It was an unusually sunny day in Normalville.
The sky was blue, the birds were doing backflips, and four kids were pushing a half-broken shopping cart full of soggy fireworks down a slanted sidewalk.
Kylee: Why is that sign flashing "WALK" and "DIE" at the same time?
Trey: Because Normalville runs on pain and poor decisions.
Kord: Pretty sure it means "walk fast or die."
Kinni: Mrrrghhh... Street-Kun will guide ush...
Kylee: Who the hell is Street-Kun?
Trey: He's back on his weeb crap again. Just ignore him.
Kord: Nah, let him cook. This is the same dude who made out with a stop sign last week.
Kinni: That washn't a kiss. It wash… a ritual...
They reach the crosswalk. The light's blinking weirdly. One side says "WALK." The other just flashes a skull emoji.
Kinni: (stepping into the street) I trust Street-Kun with my shoul! She'll never let me die!
Kylee: You literally died last week.
Trey: Bro got smoked by a Segway.
Kord: And a shopping cart the week before that.
Kinni: Thoseh were... flukesh! Shhhhe protectsh meeee!!
Suddenly, they hear it.
Dubstep. Tires screeching. A voice screaming "SIRI, PLAY HELL MIX 3000."
A van comes RIPPING around the corner. It has no windows and a sticker that says:
"I BRAKE FOR NO ONE"
Kylee: OH MY GOD KINNI MOVE!!
Trey: DUDE YOU'RE GONNA GET FLATTENED!!
Kord: DO A BARREL ROLL!!!
Kinni:STREEEET-KUUUUUUNNNN—
💥💥💥 SPLAT. 💥💥💥
Silence.
A half-eaten sandwich lands in the street. A single flip-flop spins like a fidget spinner.
Kylee: Oh my god…Trey: They killed Kinni!Kord: You bastards!
CUT TO: School Nurse's Office
The nurse walks in holding a clipboard and a melted backpack.
Nurse: So… bad news. And worse news.
Kylee: Hit us.
Nurse: He's dead. Again.
Trey: Obviously.
Kord: For real this time?
Nurse: Define "real."
Kylee: Wait, like... how much of him is left?
Nurse: Enough to fill a lunchbox. And maybe... a sock.
Trey: Damn. That's more than last time.
CUT TO: Cafeteria Funeral
There's a shoebox on the table. It says "KINNI 😵" written in Sharpie. Inside are some fireworks, a pair of ripped jeans, and a melted Game Boy.
Kylee: We gather here today to honor the weirdest little gremlin we ever knew.
Trey: He lived like a cartoon and died like roadkill.
Kord: Again.
Kylee: Anyone wanna say anything?
Kord: I printed his poem to Street-Kun. Want me to read it?
Trey: Only if you want me to vomit.
Kylee: Pass. Just… moment of silence, I guess.
Kinni's voice (echoing in memory):Shhtreet-Kun ish my waifu…
They start tossing stuff into the box.
Kylee: (drops in a note) He wrote me this once. It just says "ur hot -Kinni" in ketchup.
Trey: (drops in a DS cartridge) He stole this from me. Now I steal it back. In spirit.
Kord: (drops in a McNugget) He never finished this. I feel like it's symbolic.
Kylee: Should we light it?
Trey: He'd want it. He was the fire hazard.
Kord: Fire him up.
Kord lights the corner of the box. It smolders... then sparks...
Then…
💥💥💥 BOOOOOOOM. 💥💥💥
A full-on fireworks show bursts from the shoebox, launching Cheetos, paperclips, and what looks like a hamster tooth into the ceiling.
Kylee: WHAT THE HELL WAS IN HIS BODY?!
Trey: He HID fireworks in his corpse?!
Kord: He really was the firework...
Trey:"Baby you're a firewo—"
Kylee: Shut up before I throw you into the box too.
FINAL SHOT:
Ash rains down. Someone coughs up a Lego.
In the silence, faintly, as if from another world...
Kinni (ghost voice):Street-Kuuuuuuuuun… I'm comiiiingggg…