November 5, 1980
So, I didn't know this but apparently this room full of people I'm in seems to be the only batch of people left in this jail. It's been very quiet lately, despite not seeing other people around the jail usually, you can always sense there are other human beings besides the guards in this place. These walls also aren't that thick either, so sometimes people from the bottom or top cells could speak directly to us and even have conversations. I've never done it, but I have seen other guys do it at the old jail room. Now you hear no one from anywhere in the prison. It's either we've been isolated or no one is at the jail at all. It's odd, but I don't think the guards could have killed them. I'd assume there are too many people to commit such mass murders. I don't know, maybe I am over thinking it; There are cameras around here watching us. It's quite creepy. It's not a foreign thing here, I mean there were camera's at my old jail too, but they looked more like decoration than anything. Not like we ever got caught when we killed each other in front of it. Here it is like we are being watched 24/7 with no alone time. The only place we get privacy is when we are in the bathrooms and it's usual when we are in the stalls, it's creepy as hell like what creeps are watching us use the bathroom. Anyways, recently I've been observing around like usual and my eyes had laid on Harrison. I usually don't care for what he does, but for once I was interested in him because he wasn't his usual self. Like don't get me wrong, he's been acting off ever since we came here, but I don't know, something tells me the dude had grown depressed or something. If I had to guess why, it probably has something to do with the woman. He's always on edge when they come around him and usually cuts conversations short because of it. No matter how important the conversation was, he'd cut it immediately when he saw the ladies coming.
"What's up with your friend, Franklin?" Hope had questioned me. I couldn't give her a clear answer so I shrugged. Hope sighed and I saw a look of pity from her,
"Every time I try to talk to him, he moves away from me. I've been trying a lot, but it seems like he doesn't like me at all." she commented. She looked like a sad puppy, neglected from affection.
"Meh, don't worry too much about him. He's bad news, so you're much better off not interacting with him." I said, before patting her back. She looked up at me with these big puppy eyes and asked,
"Can you go see what's wrong with him?" I looked at her like she was crazy and she couldn't help but feel a bit embarrassed and rubbed her neck.
"I know you both have a bad history, and I know that he made you remember a memory that you wanted to stay forgotten. But if there's anyone that could get to him, it would be either you or Riley and… Well, Riley doesn't like being around him much." I sighed and thought about it for a second. I prefer to stay away from trouble, to not interact with him. I felt like I was being forced to do it, but weirdly I wasn't against the idea that much. Harrison had the ability to kill me if he wanted to, the only thing that stopped was that he only had me and Riley to interact with. Nobody else was willing to because of how psychotic he was. If there was anyone he wouldn't hurt, it would be me and Riley. I didn't want Riley to feel like he had to do this to help out Harrison, especially when I know how traumatized he is with Harrison's constant stories of being in jail and constantly scaring Riley to intimidate him and stuff. So I agreed to it. While walking to him, I didn't know what I was going to say or ask him. I was just winging it at this point. Harrison looked at me as I finally made it to the side of his bed.
"Alright man, what's up with you? Why are you hiding away on your bed?" I asked. He glared at me, clearly not amused by my question.
"It's nothing," he said. I rolled my eyes at him, not falling for his "It's nothing" trick to get people to leave him alone, I would know too well about that.
"Don't give me none of that bull. What's wrong with you? Why do you always hide away from the women here and isolate yourself from other people? I thought you'd be all over them." As I spoke, I noticed how uncomfy Harrison looked. Like he was afraid to come out of his hidden shell. Harrison exhaled in annoyance.
"Why should I tell you?" He inquired. I got annoyed by him pushing me away, I wanted to quit but if I did, I knew Hope was gonna bug me about it.
"Because you clearly need somebody to talk to, but all you're doing is pushing people away from you and you're gonna make yourself feel worse if you hold this in." I answered. Harrison rolled his eyes at me and said,
"How would you know about how I feel?" he questioned me, that struck a nerve in me. I felt like I was wasting time.
"Because, you idiot… I felt the same way as you!" I said. I'm not usually the "let out my feeling type" of person, but considering how annoying Harrison was being, it was my only idea at the time.
"I know what it's like to hold your feelings in so no one notices the pain you're in. I know what it's like to isolate yourself from everyone so you don't get hurt… I know what it's like to feel pain, to lose everything… and I know what it's like to feel lonely and struggle to make connections." I poured out, it felt so hard to say all that. To my luck it looks like Harrison was listening quietly, probably the first time he's ever listened to anyone. I continued on with my words and thought about them carefully,
"I lost my brother, my grandmother and grandfather at such a young age that I just stopped caring about everything. So much pain was caused and I just found it easier to pretend like it didn't affect me… But it did, badly." I took one breath before looking down,
"I'll admit it. If it wasn't for Riley becoming my friend, I would have gone insane like everyone else in here. But I didn't." The silence was deafening, I was thinking about leaving, but to my surprise Harrison actually said something.
"I hide away from the girls because they remind me of a girl that I knew…" he grimaced at those words he had said. Sighing he continued,
"She was my girlfriend and I loved her, but I didn't notice at first how messed up she was and because of that she made my life a living hell." I could see it in his eyes that those years of being with his girlfriend were the most insufferable years of his life.
"What did she do exactly that made it horrible to live with her?" I asked.
"Well, she'd constantly harass me about putting my stuff away in our room. She'd also yell at me a lot for eating all the food in the fridge sometimes. And then this one time she hit me for accidently destroying a wall after my anger got a little too out of control." he explained. I was flabbergasted, but I felt no pity for him. The guy might be a candidate for the worst and most sensitive boyfriend ever. That's not abuse, that common sense of what someone would do if you're wasting money and making a mess. I didn't have words for him because listening to him makes me feel like I'm gonna have an aneurysm from him. He continued on with his little story,
"One day I did get tired of her. She had hurt and abused me so much that I snapped and well… I might have killed her by accident."
"What the hell did you do?" I asked. I wish I never asked.
"I pushed her down the stairs. There were very few stairs where we lived, but she hit the back of her head on the edge of one of the stairs and it cracked her skull open. It was nasty." he explained. At this point I was done listening to him. I didn't know what to say to him whatsoever. What was once pity for him turned into disgust of how ignorant a person could be.
"That's messed up…" I said. I continued on,
"You're messed up. You did terrible stuff and instead of changing your ways you decided to kill the only person that gave a shit about you. And you're saying you got abused? By the sounds of it, it was deserved." I saw a change in Harrison's emotions. He looked pissed as if I didn't say what he wanted to hear. He crossed his arms and shot me a glare saying,
"Excuse me, I didn't deserve any of that. She was just being an asshole."
"Being an asshole?" I retorted,
"You might be the worst boyfriend ever! Don't you see how wrong you are? She didn't deserve to die because you couldn't handle your damn emotions." I saw him ball his hand into a fist, I was getting to him and he absolutely hated it.
"Watch your mouth before I kick your ass, Higgins." he angrily said. I rolled my eyes,
"There you go, using violence when you don't get your way. Classic Harrison. Maybe if you weren't such a big idiot maybe you'd actually have a better life and not be cooped up in here, but no. You chose to hurt others and look where that got you-" before I could finish my sentence, he punched me right in the face which had me fall onto the floor. Without any sort of clear thought in my mind, I grabbed him and threw him on the floor. Before he could get it up, I started throwing punches at him. He kicked my stomach and got up. Once he did, he elbowed my nose and threw me on the floor. At this point, everyone's attention was on us. I got up and from the corner of my eyes, I saw Riley, Hope and Evelyn watch. They all looked horrified, except Riley. This was pretty much a daily occurrence to him. That didn't stop him from trying to stop the fight after he saw me get punched in the gut. Riley ran up and took me to the bathroom away from Harrison as the other guys crowded around Harrison to block him as well. The women all stood away from the fight.
"Your bleeding from your nose, Franklin" Riley said, wincing at the bloody mess I was in. He had to clean me up with wet toilet paper since we didn't have any paper towels at all. Riley sighed in exhaustion as if he was in that fight I was in,
"After knowing him for a while, never would I think he'd actually hurt one of us." I wiped the remaining blood from my face.
"Yeah well, I figured. He's definitely not a good person. He deserves to be stuck in here." I uttered. I got up and looked at Riley. The more I look at him the more I cannot help but see the sadness in his eyes. Riley usually stays out of trouble here. If there's an argument, he usually walks away. Of course, he talks with people, he can't change how social he is, but I see the main people he talks to more are me, Hope and Evelyn. Me and him have been together from the beginning so it makes sense, Hope and Riley love to talk about boys and what they plan to do when they leave this place, and Evelyn usually acts as Riley therapist. She's not qualified for it since she's never gone to college for it, but Riley says she's very good at giving advice and they usually do techniques to help him with his stress. I always wondered why I'd see them mediating sometimes, I guess I got my answer. Me and Riley walked out of the bathroom. Everyone around the room looked awkward and tense. I mean who wouldn't be when you see two grown men fighting each other in the middle of the room. I mean that sounds like a normal occurrence for me at least so I don't know. I spotted Evelyn and Hope sitting with each other near on Eveyln's bed. We walked over to the bed and before I could even say hi or literally anything, Hope jumped and gave me a hug, apologizing as if she created a murder scene.
"It's fine, really." I said, but that wasn't good enough for Hope.
"You would have been great if I didn't make you go talk to Harrison." she muttered. She continued you on with the constant apologies. Until Evelyn put her hand on Hope's shoulder.
"Hope, it's ok. You can't undo everything that has already happened. Let's just move on from this." she said, softly. Hope sighed and had let go of me.
"Ok…" she said, still upset.
"Well if anything, it kinda helped prove my point. Harrison is more than an asshole. He's the worst human being I've ever met who has no common sense. He's a murder and a threat here." I said.
"I wish I had met him before being here. Maybe then he could be better." Riley said as he looked like his thoughts were all on Harrison. Evelyn shook her head, disapprovingly.
"Even if you could've, I don't think he would have changed. Not everyone can change, and you'll just have to accept that." she said sternly. The silence was loud, but understanding. I could agree with Evelyn. There is no way to change who Harrison is. Even if there was, I wouldn't expect much progress. His mindset is already set and if he's not gonna let anyone in and show him how wrong he is, he won't change for anyone. Anyways, ever since that day, Hope has been trying to find ways to apologize. No matter how much I say it's ok, she keeps trying to find ways to apologize. I can't tell if it's a need for her to apologize or something else, but whatever the case is she hangs out with me more often. In fact writing this, she is currently sleeping next to me on my bed. She exhausted herself out with stress and I can't move her at all. She's not heavy, more like an easily scared sleeper if you get what I mean. Well whatever, all I care about is staying far away from Harrison.