What I if told you,
You the read first line wrong?
Same the with second line!
And also the third.
A blonde, blue-eyed Hero was kneeling in front of me like he was auditioning for a very wrong movie and told me to cum.
Of course I won't do that.
"What do you mean?" I asked, clutching my dignity like it was the last biscuit in a tea break.
The Hero smiled like an HR manager about to fire you with a motivational quote. "You have to come with us."
"Oh. You meant come. My bad. Anyway, stand up first. You're making eye contact with my sin region."
All the ten Heroes stood up.
"You guys are strong. Like steroid-injected protein bars. You can handle the Aliens. Why drag my sexy self into this?"
"Yes. We can defeat the Aliens. But you, my lord, you killed an Awakened Alien. The deadliest breed. We need you."
He is calling me 'my lord'? If he called me that again I might really cum. But I don't want to get into this fighting business.
"Look, man. I don't wanna go. I'm vibing here. I want to do comedy shows. Make people laugh. Maybe start a podcast. Not die."
Why am I explaining my career goals like we're on a blind date? Ah yes, word count.
"You can do shows with us. We have countless soldiers under us. They also have powers. You can become a comedian while being the Hero King." Blue Eyes said like this was a LinkedIn pitch.
"Countless soldiers? Do they also have superpowers?"
I thought powers were like exclusive NFT drops from Supreme Man. Only the chosen get 'em.
"Yes, my lord. They also have powers but not as good as us Heroes and not as nearly as good as you."
I see. So it's a power pyramid scheme. But if they have countless soldiers...
It seems the blue eyed hero figured what I was thinking as he said :
"Yes, my lord. Countless soldiers mean a bigger audience. This village has, like, five people and a cow. We got armies. You'll go global, my lord."
Now he's speaking my love language. I am very close to accepting the offer. But I don't want to leave my grandma.
"And there are many girls too."
"I am in."
The Hero's face lit up like a pervert finding a rare doujin. "Really?"
"Yes."
I was in. I wanted a love life. In my previous life, my right hand had lost all its lines due to the lack of any girls in my life. I had to resort to my left hand because of that.
But not this time. I am bestowed good looks by the Supreme Man. I have six packs, I am the Hero king, I am also being recruited at some kind of government job right now. No matter how you see it, I am a green flag, heck I am a rainforest.
I turned to the audience.
"Everyone, I am leaving." I announced.
The audience stood up from their seats.
"Sure." That's all they said.
Though, my family cried.
"Take care, my son."
"Keep drinking milk."
"You never drank my milk but you will be fine."
My father was still stuck on making me drink his milk. How will he even do that? What kind of porn he watched growing up?
Anyway, they'd survive. They were all lovable idiots. My grandma, though… she had my heart.
She wiped her tears.
"Take care. You're God's chosen. Just don't forget this wrinkled ol' hag."
I smiled. "Don't worry. I will send all of you money regularly. Just stay happy. And make sure grandpa doesn't do any Orcs. He won't be able to satisfy those women."
Everyone laughed and I turned to the Heroes. "So, who's the leader?"
Blue Eyes stepped forward.
"It's me, my lord."
"You are?"
"Erect."
Pardon? Why are you erect right now? Wait..
"Is that your name?" I asked.
"Yes, my lord. I am Erect."
No wonder his first dialogue was cum.
"Forget it. You guys can fly, right?"
They all nodded like pigeons on cocaine.
"Then show me where you live."
"But you should at least have some armor or something. A weapon too. The Aliens can attack anytime where we live. That's why we brought a sword and armor with us."
Erect reached into literal air and pulled out a golden armor and a broadsword.
A BROADSWORD? Bro thinks I'm Guts from Berserk. I ain't swinging around a skyscraper with a handle.
"I got my own thing. Watch this."
The Supreme Man alloted me 6969 skills, so I used one of them right now.
[ Protection From Penetration ]
Ignore the name but as the other Skills, this one is also useful.
A sleek black armor wrapped around me like a forbidden lover, with twin swords on my back. I looked like a walking "Do Not Disturb" sign at a BDSM club.
"With this," I whispered, "no one can penetrate me."
Erect nodded solemnly.
"You are truly our King, my lord."
"Of course. Now take off, bird boys. I'll follow."
SWISH!
The Ten Heroes yeeted themselves into the sky like fireworks full of daddy issues.
I looked at the audience one last time.
"Stay safe. Don't miss me too much. Except you, grandma. You can miss me an unhealthy amount."
They waved. I felt the emotion rising—but nope, no tears. I had flying to do.
I activated another Skill:
[ Dodge The Towers ]
This is the name of the Skill that helps me fly and I don't want to get too much into the details of its name. Like, why does it mention towers when it's related to something like flying in the air.
WHOOSH!
I zoomed into the sky like an unpaid intern late to work.
Erect was flying in the front and I joined beside him.
"Where we going?"
"All the ten Heroes of this Continent, Titilis live in the biggest Country."
"What's the name of the biggest country?" I asked, already knowing the name would be outrageous.
Erect smiled.
"K Cup."