The browns, yellows and dark greens of the forest gradually turned white as the snow continued to fall. Dean could feel the crunch of snow beneath his feet as he and Addi continued down the forest trail.
Addi, for her part, seemed to regain some of her cheer as they walked. Now and then she would pause to catch a snowflake or kick up some of the snow.
"I see your love for the snow hasn't changed." Dean said.
"I love and hate it, I guess," Addi replied. "I used to love playing in the snow with everyone, though I wish you all hadn't started calling me the little snow fairy."
Addi's white hair and pale skin did resemble a fairy. However, because of her appearance, Addi had been treated terribly by other kids and even many adults. It wasn't a good idea to bring it up.
"What is it?" Addi said, frowning in suspicion.
"Nothing."
He hid his troubled expression behind a small smile.
"You were the only ones who treated me like a regular person back then. The snow fairy thing never really bothered me much. Besides, it suits my innocent beauty!"
Addi placed her hands on her hips and raised her chin, which looked incredibly awkward as she tried to walk the mountain path at the same time.
"What innocence?" Dean asked, genuinely curious.
"It's my image, you dense ape."
Dean bit his lip and decided to ignore her harsh words.
"I heard that snow fairies grant wishes."
"Changing the subject just like that. Well, whatever, what would you wish for then?
Dean thought about it for a moment.
I want to see her again. I want her forgiveness.
Dean dismissed the sudden thought that appeared as if from nowhere in his mind. It had nothing to do with him now.
"I want to be served a pleasant drink by a beautiful woman while sitting by the fire." He said as he rubbed his chilly hands together.
"That's not very exciting. You could do that this evening if you wanted to. We have a fireplace and plenty of drink."
"What about the beautiful woman?"
"Well, that would be me, wouldn't it?" Addi said with a beaming smile.
Dean snorted loudly.
"Maria or Rosetta would do well enough."
Having Addi keep him company wouldn't have been bad at all. In fact, he'd prefer her to almost anyone else in the world. He just didn't want her to know that.
Addi to punched him in the arm.
"Is that half-assed wish really what you want?" She asked.
"Yeah, I've never given wishes much thought, to be honest." Dean replied.
Addi smiled, shaking her head.
"You need some direction in life. I should preach to you about responsibility for a few hours when we get back."
"Please don't," Dean said, grabbing her by the shoulders. "Anything but that."
Addi grinned but didn't take back her words. She didn't try to shake him off either, so Dean was forced to let go after a few moments.
"What would you wish for then?" Dean asked.
"All my friends to stay together forever." Addi said in an instant. "Safe from tragedy and suffering."
"I see." He whispered.
A wish that could never happen. Even if he succeeded and Nicolas was brought back into the group, things would never be the same.
"I know what you're thinking," Addi said. "But don't forget, the best wishes are those that are impossible to achieve."
Dean nodded in agreement. Addi's wish was a beautiful one that would keep her striving towards a happier life. It was a wish worth having.
After about an hour of walking, they heard footsteps approaching from ahead on the trail. Placing himself in front of Addi, Dean looked around trying to discern what was coming from beyond the trees and snow.
Eventually, Matin stumbled out in front of them, red hair peppered with snowflakes. He was panting but otherwise seemed OK.
"You found Addi! Oh thank goodness." He said between breaths.
"No need to worry so much." Addi grumbled.
"Even so, I'm glad to see you're ok." Matin said with a smile.
"Why didn't you wait at the fork?" Dean asked.
"Uh, it started snowing, so I got worried."
"Did you see any signs of Nicolas?" Dean asked.
Matin shook his head. "No, none, what about you?"
"Addi was talking to him for a bit, but she thinks he might have returned to the monastery by now."
"Really?" Matin asked. "Alright then. We really need to hurry back before it gets heavier."
The three of them began to make their way back to the monastery. They would have to wait for Rosetta and Maria at the next crossroads, but there was still just enough time left before nightfall.
After a few moments of walking, Dean came to a sudden stop. Matin, who was busy watching his feet, bumped into him from behind. He grunted in surprise.
"Why did you stop?" He asked.
Matin's question was answered for him as he looked over Dean's shoulder. In front of them, standing in the middle of the path, was Nicolas.
Dean could tell there was something different about the young man as soon as he saw him. He was looking right at Dean. Nicolas usually avoided eye contact with everyone save for Addi. And then there was his expression. His eyes looked calm and self assured and he wore a slight grin.
"Nick, you're OK!" Matin said with delight as he took a step forward.
"Wait." Addi hissed, grabbing Matin's sleeve
"What, why?"
Addi didn't respond but continued looking at Nicolas with suspicion.
"Are you alright?" Dean asked slowly, unsure about the current situation.
Nicolas' gaze turned slowly towards Dean.
"Alright?" he asked as if pondering the word. "Yes, I'm...excellent. Never been better."
"OK, well that's good." Dean replied. "We're heading back to the monastery. You're coming with us right?"
Nicolas cocked his head.
"The monastery? Of course, I should be getting back there soon. There's so much that needs to be done."
Dean swallowed. This didn't feel like a conversation at all.
"The snow's getting heavier." Matin observed. "Come on, let's go. Oscar's been..."
"Quiet!" Addi shouted suddenly, causing Matin to flinch.
Addi's outburst also surprised Dean, so he turned to look at her. She gripped Matin's sleeve tighter, causing him to bend backwards slightly.
"Oscar?" Nicolas whispered.
The three turned towards Nicolas as he spoke. There was venom in that whispered name that none of them missed.
"That pathetic man looking to revive his long lost family name? Don't you even dare speak his name in my presence again!" Nicolas shouted.
Dean and the others stood there in shocked silence.
Nicolas had never spoken in such a direct way before. His words had always been very measured and cautious, but now he spoke with pure confidence, as if he were in total control.
"It's his fault, you know. He's the one running this community into the ground. If you are with him then..."
"Nick, it's ok. He won't find you right now. You're safe." Addi whispered soothingly, although she couldn't conceal a slight tremble in her voice. "Why don't we go back to the monastery? You know, we haven't played the violin or piano together in a long time, so maybe we can do that?"
Addi's words didn't seem to reach Nicolas, whose eyes widened at hearing Addi's words.
"Silence, impostor!" He screamed.
Addi's face contorted slightly at the words, and she bit her lip hard.
"Yes, you've noticed too, right?" Nicolas asked, "She whispers to me. She tells me things. She told me I'm special, that people need me!" Nicolas took a step forward and grinned. "And she's told me all about you, Addi."
Despite the cold, sweat matted his black hair, and it clung to his forehead.
"I see, so that's what's happening. I'm so sorry, Nick, looks like I was a bit too late." Addi said, her voice an emotionless whisper.
Matin took a step forward and tried to intervene.
"Come on, let's calm down, yeah? We can talk about this when we get back to the monastery." He whispered.
"Stay away!" Nicolas shouted. "That place is a filthy nest of schemers and scum. I won't be going back there, not yet."
Nicolas turned and bolted into the forest.
"Nicolas wait!" Matin said.
Without thinking, Dean ran into the forest after Nicolas. The sunlight was getting dimmer by the minute, but he could easily hear Nicolas' frantic footsteps as he ran. Dean could also hear both Matin and Addi running behind him. Every step was treacherous, and he could feel thorns and twigs catch on his clothes as he ran.
Nicolas made no attempt to hide his sprint through the forest. The noise he was making could probably be heard a mile away.
Dean couldn't understand Nickolas' sudden change in personality. He had always been so quiet and reserved before. Not only that, but even Addi's attitude had changed somewhat since last night. He would have to sit her down later and get her to explain everything in more detail.
Suddenly, the forest gave way, and all he could see were mountains, silhouetted in the late sunset. He came to an abrupt stop and nearly tumbled over his own feet.
He was standing at the edge of a sheer cliff. The tops of the trees below were meters under his feet. Nicolas was nowhere to be seen.
"What the hell." Dean muttered.
He could remember hearing Nicolas clearly before he became lost in his thoughts. He shook his head.
"Dammit."
He had let himself get distracted again when he should have been focusing on chasing Nicolas.
"There you are."
Dean heard gasping breaths behind him as he turned to see Matin and Addi. Matin was out of breath and had a few scratches here and there. Addi seemed none the worse for wear even after running through the dense forest.
Looking to his left and right, he could see the cliff continue on either side. The path to his right continued up the mountain.
"Are we going to be able to get back ourselves at this rate?" Matin asked between breaths.
Dean shook his head. The sun had since set below the surrounding mountains, and their massive shadows covered the forested valleys. They had chased after Nicolas in the opposite direction of the monastery, and he wasn't entirely sure where they were now.
"We've strayed off the beaten path. It's not a good idea to go wandering through the forest now." Dean said.
"That was a bit too impulsive, Dean," Matin chided.
"Yeah, sorry, I couldn't even catch up with Nick in the end."
Matin's shoulders slumped a little. He turned to Addi.
"Could we maybe be able to get back to the old shrine at least?" He asked with a glint of hope in his voice.
"I know how to get there from here, but Dean's right. We might end up lost if we try to go back through the forest now."
Addi seemed far less bothered by the prospect of sleeping rough. Matin, on the other hand, looked like he was about to cry.
"Addi, do you know something?" Dean asked.
"What makes you ask?" Addi responded
"You're a little too calm for someone lost in the woods at night. Shouldn't you be acting more like Matin here?"
Addi shrugged her shoulders and smiled once again.
"I have more spine than our dear friend Matin."
She ignored Matin's indignant protest and continued.
"I could say the same for you. You look cool as a cucumber."
Now that she mentioned it, he did feel calmer than he perhaps should.
"I think walking around lost with the two of you reminded me of our past escapades. It's a bit nostalgic."
"So carefree! It boggles my mind that you survived to adulthood!" Addi said, slapping him on the shoulder.
"You're happy to be away from the Monastery, aren't you?"
"Yep."
"Well, guess this whole thing is a net positive, so."
Matin was looking at them both with incredulity.
"Can't both of you take this more seriously? The temperature plummets at night. If we don't do something, we'll freeze to death!"
Dean felt slightly put off but knew that Matin was right. The snow was still falling, and the cold had begun to eat into his bones. Positive thinking wouldn't keep them alive for very long.
"Not to mention with the priestess missing. Everyone at the monastery will be worrying about us all night. We should still try to get back, right?" Matin suggested.
"Nah, from here on out I'm a priestess in exile!" Addi said, placing her hands on her hips and proudly standing at the edge of a cliff.
"Just for one more night." She finished in a barely audible whisper.
"I'm kinda with Matin on this one, though." Dean said. "We'll freeze to death if we don't find some shelter."
Out in the open like this, the snow blew into their faces, and Dean could feel his nose growing numb.
"Well, don't worry about that. I know a place that will give us a little shelter." Addi said assuredly.
"All the way out here?" Matin asked.
"I'm the priestess." Add replied, "I know all and see all. Which means I'm pretty much a divine being, so place your trust in me, child of man."
With that said, Addi turned and started walking along the cliffside and up the mountain. Matin gave her a withering look.
"She shouldn't treat her position so lightly." He said with concern.
"Oh let her off. She's enjoying the freedom while she can."
He hoped that one day she would have the freedom to enjoy this sort of thing every day.
Progress was slow as they hiked carefully up the mountain. The path had grown icy, and the wind had picked up strength. Dean noticed Matin struggling with the backpack he had carried all day.
"Here, let me carry that for a while." Dean suggested, taking hold of the bag.
Matin looked at him gratefully.
"Thank you." He said, giving the bag to Dean.
Dean felt the weight of the bag on his shoulders as he slipped it on. It felt as if there were a stack of bricks inside.
"You've been carrying this all day?" He asked in surprise.
Matin nodded.
"Just in case of an emergency."
Dean was surprised. He would have collapsed from exhaustion ages ago with this thing on his back. No wonder Matin had kept falling over. Perhaps he had given his friend too little credit. What was he carrying around?
Night was truly upon them as the path before them forked. One path continued up the mountain, while another, even smaller path went down the cliffside.
"Here we are." Addi announced as she went down the lower path.
"And just in time too." Matin observed.
The path was narrower than the one above but only continued for a very short while before a hole appeared in the cliff side.
"A cave?" Matin asked.
"Yep." Addi replied.
Both Dean and Matin had switched on their phone lights and were using them to peer into the hollow. To Dean's surprise, the stone walls and floor had been smoothed out, though it was difficult to see anything else.
"It's so dark, it's hard to see things even with our phone lights." Dean complained.
"One second." Matin said.
He stepped behind Dean and opened the zipper on his bag. He reached inside and pulled out a large yellow flashlight.
"This should help." He said and switched it on.
The cave illuminated, revealing what appeared to be a simple hallway. At the end of the hallway was a large wooden door.
"What is this place?" Dean wondered aloud.
"Not sure," Addi replied. "But I guess you can think of it as a hermit's retreat?"
"You really are a fan of quiet places, aren't you?" Dean asked.
"Not really. I just think it's a pretty cool secret place." Addi sniffed.
"How did you find this place?" Matin asked.
"Uh, well. It's actually part of the Monastery. It's been abandoned for a long time though, just like our old base."
Upon reaching the door, she pulled back the latch and pushed the door open. It creaked and gave some resistance but eventually opened. Inside was a small room with what Dean could only describe as furniture carved from the rock itself spread around. There was a raised flat surface resembling a bed and a couple of stone blocks that would serve decently well as chairs and tables. A damp smell permeated the room, and while it was warmer than the exposed cliff, it was still quite cool inside.
"It's not exactly luxury, but it sure beats being outside right now," Addi said.
"This place looks old." Matin said as he pushed aside some cobwebs next to the stone table.
"There's a bunch of long abandoned buildings around here aside from our old base. The Monastery was probably a lot bigger in the past," Addi said.
Dean noticed a depression in the center of the room. A pile of ashes and burned wood. Looking up, he could see a hole in the roof.
"A fireplace. This all feels a little too perfect." Dean muttered. "Well, I'm not going to complain. Shelter is shelter."
In the corner of the room, Matin was digging through his backpack. He pulled out some blankets,a couple of thermos flasks, snacks and even some flint and tinder.
"You're crazy prepared." Dean observed with his mouth hanging open.
He couldn't have known they'd be sleeping rough, could he?
"Matin's always reliable!" Addi said happily. "Careful, Dean, you might actually be the most useless person here."
Dean gave her his most fearsome scowl, which Addi easily ignored.
Dean felt himself bristle despite himself.
"You never know when you might need stuff like this. I never go into the mountains without them."
"Will you be my husband?" Addi asked, grabbing Matin by the hand.
Matin tried to pull his hand away in fright. He spluttered out a few incoherent words in response.
"Leave him alone Addi, you'll give the poor guy a heart attack."
"But he looks like the kind who'd stay at home and cook for you every day. So reliable." She grumbled.
"You shouldn't mess around like that," Matin complained. "Think of your position."
Addi scoffed but said no more. Silence fell as they went through the things Matin had brought.
After they were finished, Dean was ready to lie down for a while, but Addi just had to point out a problem.
"Oh, would you look at that, we have stuff to light the fire but no fuel, whatever shall we do?" Addi exclaimed in mock despair. She glanced at Dean expectantly. Sighing, he got to his feet.
"Fine, fine. I'll go get some wood," He said.
"Just because you knew how to find this place, you think you're useful." He muttered quietly.
"What was that?" Addi asked.
"Nothing, nothing." Dean said, waving his hands.
"Here, take this. You'll need it more than us," Matin said, handing Dean the torch.
"Uh, thanks."
"Make sure to get a couple of small twigs too and be careful!" Matin shouted as Dean left the room.
Stepping outside, Dean could appreciate the shelter offered by the cave. Feeling the icy wind bite into him, he hugged himself and set off up the path and back into the forest. The torchlight lit the way, and he carefully scanned the ground, looking for suitable burning material.
The snow and the tree trunks were all that he could see as he walked around, careful not to lose sight of the cliff. As he continued pointing the torch this way and that, the light illuminated something that didn't look like a tree or bush.
Was that a person?
Dean quickly shone the light back towards where he thought he saw the figure.
"Hello, who's there?"
No reply.
"Nicolas?"
Silence.
Dean could hear his own heart beating and his shallow breaths as he stood there, stiff as a statue.
"Come on, man. You're just letting the dark get to you." He whispered to himself.
Crack
The sound of snapping twigs reached his ears.
He pointed the torch from left to right. To his surprise, the light once again illuminated the figure of a person in the distance.
They were extremely difficult to make out amongst the tress and they were cloaked, obscuring their face.
"Nicolas, is that you?" he asked again.
The figure looked at him, and Dean could just about make out its lower face. The skin was white and blistered, the lips red as blood. Its mouth moved, whispering something before the person or whatever it was melted into the darkness of the forest.
Dean stood there alone, the cold of the night completely forgotten. He didn't even think of chasing the figure down. He stood there for who knows how long.
You're letting yourself have fun even after everything you did? Aren't you missing the point a little?
That was what he had heard the figure whisper. At least, he thought he heard it. It almost felt as if the words came directly from his own mind. Was the figure real or just a product of his memories? It didn't matter.
Without thinking, he turned on his heels and began running back to the cliffside cave.
His mind was numb as he ran. He could hear a small rustling in the trees but paid it no mind as he made his way to the cave. His shaking hand struggled to push the wooden door open, and he stumbled into the room.
Both Addi and Matin turned to face him as he entered.
They were still here.
"You got the wood, great. I was starting to freeze in here." Addi said.
Dean didn't reply. Walking into the room, he dropped the wood next to the hearth and proceeded towards the raised platform resembling a bed. He fell onto the bed and covered his face with his hands, breathing quickly.
"Dean, what's wrong?" Addi asked.
Both Addi and Matin approached him where he sat.
"He's shaking. Hey! What happened?" Matin asked.
Again, Dean didn't reply. He felt tears slowly stream down his cheeks. What was the matter with him? He didn't understand.
"He must have seen something. He's terrified." Martin said worriedly.
"This isn't like him. Even considering our situation. I wonder...," Addi said.
He felt pain in his chest. Shame and guilt. What could he do to atone? Atone for what? Why was he feeling this way? Why?
Get away from me, you filthy beggar!
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." He whispered as he held his head in his hands.
"No, he's not terrified." Addi whispered, sitting down next to him.
"Not terrified, are you sure?" Matin asked. "If that's the case, then what's wrong with him?"
"I'd ask that you don't question it further." Addi said. "It'll be much better for him if we just let this pass."
"I see..." Matin said, sounding not at all convinced.
Dean felt something lean against him and wrap around his back. It was Addi's arm.
"It's ok, it's ok." She whispered. "It wasn't your fault."
It was faint, but Dean could feel a warmth coming from those words. The pain lessened, if only a bit.
"I didn't know..." He murmured incoherently.
"That's right."
"Even still, I..."
"Shh, it's ok. The fact that the memory still remains means you're still you. It's a good thing."
Slowly, a small orange glow began to appear. The crackling of the fire filled the silence, and Dean relaxed a little.
"Thanks, Matin." Addi said.
"With this, we shouldn't freeze to death at least," Matin said. "Even so, we're going to need more wood."
"I hate to ask, but could you go out this time?" Addi asked.
"Sure, it's best if you stay here."
There was a tremor in Matin's voice, betraying the fear he must have felt inside.
"Well, I'll be off."
Dean didn't see, but he could hear their conversation and Matin's steps as he left the room. Silence descended on the room with only the fire willing to break it. Dean found himself leaning against the person next to him, borrowing their strength for a moment.
Slowly, Dean could feel himself drifting off. He hadn't noticed because of the tension, but his body was exhausted. He had been hiking all day, and even the unyielding stone surface felt comfortable.
"I'll be here, so get some rest. I won't be going anywhere."
Those were the last words Dean heard before his consciousness drifted off.
In his sleep, he dreamed.
It was a dream as clear as day to the point that it could have been a memory. No, it was a memory. One he was doing his utmost to forget.
He stood in a walled garden. Huge, ornate buildings of carved marble loomed all around. Everything was silent. Wasn't this a city? If so, where were the people?
No, wait. There was a person a little off in the distance. They were sitting under an oak tree, with a book in their lap. They were focused on reading and hadn't seen him. Their face was obscured by long black hair.
"Hey, whatcha reading?" He asked.
His voice was much higher than he remembered.
Before he knew it, he was standing before the person.
She looked up, eyes wide, one yellow and one blue.
"Hey, do you like books?"
Dean gasped and fell backwards into total darkness.