Silence fell over the infirmary as both D-Rank students stared at each other with matching intense expressions.
Klaus glanced down at his phone again. The screen was still glowing with that ridiculous headline plastered across the TeaScroll app: Skewer vs. Thigh: The F-Rank Upset.
Leo suddenly seemed to remember something important.
He slowly lowered his gaze to look at the magical traction sling holding up the leg of the student in the neighboring hospital bed.
More specifically, he stared at the thick bandage wrapped around the spot where a wooden skewer had been surgically extracted.
Both D rankers looked at each other with dawning realization.
Both D rankers turned to look at the Goon lying in the bed.
Wait just a minute.
The duo narrowed their eyes in perfect synchronization, like they had rehearsed this exact movement.
In his hospital bed, Goon Number One was currently putting on the performance of his lifetime.
He was not just playing dead anymore. He was actively trying to cease existing on a fundamental level.
He shut his eyes completely off. He held his breath until his lungs burned. He tried to slow his heart rate down through nothing but sheer force of will and desperate prayer.
'Please God, any God out there listening.'
'The God of Cowards. The God of Running Away. The God of People Who Made Really Bad Life Choices.'
'If you get me out of this situation alive, I will donate my entire monthly allowance to charity.'
'I will become a monk and live in isolation. I will never bully another person again for as long as I live.'
'W-well, scratch that last part! But I will donate to the charity! So please!!!'
Cold sweat poured down his face and soaked completely through his hospital gown. He was sweating so profusely that the fabric was sticking to his skin.
Luck, as usual for him, had filed a legal restraining order and moved to another country.
First, some weak F-Rank loser that he thought would be easy bullying material had somehow broken his femur with a piece of greasy processed wood. He thought beating up the peasant would score him major points with Lord Lance and maybe get him promoted to a better position. Instead, all it got him was a crippling injury and a humiliating trip to the infirmary.
And now? Two of the most powerful D-Rank students in the entire academy, the Hero and the Prince of Darkness, were looming over his hospital bed like a pair of grim reapers waiting to collect his soul.
He felt two massive shadows fall across his face, blocking out the fluorescent lights above.
"Hey there.... Did you do this to my best friend?"
Leo's friendly and sunshine aura was changed to something terrifying.
"Were you the one responsible for damaging my roommate?"
Klaus hissed through clenched teeth, and dark purple mana started curling around his fingers like living smoke.
The Goon's internal screaming reached such a high pitch that only dogs would be able to hear it.
'I am asleep! I am in a medically induced coma! I am legally dead! Please just go away and leave me alone!'
"Hey," Leo said again, his voice getting even darker this time. "We asked you a direct question."
Both of their hands hovered menacingly over his trembling body. Leo's fist was clenching and unclenching rhythmically. Klaus's fingernails were visibly lengthening into razor-sharp claws.
They were approximately two seconds away from grabbing him by the collar and shaking the truth out of his broken body.
"Leave him alone," a hoarse voice croaked from the other hospital bed.
Everyone in the room froze completely.
Kaizen was sitting up in his bed now, rubbing his temples with both hands like he had a massive headache. He looked over at the trembling Goon with a strange expression on his face. Was it pity? Annoyance? Some combination of both?
"He did not actually do anything to me," Kaizen said in a flat, tired voice.
Leo blinked several times in confusion, and the golden aura surrounding his body faded slightly. "He did not?"
"No," Kaizen sighed heavily. "He did not even manage to land a single hit on me. I broke his leg with the wooden skewer before he could throw his first punch."
Kaizen pointed one finger at the shivering lump of terror hidden under the hospital sheets.
"It was his two lackeys who beat me up while I was distracted by his... very loud screaming about wanting to see his mommy."
Complete silence filled the infirmary.
Leo's entire face transformed in an instant. All the dark shadows vanished from his expression. The killer intent evaporated like morning dew. He looked down at the Goon with genuine, teary-eyed sympathy overflowing from his eyes.
"Oh no!" Leo gasped dramatically, covering his mouth with both hands. "Oh you poor guy! You got taken out of the fight instantly before you could even participate? That is so incredibly sad! Ha ha ha."
Klaus relaxed his aggressive posture, though he still looked distinctly disappointed that he did not get the opportunity to curse someone.
"Hmph. Pure incompetence. To be defeated by a greasy wooden skewer... absolutely pathetic."
The Goon let out a tiny, completely involuntary whimper of pure relief.
'I lived. I actually lived through this encounter. I am going to survive this day.'
Over at the supply counter, Nurse Jenny grabbed a second tissue box and pulled it against her chest. She was physically vibrating with barely contained excitement.
"Mercy..." she whispered to herself while scribbling frantically in a small notebook. "The heroic protagonist shows mercy to the fallen bully... while the dark prince passes harsh judgment on his weakness... the dynamic between them is evolving so beautifully!"
BAM.
Suddenly, the infirmary doors flew violently open for the second time.
Two students skidded into the room at full speed, both of them panting heavily like they had just sprinted across the entire campus. Their uniforms were completely disheveled and their faces were pale with worry.
Goon Number Two and Goon Number Three had arrived.
"BOSS!" they shouted in perfect unison, completely ignoring the tense atmosphere filling the room. "BOSS! ARE YOU ALRIGHT?! WE SEARCHED EVERYWHERE FOR YOU ONCE WE WOKE UP FROM GETTING KNOCKED OUT..."
Their voices trailed off into nothing.
They looked toward the hospital beds.
They saw their Boss lying there pretending to be a lifeless corpse. They saw a red-haired boy standing next to the bed. They saw a dark-haired boy also standing next to the bed.
Leo and Klaus slowly turned their heads in perfect synchronization to stare at the new arrivals. Their necks cracked ominously with the movement.
Their eyes were completely cold. Dead cold. Frozen tundra cold.
The temperature in the entire room seemed to drop to absolute zero in less than a second.
Goon Number Two and Goon Number Three felt their bladders simultaneously tighten with fear. They looked at the two monsters standing there radiating pure death. They looked at the suffocating aura of violence emanating from both of them.
'We are dead. We are so unbelievably dead. Why did we come here?'
Suddenly, Goon Number One slowly sat straight up in his hospital bed despite the pain shooting through his injured leg.
He did not dare speak out loud. He could not risk drawing more attention to the situation.
He made desperate eye contact with his two minions. His eyes were opened as wide as physically possible, filled with pure terror and pleading desperation. He made a frantic shooing motion with his hand behind Klaus's back where the demon could not see.
'RUN! YOU ABSOLUTE IDIOTS! ABORT THE MISSION IMMEDIATELY! SAVE YOURSELVES WHILE YOU STILL CAN!'
Goon Number Two saw the urgent gesture. He saw the raw terror burning in his boss's bloodshot eyes.
He understood the message perfectly.
Goon Number Two immediately grabbed Goon Number Three by the collar and yanked him backward. He bowed so deeply that his forehead almost smashed into the tile floor.
"SINCERE APOLOGIES, GENTLEMEN!" he shrieked at the top of his lungs. "WRONG ROOM! WRONG ROOM ENTIRELY!"
"VERY SORRY FOR THE DISTURBANCE! PLEASE HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY!" Goon Number Three yelled while being dragged.
They spun around on their heels in perfect military formation.
Zoom.
They did not just run away. They completely vanished from sight. The only evidence that they had ever been there at all was the infirmary door still swinging on its hinges and the lingering smell of pure fear hanging in the air.
Leo blinked in genuine surprise. "Wow. They are incredibly fast runners."
"Pathetic cowards," Klaus scoffed dismissively.
Kaizen sank back down into his pillow, closing his eyes with exhausted relief.
At least those idiots are gone now. Maybe I can finally get some sleep and pretend this entire day never happened.
"So," Leo said cheerfully, spinning around and grabbing a visitor chair. He dragged it right next to Kaizen's head with a loud scraping sound. "Tell me absolutely everything about what happened. How exactly did you break his leg? What kind of technique did you use? You have to teach me the legendary Way of the Corn Dog!"
"I also require detailed data for my research," Klaus said calmly, pulling up another chair on the opposite side of the bed. "Was there some kind of piercing enchantment involved? Did you use durability rune magic on the wooden skewer?"
Kaizen cracked open one tired eye.
To his left sat Leo, leaning forward with eager anticipation. To his right sat Klaus, pulling out an actual notebook and pen.
"Can I please just go back to the trash-filled alley?" Kaizen whispered weakly. "It was so much quieter there."