***Disclaimer: the story, scenarios, names and people in this story are totally fictional and completely made up and any noticeable similarities are just a coincidence.***
TRIGGER WARNINGS:
Abuse
Addiction
Sexually Explicit Content
PTSD
Bullying
Gun violence
Vicious Murders
Deadly Deaths
Sex, Drugs, and Alcohol
Very vulgar Language
Red Flags
Discussions of Sexual Assault (But no assault and no rape)
~This Book has a Playlist and at the begging of certain chapters the song will be listed. Play the song while you read. Some chapters will prompt you when to play the song.
~If the words are in "Italics" it's in Korean. English translations will be provided. Translations provided by google translate.
~The male lead does not stay an entitled prick. Give him a chance, he may surprise you.
***************************************************
New York City, USA
~Phoebe~
Fear flooded my veins seeping into my bones. I was trembling. Trying to keep my breathing even and staying alert ready to fight or fly.
*SMASH*
"You, useless, stupid girl!"
"You should have died with her!"
*CRASH*
My Abeoji yells at me from across the living room, chucking another empty beer bottle at me.
I duck and cover my head just in time, the bottle smashing the wall, shattering behind me. Glass littered the floor. My bare feet nicked by the shards.
The stench of his drinking and sweat clung permanently to the walls like paint.
"She should have taken you with her when she left me, your useless mother died and left me with a useless girl. Like mother like daughter!" His words were ugly, deliberately designed to strike me where it hurts most. And it did. It always did.
Talking about my dead mother.
Reminding me of why I'm a punching bag and not his daughter.
He wanted to instigate a fight with me.
Just to have an excuse to beat me. Just another reason to hate me.
Tonight was one of those nights. He was in a drunken violent episode.
Where I'd spend the entire night fighting him off. Just trying to stay alive.
I had to fight through the fear, through the terror, the tears, the hurt. I had to fight through it all to stay alive.
But I leave tomorrow for an overseas exchange program in Korea. Tomorrow my whole world changes.
I've worked hard for months to get the scholarship for this program. Saving every single penny, I've made from odd jobs I've worked the last year, just for this. And I refused to ruin it for me. I wasn't going to start my new life in Korea or start school with another bruised face or busted lips. No weird looks, no pity.
Not this time.
Just me. Phoebe Park, graphics and game designer in the computer program at Seoul National University.
Chucking another bottle from the coffee table. Hitting the floor in front of me. I winced, covering my head with my arms. Trapping me in a world of broken glass. The familiar sense of fear shook me.
"Why don't you just disappear already, nobody wants you! Just DIE!!" He screamed at the top of his lungs chucking another bottle. He'd run out of them now. Mad about that he flipped the coffee table.
I flinched at the sound of the wood cracking against the hard floor.
I wanted to scream back, tell him he'll get his wish, and I'll be gone soon. But knowing him, he'd find a way to ruin my plans. He didn't want me to leave. No, he wanted to keep punishing me for surviving the car accident for surviving after she left.
But not anymore. I'll leave tomorrow morning while he's at work.
Just had to get through tonight.
He started walking my way. I scrambled to get my legs and feet to cross the floor desperate to reach the safety of my room. The glass cutting up my hands and feet as I push off the ground.
But he was faster.
Yanking me back my hair, he lifted me up off the ground, my feet dangled. "You filthy Latin whore, you look just like her. Bet you'll leave me one day just like she did." He spit his venomous words in my face, spraying me with his saliva.
I cry out in pain, my scalp was burning, pulling and scratching at his hands trying to free my hair from his violent grip. Tears were threatening to burst from my eyes.
"Please, stop, let me go." I asked softly. I couldn't beg or he'd take advantage of it.
"You don't tell me what to do, I am your father, the head of this house. You will respect and obey me!" He yelled.
"Yes, Abeoji, I will be a good filial daughter I promise!" I winced with each jerk of his hand.
"That's right. Now. Get the fuck out of my sight before I change my mind." He tossed me to the ground. My knees scraping against the broken jagged edges of the glass collected on the floor. I stumble getting up to my feet, blood dripping, staining the carpet and my pants. I make a break for my room. Lock the door and push my dresser in front of the door, barricading myself in.
My breathing was haggard and uneven. Adrenaline surging through my veins.
"Fuck this shit. I'm leaving tonight, I refuse to sleep even more night under this wretched roof." I was done. I didn't have to pack much. I've been slowly putting my things into a lock box at the local bus station.
So glad our city invested in those last year. Made it easy to plan my disappearance.
I pulled out my phone and switched my sims. I texted my best friend Mouse:
[Me: It's game time. 30 minutes.]
She texted back almost instantly.
[Mouse: Gotcha babe.]
I smiled. Mouse was the best friend a girl could ask for. The number of times she came in the middle of the night to save me from my drunken dad. It was too many times to count. She never pitied me when she saw my bruises or cuts. She came from money, so she had a nice car since she turned 16. She had my luggage bag.
I stuffed the remaining things I wanted to bring in my duffel bag.
The jewelry box my mother gave me was the last thing I packed.
Right on time, Mouse shot me a text.
[Mouse: At the rendezvous point.]
I grabbed everything. And climbed out the window. Before shutting it, I gave my room one last look.
It showed the hardships I've endured over the years with this man as my father.
A broken dresser with a single missing drawer stood against the door, the scent of old wounds and mold hung in the air. There was an old, thin twin sized mattress that was lumpy and uneven from years of restless sleep and torturous nightmares. The full-length mirror was cracked along the bottom, the jagged line distorting my reflection each time I looked at myself. The holes in the walls, from angry punctures my father never bothered to fix. Each hole was a silent reminder of all the pain I've endured up to this point, stared back at me. I was never going to come back here.
I hop out of the window and crouch down low. Sprinting through the neighbors backyards to the next street over.
Mouse was sitting in her car, under a streetlight, waiting. I could see the light on her phone from the window.
I smirked. She really should get those things tinted. Everyone and their brother can see all of her business from outside.
I rush up to the car and knock on her window. She startled and looked up from her phone and smiled popping the lock.
I toss my bag in the back seat next to my two suitcases and slide into the passenger seat.
"Is that fuckin' glass in your hair. You're kidding me… What a fucking bastard…" She yelled slamming her hands on the steering wheel. Her face turned red with rage. A stark contrast to the bright blue her hair currently was.
"Yeah. He was mad his rugby team lost. And I made the mistake of existing while walking by. So, he started redecorating the room with broken beer bottles and rearranging the furniture, like he thought the coffee table would look better upside down." I sarcastically said as I replayed the nights events for her.
"I'll kill him one of these days, Bee. I swear I will." She growled with all the anger of a mama bear ready to protect her cub.
I shrugged it off. It was no big deal anymore. I was getting out; this would be all in the past now. I had a future and a life waiting just outside of this wretched shithole country.
"You need to shower before you leave and say goodbye to my parents. We can do an early breakfast; they both have shifts at the hospital in the afternoon, so this all works out better for everyone." She insisted, not leaving room for much disagreement.
"I won't argue with that. I'm starving, there's nothing to eat in the fridge but moldy sour cream and ketchup."