Weird, right? Me of all people? I don't know if it was an accident or if this is really for me. It says my name, but for all I know it can be a prank. I haven't found myself that attractive at all, but if someone found me attractive then there must be some hope, right? I wonder who'd it be though. This actually spices things up from all this murder in this gosh forsaken place. From what I read from the letter, I'd say this might not be a prank, but we'll see. I'm a little tired of writing about the stuff I've been through lately, so I'll write more tomorrow.