White. Everything was white.
The ceiling above him was white. The crisp sheets tucked around his body were white. Even the smell filling his nostrils was white, that sharp antiseptic scent mixed with the artificial sweetness of high-grade healing potions.
Kaizen stared blankly at the ceiling tiles, his mind struggling to process where he was and whether he was even still alive.
Maybe he actually died in that alley and got reincarnated.
Maybe this time he landed in a nice, peaceful slice-of-life romantic comedy where the biggest conflict was choosing which girl to take to the school festival.
'That would be nice.'
He could handle that.
"GYYAAAAAAHHH!"
A shriek that sounded like a banshee stepping barefoot on a pile of Legos tore through the peaceful silence, completely breaking his dazzling dream.
Kaizen's head snapped to the left so fast his neck cracked.
In the hospital bed right next to his, separated only by a thin curtain that someone had pulled back, lay Goon Number One. His injured leg was propped up in some kind of magical traction sling that glowed faintly with healing runes.
Standing over him was a woman wearing a nurse's uniform that looked about one size too small. She held a pair of long magical forceps that crackled with sterilization magic.
"Hold still now, if you keep wiggling around, the splinter might migrate into your bloodstream and cause a clot!"
"IT HURTS! IT HURTS SO MUCH!" the Goon sobbed, tears streaming down his face.
"Okay, on three. One... two... YOINK!"
Squelch.
The nurse yanked the greasy wooden skewer out of the Goon's thigh in one smooth, practiced motion. A small spray of blood splattered across her gloves. The Goon's eyes rolled back in his head and he passed out cold.
Kaizen tried to hold it in. He really did. But watching his tormentor get a taste of karma was too satisfying.
"Pfft."
The sound escaped before he could stop it.
The nurse's head turned toward him. At the same moment, the Goon's head popped back up like a jack-in-the-box. Apparently he had only half-fainted from the pain. His eyes were bloodshot and streaming with tears.
Those watery eyes locked onto Kaizen.
"YOU!" The Goon screeched, lifting one trembling finger to point accusingly across the room. "You absolute demon! You psychopath! What kind of monster stabs another human being with a sausage stick?!"
"The kind of person who just watched you kick his dinner into a dumpster," Kaizen shot back, his voice coming out hoarse and scratchy. "That skewer had more value than your honor ever will."
"I'll kill you!" Foam actually appeared at the corners of the Goon's mouth. "When I get out of this hospital bed, I'm reporting everything to Lord Lance! You're a dead man walking! Do you hear me?! DEAAAA..."
Slap.
The nurse gently but very firmly slapped the Goon back into unconsciousness. His head lolled to the side and soft snores started emanating from his open mouth.
"Quiet time," she said with a pleasant smile.
She turned to face Kaizen, reaching up to adjust her glasses with one blood-stained glove. Her name tag read in neat letters: Head Nurse Jenny.
Kaizen's entire body went stiff. He remembered this character from the game lore. Nurse Jenny, the woman who enjoyed her job just a little bit too much.
There were rumors that she kept the more interesting tumors and growths she removed in specimen jars on her office desk. Some students swore they saw her talking to them during her lunch break.
"Oh good, you're awake!" Jenny beamed at him, walking over to his bedside with cheerful steps. "How are we feeling today, Mr. Stick-Ninja?"
She reached out and poked his chest with one finger.
Kaizen flinched hard, bracing himself for the explosion of pain from his broken ribs.
Nothing happened.
He blinked in confusion and looked down at his torso. His ribs didn't hurt at all. His face didn't feel swollen anymore.
He reached up to touch his left cheek where that muddy mana-enhanced fist had connected with enough force to launch him into a garbage pile. The skin was completely smooth. There wasn't even a bruise or any tenderness.
"I'm... I'm completely healed?" Kaizen stared at his hands in disbelief. "But I remember my HP dropping into the negatives..."
"You were an absolute mess when they brought you in!" Jenny giggled, flipping through the papers on her clipboard. "Three broken ribs, a fractured ulna, severe concussion, internal bleeding. But nothing a little Grade-B Healing Potion and some regeneration magic couldn't fix! You young people heal so remarkably fast."
She leaned in close to examine his eyes, checking his pupil dilation. Her own eyes were a swirling, unnatural shade of green that seemed to shift and move like liquid.
"Though I have to say," she whispered conspiratorially, shaking her head with an amused smirk. "Boys these days are always so eager to play with their sticks in public places."
Kaizen blinked several times.
She was talking about the skewer. She definitely meant the wooden skewer he used as a weapon. That was the only logical interpretation. He was absolutely not going to overthink this statement or consider any alternative meanings.
"It was self-defense," Kaizen muttered.
"Of course, of course it was," she said with a knowing wink. She scribbled something on his medical chart. Kaizen was fairly certain she had just written 'Psychologically Unstable' with a note to keep a close eye on him.
"Anyway, you should really thank your guardian angel," Jenny said, gesturing toward the corner of the room with her pen. "He's the one who carried both of you here. Actually stacked you on his shoulders like you were logs of firewood. Very impressive upper body strength for someone his age."
Kaizen's blood ran cold.
Guardian angel? Who would carry him to the infirmary? Cedric had made it crystal clear that he found Kaizen's weakness disgusting. That white-haired jerk had literally stepped over his bleeding body and walked away without a second glance.
He slowly, reluctantly turned his head toward the visitor chair sitting in the corner of the room.
Sleeping in the most awkward position imaginable, with his head lolled back against the chair and a small pool of drool gathering on his collar, was a boy with gravity-defying spiky red hair.
Leo Crimson. The Hero. The protagonist of this entire godforsaken story.
Kaizen stared at him in growing horror. The heart monitor beside his bed started beeping faster and faster.
Beep... beep... beepbeepbeepbeep.
"Why," Kaizen whispered, his voice cracking with despair. "Why is he here?"
"He found you collapsed in that alley," Jenny explained cheerfully while she fluffed his pillow. "Said he was out patrolling the campus for any signs of villainy when he heard sounds of a fight. Such a sweet, heroic boy. He's been sitting in that chair for over two hours waiting to make sure you woke up safely."
"Such is young love..."
"Ha? What? Did you say something sister?"
"What? Obviously nothing at all he he he."
"..."
Kaizen sank deeper into his mattress, wishing the bed would just swallow him whole and make him disappear.
This was bad. This was really, really bad. The protagonist had carried him to safety. That was definitely a flag event from the game.
That was the beginning of the Brotherhood Route where the protagonist and his best friend become inseparable.
Which meant Kaizen was going to end up dying in Chapter 50 while heroically shielding Leo Crimson from a Dragon's breath attack.
He was doomed. He should have just stayed unconscious. A nice peaceful coma sounded wonderful right about now.
"I need to leave," Kaizen said, trying to swing his legs out from under the sheets. "I need to transfer to a different school immediately. Maybe a farming college somewhere rural. Or a culinary institute in another country."
"Now, now, you need to stay put," Jenny chided gently, pushing him back down against the pillows with surprising strength. "You still need proper rest."
"I don't need rest, I need anonymity and distance from all story events!"
Just as Kaizen was seriously considering fighting the nurse for his freedom and making a run for it...
BAM!
The double doors leading into the infirmary flew open with enough violent force to crack the metal hinges. One of them bounced off the wall with a loud bang.
A freezing cold wind swept into the room like a miniature blizzard, instantly extinguishing all the candles sitting on Nurse Jenny's desk. The temperature dropped several degrees in seconds.
Standing in the doorway, framed by the darkness of the hallway behind him like some kind of gothic oil painting, was a figure dressed in an expensive black silk shirt. His crimson eyes were literally glowing with inner light. The demonic aura radiating off his body pulsed with barely contained irritation.
Klaus Silver. The Prince of Darkness Roommate. The future Demon King.
He scanned the entire infirmary with those glowing red eyes. He completely ignored Nurse Jenny standing right there. He ignored the sleeping Hero slouched in the corner chair. He ignored the unconscious Goon in the neighboring bed.
His supernatural gaze locked onto Kaizen like a heat-seeking missile that had finally found its target.
He marched across the room with purposeful strides and slammed both hands down onto the metal railing of Kaizen's hospital bed hard enough to make it rattle.
"Human!" Klaus shouted, his voice somehow managing to sound both terrifying and genuinely concerned at the same time. "Are you alright?! I got news about you meeting an accident and came as fast as I could!"
Kaizen slowly turned his gaze upward to stare at the white ceiling tiles.
To his left was the screaming Goon who wanted him dead and was probably going to report him to Lance Wind for excessive violence.
To his right was the sleeping Hero who wanted to become his best friend and would inevitably drag him into deadly adventures.
Standing directly in front of him was the Demon King candidate who was worried about his precious human research subject.
Kaizen closed his eyes. He folded his hands together over his chest in prayer position.
"Dear Aliens," he whispered toward the ceiling. "I know you're out there somewhere in the vast universe. This would be a really good time for that abduction you've been planning. I don't even care about the probing anymore. Just please take me away from this nightmare."