Nicolas stormed down the hallway towards the main entrance of the guesthouse, his mind overflowing with anger.
He remembered his mother's face, always smiling and speaking with gentle words. Those kind eyes had been constantly sunken and exhausted. She had gone through so much. How could that woman speak of her like that? He wanted nothing more than to see Marianne suffer ten times the amount of pain and torment his mother had.
He hardly noticed the freezing cold air as he stepped outside. Caught up in his own thoughts, he simply marched forward, eyes on the ground. A few moments later, he bumped into something yet carried on regardless.
"Hey watch it, you little prick."
A sudden force threw him backwards, and before he knew it he was sprawled on the stone pathway of the courtyard. He looked up to see a group of young men staring down at him and felt his heart sink.
"Hey look, it's the mutt." One man said.
They all wore loose sweatshirts and tracksuits, making them look like some cheap knockoff street gang. A tall, muscular young man at the front stepped forward. He had a brow piercing and bleached short hair.
"Aren't you going to say sorry, mutt?" He spat.
"I'm sorry, Diskin." Nicolas said quickly.
The young man looked dissatisfied with his quick response.
"Now, now, you got to put more feeling into it or I'll think you're lying."
Nicolas knew by now that this wouldn't end with a simple apology. He looked around. It was pitch black, and there wasn't another soul in sight. Most people were probably still at dinner. He'd been careless.
"I'm very sorry! I won't do it again, I swear." Nicolas said, putting as much feeling as he could into it.
His pleas were met with cruel laughter. Diskin smiled, showing a single missing tooth.
"Nah, don't think I'm satisfied with that. We're going to need something more substantial.
Nicolas tried to get to his feet, but two of Diskin's friends grabbed him from behind.
Diskin stepped forward and squatted so that he was face to face with Nicolas.
"You know, we still haven't gotten those pictures we asked for last time. What's up with that, Nick?"
Diskin's eyes were sharp and tore right into Nicolas.
"I'm trying, but it's difficult not to get caught, there isn't any hiding places nearby and..."
Nicolas' head flew backwards, and he felt a sudden pain on the right side of his jaw. His head hit the ice-cold ground and he let out a pained grunt.
Dull pain radiated from his jaw as he looked up with unfocused eyes.
"I'm not fond of hearing excuses, Nick. I'll ask again, where are the pictures?"
"I...I"
Nicolas didn't know what to say. He covered his face in anticipation of another punch only to feel the front end of a shoe slam into his right side. He coughed as he tried to catch his breath. The pain in his jaw was almost completely forgotten in the wake of this fresh assault.
"Why don't we make him walk around in Rosetta's clothes again?"
Nicolas could just about hear one of Diskin's friends speak.
"No. The freak liked that too much. This is a punishment, you see. He's gotta feel bad for what he's done."
He heard mocking laughter from the crowd.
He tried to crawl away, but someone grabbed him by the shoulders and forced him to stay put.
"Don't move, mutt. I'd say we'll be needing your help soon."
Nicolas could do nothing but lie there panting and cursing his carelessness. Of course, they'd be around at night looking for him.
It hadn't always been like this. Years ago, when he had first arrived at the orphanage, Addi and Dean had befriended him. Being part of a group kept him safe. It was an orphanage in the middle of nowhere with only a single matron, so bullying was a frequent occurrence. Nicolas had been one of the lucky few children to avoid the brunt of it.
That all changed after their group began to split apart. He no longer had their protection, and Oscar, a man disliked by most of the youth, started taking an interest in him. Oscar gave him his own room, access to finer meals and dressed him in nicer clothes. In return, Nicolas was forced to study and assist Oscar at almost every waking moment. Not that this drawback was noticed by the other youths, who could only look at him with jealousy.
"She's coming."
Nicolas looked up as one of Diskin's friends spoke. From the darkness came two women. Nicolas recognized them as Ruth and Sarah. Ruth was Diskin's girlfriend. At least, that's what he had guessed based on their interactions. He had seen Diskin with other women, so maybe it was something less formal? His hazy mind focused on the unusual topic as Diskin turned away and faced the two women.
She shoved a bag into Diskin's chest.
"Here, just like you asked."
Diskin took the bag with a grin.
"Hey, don't forget you promised you'd buy me those shoes the other week." Ruth said.
"Don't worry, babe, already bought and paid for."
He took out his phone and showed her something.
"Thanks, baby." Ruth said sweetly, kissing him on the lips. "You're the best."
Diskin took one look at the contents of the bag then walked over to Nicolas. Looking down at him with a grin, Diskin upended the bag's contents onto Nicolas' lap. He then placed the bag neatly next to Nicolas on the ground.
Whatever it was, felt light. He looked down to see various items of female clothing covering his lower half.
"What..."
He heard the snap of multiple camera phones and was blinded by their flashing lights.
"Oh dear, stealing Rosetta and Maria's lingerie. You're a little sicko, aren't you?"
Nicolas' eyes widened in horror. How did they get their hands on this stuff?
"Rose is going to be in such a world of hurt when she finds no change of clothes tomorrow!" Sarah laughed.
"How's that, Nick? Feeling excited over being covered in girl's knickers?" Diskin asked.
"Come on, we all know he has the hots for the priestess."
"So he likes them young and pure, huh? Not that I blame him, I wouldn't mind a bit of that."
"Don't be fucking stupid." Diskin said, "That filthy albino will probably suck the soul right outta you. Honestly, it makes me sick just looking at her face."
The group laughed as they continued to hurl insults at everyone he knew.
Nicolas tried to block out their cruel words. It wasn't true, none of it. He felt disgusting.
"Should we send these photos to everyone in town?" Said one young man.
Diskin shook his head.
"Nah, we're gonna use these."
He turned to face Nicolas, who now had tears running down his cheeks.
"I want those photos of Maria and Rosetta, not one piece of clothing on them. You have until the day after the festival. If we don't have them, well then."
He showed Nicolas the picture on his phone.
"Well, I'm sure you understand."
"Why not get your girlfriends to do it?" Nicolas muttered.
He felt another kick meet his side and he doubled over once more, coughing.
"Why..." he said between breaths.
"What was that?" Diskin asked.
"Why are you doing this to me? What did I ever do to you?"
Nicolas' voice had gotten stronger as he spoke, and he ended his question in a pained shriek. His anger from earlier, not entirely dissipated, had given him a rare boost in courage. Yet even as anger burned within him, fresh tears were streaming down his face. He really was pathetic.
Diskin laughed, and once again got close to Nicolas.
"Because you and anyone else sucking up to those bastards at the top deserve everything you get, asshole."
Nicolas gritted his teeth.
"You only go after us because you're still afraid of Oscar, aren't you? If you had any balls, you'd attack Oscar himself, but you can't, can you?" He asked through his teeth.
He felt something strike his side, and he screamed in pain. Diskin might have said something back, but Nicolas could no longer listen through his own cries.
Eventually,With a few more laughs and jeers, they walked away, leaving him alone to catch his breath and bear the pain.
After a while, he slowly got up onto his knees and looked around. He was completely alone. He let out one last sob as he shakily got to his feet.
Why did they have to torment him just because they hated being here? Their genuine hatred lay with Oscar and Methaeus along with their whole regime. That unfortunately included himself, Rosetta and Addi, whom they saw working closely with them.
Next to him, the contents of Rosetta's bag lay on the cold stone ground.
In a panic, he fled. Leaving them on the ground. He didn't know where he was going, he just wanted to get away from there.
He didn't remember much about what happened right after. The next thing he knew, he was in his room lying on his bed.
Nicolas curled up, grabbing his knees. All he wanted was to be left alone, but others wouldn't even let him have that much.
His body shook, and his chest grew tight once more.
"No, please." He whispered under the sheets.
He began to lose feeling in his fingers and toes, and the edges of his vision grew dark.
Boy!
A voice boomed in his ears. He could hear a woman crying in the distance, which was echoed by the cries of her child.
His room was full of people. He couldn't see or hear them, but they were there. He felt them. Some were laughing. Others were shaking their heads in disgust.
He prayed to the Goddess day in and day out for relief, but it was never enough. They would always torment him. He would always be the mutt.
He closed his eyes, wishing they would go away, but this only made their presence stronger. He felt himself being pushed against his bed. They were going to crush him. He gasped.
It's all your FAULT
He screamed.
He stood up and half ran, half crawled towards his desk, where he had left a glass of water. He focused on drinking and tried to calm himself down. In his haste, the water went down his windpipe, and he began coughing uncontrollably. What little strength remained left him, and he fell to the ground. His vision grew dark, but he thought he heard someone rush into his bedroom.
A sudden cold sensation slamming into his face roused him from his stupor. He gasped as water trickled down his face and soaked into his clothes. His vision slowly came into focus, and he noticed someone standing above him. Large and imposing, with short pepper-grey hair and a trimmed beard, Oscar stared down at him with a stern expression.
"Are you alright, boy?"
Nicolas wiped his face and nodded. He sat up from the floor and looked around his dark room. His chest felt tight, a fact that wasn't helped by Oscar's presence. His stoney face grew even sterner as he silently stared a hole into Nicolas.
"Give it up." He said with a low growl. "Throwing these tantrums and working yourself up to where you think you are sick. It's shameful for a man in your position."
Nicolas felt his heart sink. He had to take a few breaths and swallow deeply before talking. He could feel the bile rising in his stomach.
"But sir, I think I am sick, I..."
"You are not sick. You cannot be sick. I have the best doctors money can afford monitoring you, so you had better stop with this carry on."
"But..."
"That's enough. I won't hear it!" Oscar roared, his face growing red.
Nicolas retreated, scrambling backwards on the floor.
Seeing this, Oscar's face grew even redder as he grit his teeth.
"You let that Evelyn woman get under your skin and acted like a child during an important dinner. Why can't you act with dignity even for a few brief hours?"
Oscar's voice had grown calmer, but the words that came from his mouth were still scathing.
"She insulted my mother. I couldn't let..."
"Words are simply words, boy. If you let everything people say work you up like that, you'll never make it in this life. She used those words to provoke a reaction from you, and she got exactly what she wanted."
Nicolas looked up at Oscar.
"If I'm so unsuited to it then why do you keep forcing it on me? I told you I..."
"You don't get a choice in the matter, boy. What I say goes."
It was an argument they had had multiple times in the past. Nicolas could never understand why Oscar put so much work into him. He was sickly and wanted nothing to do with Oscar. Practically any other orphan could do a better job as his assistant. Why did he have to pick him?
A brief silence settled upon the room. Oscar gave Nicolas a complicated look before stepping towards the door.
"Be in my office by six in the morning tomorrow. You will be assisting me with festival preparations. Also, you will apologize to Lady Edmund."
With those words said, Oscar stepped out of the room, slamming the door shut as he went.
Nicolas could feel another attack coming on. He didn't want to get up at six and help Oscar. It was too much. He needed air.
He was running, his legs taking him somewhere far away. He heard his mother's weak voice and saw Oscar's strict face. Away from here. He had to get away from here.
Before he knew it, the darkness of the outdoors surrounded him. He recognized the small garden and the forest beyond. A place where had had always felt comfort, ever since his childhood. The hours spent looking for rare animals and plants had been a joy. Yes, even in the dead of night, the forest still promised comfort.
Nobody would find him there. This whole place was rotten to the core. He could no longer stand to be a part of it. No matter what he did, the people here would hate him. He wanted nothing more than to leave.
Ignoring the darkness, he took a step and then another until the forest swallowed him. He fumbled in his pockets and found his phone.
Taking it out, he switched on the light. Skeletal branches and leaf litter came into view. He breathed a sigh of relief. It was dangerous to wander into the forest at night. Getting lost was a certainty, but he didn't care. The air was fresh, and there would be nobody here at this hour.
He walked and walked for hours on end, basking in the peace and quiet before eventually coming to a cliffside. The edge of the cliff in this area had a rope fence to prevent people from falling.
"Ah, I remember..."
They had often come to this place as children. There was a river not too far away, and if he remembered correctly, there was something else here too.
He turned right, walking along the cliff edge. A few paths branched off, but he ignored them. He eventually came to a fork and turned right back into the forest. The path became lined with ancient stone carvings of circular shape on either side. Most of them were crumbling and covered in moss.
A few hundred meters down the path stood the remains of an old building. It resembled a shrine or a church with an arched entranceway and tall gaps that used to contain windows. This had been their secret base as children. A place only they knew about, where they could be free to do whatever they wanted.
During the summer months, he often spent more time here than in the monastery.It was a great way to get away from people. He rarely came in the winter because of the freezing temperatures, but that didn't matter tonight. He couldn't even feel the cold.
He stumbled inside and quickly found a chair to sit on despite the darkness. They had brought old furniture here years ago without telling the adults.
He sat there for a long time, or perhaps it was only a short time? It was difficult to tell. He periodically drifted in and out of consciousness. The darkness made it difficult to tell the difference between sleep and wakefulness.
He wasn't alone. He saw many people step inside. Some were welcome. His long-dead mother came by and gave him something to eat. It was a watery vegetable soup, but it tasted better than anything he'd had in the monastery. She sat with him for a while before smiling gently.
You'll be a great man someday, Nick, just wait a little longer. He'll come back for you.
"I want to be great for you mother, I want you to be proud, but..." Nicolas replied, trailing off towards the end as doubt clouded his mind.
It didn't matter what he wanted. His body and mind shackled him to mediocrity. His life would never have meaning, no matter how hard he struggled.
Seeming to understand his thoughts, his mother gave him a gentle smile full of encouragement before she faded away.
He reached out to stop her, but the dead couldn't stay long in the land of the living.
Others were not so welcome. Oscar, Dean and the bullies all came to talk down to him. In those moments, he screamed and cried to no avail. They called him worthless, a waste of the food and drink used to keep him alive, a waste of the oxygen he breathed. He was utterly useless to the world.
"You know we deserve better, don't you? Then why not stand up for yourself? If it were me, I could have this place under my thumb in a matter of days."
Standing in front of him once again as his better self. The more confident version of himself that appeared from time to time to berate him. His voice was quiet, but it stood in defiance against the words of insult that had been thrown his way.
Was he awake or asleep? If it was a dream, it felt very real.
The surrounding air stilled, and the sounds from the wild animals outside grew completely silent. Breaking the silence were footsteps growing increasingly louder with each passing second. Whoever was coming walked with slow, deliberate steps.
Nicolas froze, unable to move from the chair and hide. Whatever was coming was there for him, and he could not escape. The building only had a single entrance. He tried to quieten his breathing but to no avail.
Then it appeared. A figure stood right there in the doorway. It was completely dark inside, but it was a clear night outside. Nicolas could barely make the figure out in the darkness.
"Poor, poor Nicolas, are you being roughed up again? Tell me, is it the pain caused by others or the pain you inflict upon yourself that has you in such a state tonight?"
A feminine voice reached his ears. It was so gentle, he could feel himself relax just from listening to it. He wasn't even sure if he was awake or not. The voice sounded familiar. It was a voice he knew he could trust.
"All you ever wanted was for your life to have meaning. A happiness everyone on this earth deserves. Yet, you were never given a fair chance."
He opened his mouth, but all that came out was a short, gasping sound. The figure walked right up to him before leaning down to look him in the eye. A beautiful, scarred face hidden in the shadows.
"The ideal you whom you hallucinate. He is you and you are him. All you need to do is accept him."
"I'm not... I'm just a sickly..."
Nicolas tried to stand up, but it felt as if all control had been taken away from him.
"No, you are meant for great things. Those who fear you have merely robbed you of what is rightfully yours. You're the Goddess' chosen. Here, allow me to prove it to you.
The figure reached out an almost skeletal hand and caressed the side of his head.
Flash.
Visions came to him, one after another. Visions of him, his friends and of Oscar. In those short few moments, he saw the unimaginable. He saw the truth.
"Lead those who would follow and grant yourself and all those yo love eternal paradise. You have my support. Now and always."
Her words filled him with a warmth he had not experienced since the days his mother was with him. Yes, he could trust the words of this person. She was, after all, the Goddess herself, and he had just been granted a place at her side.
As his consciousness faded, Nicolas let out a brief burst of laughter. A lone young man, sitting in a collapsed building with nothing but the sound of his own laughter to keep him company.