A snake walked into a bar.
The bartender said, "How did you do that?"
That's it. That's the joke.
And if you didn't laugh, I am sorry.
I'll try my best to do it, don't worry.
Next time, I'll just throw a banana peel and wait.
Anyway—back to the the damn story.
I GOT A SYSTEM.
Yeah. Took me 24 hours of surviving in this bootleg daycare called Moral to earn it.
If you weren't paying attention, that's the name of the world.
And yes, I know you weren't paying attention. Wanna know how I know?
Because you didn't even catch the two 'the' I used back to back earlier in the seventh para.
That wasn't a typo.
It was a trap.
And you failed, peasant.
Now, no more stalling. Let's open the damn thing:
[ Congratulations, you fulfilled the condition to acquire the system! ]
[ You survived 24 hours in this World called Moral and hence you are being rewarded with Overpoweredness! ]
[ Before knowing what you got, someone would like to have a word with you. ]
Oh C'mon.
Why this Netflix filler arc? Who now?
[ It's me, Racis. ]
That voice is deep as hell.
Sounds like Morgan Freeman ate Batman and coughed.
Still, I preferred the robotic voice. This guy sounds like he narrates shampoo ads in Valhalla.
Anyway—
'Hi, Me. What's up?'
[ My name is not Me. I am Supreme Man. ]
'Supreme Man? That's just lazy writing.'
[ Stop trying to make everything funny and please listen to me for a second. ]
Oh, I have to make it funny, Supreme Man. They crave the cringe.
'Speak anyway.'
[ I am Supreme Man and I am a kind of a God of this World. It was me who sent you here. ]
'So it was you. Couldn't you find a family with at least average iq? I almost died twice here by my own parents.'
[ That's why you got a system for surviving the first 24 hours. ]
'So now they'll stop acting dumb?'
[ Nah. They're dumb for life. You'll have to live with it. ]
Great. The family reunion's just gonna be me dodging milk, piss, and goblin quotes.
[ Right. So I am the sole God of this world and I saw your life on Earth and felt bad. So I am giving you a second chance here. ]
'Okay?'
[ I created this world as a slice of life type of thing but soon, it became sci-fi and all. ]
'Just tell everything in one go.'
[ Alright. TLDR: This world—Moral was happy and prosperous. But some beings from another planet, we call them aliens, invaded 10 years ago and stole 2 of our 7 continents like it was Pokémon territory. The remaining 5 continents have the Original residents. The aliens are strong, cruel and what not. They want the whole planet. They kill humans like it's Black Friday. So I gave powers to a bunch of people. Called them Heroes. Their job is to yeet the aliens outta here or erase them from existence. ]
Wow. That escalated from "slice of life" to "Attack on Titan but with goblins and questionable parenting."
[ I know you wanted to become a comedian and have a wife, money, fame and other things. But there are bigger things than comedy. I am giving you the strongest of the powers to defeat those aliens. You will be overpowered here. And you will be called the Hero King. The king of all heroes. You will free this world from those aliens and make it this world a slice of life setting again. ]
'Hero King? Sounds like a shampoo brand for male pattern baldness. Can't you just kill the aliens?'
[ I can't. You're the MC. Lore rules. ]
'Right. But I can't just stop comedy. I have to change the title if I quit it.'
[ Do what you must. Just get rid of the damn aliens. ]
'Alright. Anything else?'
[ No. You may check your system now. ]
'That I'll do. But I want my name to be the same as it was on Earth. My grandma gave me that.'
[ Granted. ]
'Thanks. Now go. Your job is done. Come back when I need some plot armor.'
[ Sure. ]
Supreme Man went away and the robotic voice of the system came back.
[ You will now see your status. ]
'Show me.' And yes, I was talking through my mind. If you didn't get that by now, you're dumber than a hamster on cocaine.
A shining window appeared in front of my eyes like some mobile app made by God on crack and
[ Strength : 9999999999e+1000000 ]
[ Speed : 9999999999e+1000000 ]
[ Aura : Infinite ]
[ Rizz : K-Drama Final Boss ]
[ Everything Else : 9999999999e+1000000 ]
[ You can turn these on/off at will. ]
'Bro. Who slammed their face on the keyboard while coding this? Turn all this OFF for now. I don't wanna sneeze and destroy the house. It's a hut, not a Minecraft build.'
[ Stats turned off. Now showing skills. These cannot be disabled. ]
'Cool. Let's go. Show me the circus.'
[ Your Skills are as follows : ]
[ Nail cutter, Talkative, Tike Myson, Horn Pub, Dig Bick, Steel Balls, Architect, Engineer, Bar Dancer, Stripper, Magma Magnate, Mosquito Propeller, Siuuu, Only Fans, Acid rain, WWE, Master Chef, Mr. Beast, P Diddy, Copy Paste, Touch Grass, Thug Life, A Minor, Thousand Suns, Sword King, Thesaurus, Jurassic Park Experience, Dragon's Breath, Prince Charming, Stage Lover, Imagin- ]
'Stop. Stop. Abort. What in the name of illegal internet is this?'
[ These are your Skills. ]
'Skills? Some of them are war crimes. "Dig Bick"? "Only Fans"? What the hell even is "Mosquito Propeller"? What's P diddy doing there? And "A Minor"? Bro, I'm a baby, not a walking legal trap. What is this, Kendrick Lamar's diss track generator? You just casually threw "Mr. Beast," "WWE," and "Master Chef" in there like copyright law and Gordon Ramsey doesn't exist. Especially Gordon Ramsey. I don't want to call myself an idiot sandwich.'
[ There are still some skills left to see. ]
'Of course there are. Just tell me how many. Give me the number of sins I've been cursed with.'
[ 6969. ]
'... Welp, I can't complain with that number now.'
[ Want to see them all? ]
'Nah. Let them rest. I'll discover them naturally—like herpes. No need to speedrun trauma.'
To be honest, I did read every skill eventually. I had the time.
I mean… What else was I supposed to do?
I'm a baby. My Netflix is staring at the ceiling and dodging unsolicited boobs.
But some Skills are good. I won't explain them all of course.
If I start explaining each skill, considering your attention span, you'll be six tabs deep into actual "6969" before I finish one paragraph.
So let's just move on.
Now that I know what I can do…
Let's test it.
But first, of course…
Time skip.
DAY 3 IN MORAL.
I woke up today and didn't cry.
No screaming. No chaos. Just… awareness.
At the corner of the hut.
There she was.
My biological milk dispenser.
My dear mother. Cooking something questionable.
And I, your 3 days old overpowered baby MC… am hungry.
Now a normal baby would cry.
Whine. Wiggle. Maybe release another golden shower.
But not me.
Because today… I used a skill.
The skill was:
"Hey mom, bring that boobie here."
...
I can speak now.
And that's how this nightmare begins.