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Live but Die with the Pain of Regret

Ufuoma_Jackson
7
chs / week
The average realized release rate over the past 30 days is 7 chs / week.
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Synopsis
Live but Die with the Pain of Regret is a haunting exploration of ambition, the illusion of wealth, and the devastating realization that the things we take for granted are the only things we can't buy back. It is a story of a man who conquered the world, only to find he was the only one left standing in it.
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Chapter 1 - Chapter 1: The Boy Who Dreamed Big

Rain fell heavily over the quiet town of Ashford, a relentless downpour that seemed intent on washing the very colour out of the world. The sky was a bruised purple, dark and restless, and the rhythmic drumming of raindrops striking the rusted tin roofs echoed through the narrow, mud-slicked streets like a thousand tiny hammers. Small houses stood huddled together for warmth, their wooden walls grey and worn from decades of surviving storms that the townspeople simply called "life."

In Ashford, the rain wasn't just weather; it was a thief. It stole the heat from the hearths, the health from the elderly, and the hope from the young. For most, the cycle was as predictable as the tides. Wake up before the sun. Work until the bones ache. Earn just enough to do it all again tomorrow. It was a town of modest people with modest ends, a place where ambition was often seen as a dangerous sickness.

Inside one of the smallest houses at the very edge of the settlement, where the pavement ended and the wild grass began, a young boy sat hunched over a scarred wooden table. A lone, dim lantern flickered beside him, its wick struggling against the draft that whistled through the gaps in the window frame. The light cast long, dancing shadows across the room, making the modest furniture look like giants looming over him.

The boy, Daniel Hart, was twelve years old, but his eyes held a weight that didn't belong to childhood. He didn't look at the shadows. He didn't look at the peeling wallpaper or the damp patches on the floor. He leaned over a thick, worn-out book, his fingers tracing the faded ink of the sentences with the reverence of a priest handling a holy relic. To anyone else, it was just an old textbook on economics and history, discarded by a travelling merchant years ago. To Daniel, these pages were a map out of the darkness.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

A leak in the corner of the ceiling hit the bottom of a metal bucket with a hollow, mocking sound. The floor beneath Daniel's bare feet was ice-cold, and a shiver ran up his spine, but he didn't pull away. He didn't even blink. He was a master of ignoring the present in favour of a future that only he could see.

For as long as he could remember, "struggle" was the first language he had learned. He watched his father, Thomas, a man who had once stood tall and laughed loudly, grow bent and calloused. Thomas spent his days in a cramped shed, repairing the broken tools and rusted machines of people who had only slightly more than they did. It was a life of fixing things that were destined to break again.

Daniel watched his mother's hands, too. Mary's hands were once soft, he imagined, but now they were red and raw from scrubbing the linens of the wealthy families who lived on the hill—the families who owned the mills and the land. Her back ached constantly from the weight of the water she carried, yet she never complained. She simply hummed a low, sad tune and kept working.

Sometimes, dinner was nothing more than a thin slice of bread and a bowl of watery broth that tasted of nothing but salt and disappointment. On those nights, Daniel would look at his parents' tired faces—the way they avoided eye contact to hide their shame—and feel a cold, hard knot form in his chest. It wasn't sadness. Sadness was for the weak. It was a quiet, burning rage against the gravity of poverty that sought to pull them all into the dirt.

The silence of the house was broken as the front door groaned on its hinges, letting in a swirl of mist and the sharp, metallic smell of wet earth. Thomas stepped inside, a shadow of a man. His coat was soaked through, clinging to his thin frame, and his toolbox weighed him down like an anchor.

"Daniel," Thomas called, his voice raspy and hollow from the cold.

Daniel looked up, his mind snapping back from a world of high finance, stock markets, and empire-building. "Yes, Father. You're late tonight. Was there more work at the forge?"

Thomas sat heavily in the chair opposite his son, the wood groaning in protest under his weight. He didn't answer immediately. He just stared at the flickering lantern. "You're burning the oil, son. We don't have much to spare this week. The price of kerosene went up in the market today."

"I'm almost done with the chapter on industrial trade," Daniel said, his voice steady despite the hunger gnawing at his stomach. "If I understand how the markets work, Father—if I understand why the prices go up—I can understand how to beat them. I won't just be another person paying the price. I'll be the one setting it."

Thomas sighed, a long, weary sound that seemed to carry the weight of the entire town. "You have the mind of a scholar, Daniel. I see that. Your teachers see it too. But Ashford doesn't need scholars. It doesn't have room for them. This town needs mechanics. It needs hands that can work, backs that can carry, and spirits that don't break when the rain comes."

"I don't want to work with my hands, Father," Daniel said, closing the book with a soft, final thud. The sound echoed in the small room. "I've seen what working with hands does. It makes them bleed. It makes them shake. I want to work with my mind. One day, I will build a house where the roof never leaks. I'll buy you a coat that never lets the rain in. You and Mom... you won't have to carry anything heavy ever again. I'll hire people to carry things for you."

Thomas reached out, his rough, grease-stained hand hovering over Daniel's small, clean one. He wanted to believe him. He wanted to scream with joy that his son had such fire. But he had seen that fire in other boys, only to see the rain of Ashford douse it out year after year.

"Money is a tool, Daniel," Thomas said, his voice dropping to a whisper. "It's like a hammer. It can build a gorgeous house, or it can smash your fingers if you aren't careful. If you chase it too hard, you'll forget why you wanted it in the first place. Don't let the hunger for it eat your heart before you even get a taste of it."

Daniel nodded, but his eyes stayed fixed on the cover of the book. He didn't see a hammer. He saw a key. A golden key. And he was going to use it to lock the door on Ashford forever, even if he had to melt his own soul to forge it.

"Go to bed, Daniel," Thomas said, standing up with a groan. "Your mother will be home soon. She had extra shifts at the Manor. We'll eat then."

Daniel retreated to his small corner of the house, lying on a thin mattress that smelled of straw and dampness. He stared at the ceiling, tracing the water stains in the dark. He wasn't thinking about the soup. He was thinking about the "Lion of the Frontier"—a story he had read about a man who conquered a kingdom, starting with nothing but a sword and a dream.

I don't need a sword; Daniel whispered to the darkness. I just need a chance.

He closed his eyes, drifting into a fitful sleep where he was surrounded by glass and steel, and the sound of rain was replaced by the clinking of coins.

Hours later, a sound woke him. It wasn't the rain. It wasn't the drip in the bucket.

It was the sound of a heavy carriage—something rare in the mud-clogged streets of Ashford—stopping right outside their door. Then came a frantic, rhythmic knocking.

"Thomas Hart! Thomas, open up!" a voice cried out from the storm. It was the voice of the town constable, and it was laced with a terror that Daniel had never heard before.

Daniel sat up, his heart hammering against his ribs. Through the thin wall, he heard his father scramble to the door.

"What is it? What's happened?" Thomas shouted over the wind.

"It's the Manor, Thomas! There's been an accident at the laundry vats... the boiler exploded. Your wife... Mary..."

The world seemed to stop. The rhythmic drip-drip-drip of the leak suddenly sounded like a ticking clock. Daniel scrambled out of bed, his feet hitting the cold floor, but he froze in the doorway of his room.

His father was standing by the open front door, the rain lashing against his face, his toolbox still sitting on the table. Thomas looked at the constable, then slowly turned his head to look at Daniel.

In that moment, the boy didn't see a father. He saw a man who had finally been broken. And in Daniel's heart, the rage against poverty didn't just burn—it exploded.

"Is she...?" Thomas couldn't finish the sentence.

The constable looked at the ground, his hat dripping in his hands. "You need to come now, Thomas. They say there's a doctor coming from the city, but... he's asking for a deposit. A massive one. They won't treat the workers without it."

Daniel gripped the doorframe until his knuckles turned white. The key. He needed the key. But he was only twelve, and the world was already demanding a price he couldn't pay.

"How much?" Daniel's voice cracked through the room, cold and sharp.

The constable looked at the young boy, startled. "More than this whole street earns in a year, son."

As his father collapsed into a chair, wailing in a way that sounded like a dying animal, Daniel Hart stood perfectly still. He looked at his book on the table. He looked at the leaking roof.

The suspense of the unknown future had vanished, replaced by a terrifying reality: the climb had started, and the first step was going to cost him everything he loved.