INT. PRISMO'S ROOM
The room hums the way infinity hums when it's bored. White everywhere. Soft curves. A massive screen is embedded in one of the walls in a direction: if directions here had definitions.
Jake paces in a lumpy circle, gripping Prismo's remote, hammering buttons like he's trying to wake it up.
JAKE
I'm so BOOOORED, Prismo!
The TV flickers.
SPACE. A lone cowboy silhouette drifts across the screen, cigarette ember glowing. A jazzy sting plays for half a second.
Jake doesn't notice. He clicks again.
PRISMO (chill)
Well, what do you wanna do, Jake?
Another click.
The TV changes.
JAKE—now armored up, holy light blazing—stands before a massive purple-and-black FEMALE DRAGON, wings blotting out the sky. The dragon roars.
Jake still doesn't notice. He's pacing harder now.
JAKE
I don't know! I just wanna see something cool!
PRISMO
Wellllll, why don't you just—
Prismo leans forward, reaching for the remote.
Jake flinches mid-step, stretches sideways, then snaps back, tail whipping.
PRISMO
—hand me—
Jake flexes again, accidentally turning into a zigzag.
PRISMO
—the—
Prismo finally snatches it.
PRISMO
YOINK!
He clicks. The TV becomes a scrolling GUIDE. The channel numbers blast by impossibly fast.
48383³. 48383³ + 1. 48383³ + 2.
JAKE
Hey! I was watching that!
PRISMO
Pffft. No you weren't, dude.
Jake huffs, plops down, crosses his arms so hard his body dents.
JAKE
Hmp.
PRISMO
Now tell me, Jake. What do you wanna watch?
JAKE
Something cool.
Prismo closes his eyes. Takes a deep breath. Pops his lips.
PRISMO
Okaaaay… hm.
(pop-pop-pop)
Alright. You like loot?
JAKE (narrows eyes)
Go on.
PRISMO
And… fighting?
JAKE (raises one eyebrow)
Uh huh.
PRISMO
And… guns?
JAKE (squints harder)
How many guns?
Prismo leans in, whispering like it's forbidden knowledge.
PRISMO
A whole… butt ton.
Jake's eyes snap open.
JAKE
This sounds pretty good. What else is there?
PRISMO
Bandits. Explosions. A hot chick called a "Siren."
Jake springs up halfway, tail wagging like it's about to break physics.
JAKE
OOOOOOO LET'S DO THAT ONE! PUT THAT ONE ON, PRISMOOOO!
PRISMO
(laughing)
Okay, okay! Let's do BORDERLANDS!
(beat)
…Two!
JAKE
Wait, what, two? What about the first one?
PRISMO
Eh. First one's not really that important. I like the second one better.
JAKE
How is it gonna make any sense if we watch them out of order?!
PRISMO
Nooo no, it's fine, it's fine. Trust me, dude. You trust me, right, bro?
Jake exhales. Shrugs.
JAKE
Okay. I trust you, Prismo.
PRISMO'S voice slips into narration—half storyteller, half cosmic slacker.
PRISMO (V.O.)
So. You wanna hear another story, huh?
JAKE
Is it scary?
PRISMO (V.O.)
Medium scary. Emotionally irresponsible scary.
PRISMO (V.O.)
One where the very fate of a planet called Pandora hangs in the balance?
JAKE
Is Pandora like… a box?
PRISMO (V.O.)
No.
(beat)
Yes.
(spoiler pause)
Moving on to-
The Vault!
PRISMO (V.O.)
First, there was the Vault. Alien prison. Big mystery energy. Opened with a mystical key.
JAKE
Who made the key?
PRISMO (V.O.)
Aliens. Probably.
(spoiler beat)
Doesn't matter yet.
Tentacles. Monsters. Chaos.
PRISMO (V.O.)
To the warriors who opened it, the Vault was just… tentacles and disappointment.
JAKE
Aw man, I hate disappointment.
PRISMO (V.O.)
Yeah, it's a recurring theme.
PRISMO (V.O.)
But then...they vanished, thinking the Vault had no treasure.
JAKE
So they were wrong?
PRISMO (V.O.)
Very wrong. Like "didn't read the fine print" wrong because purple crystals starting erupting across the planet!
PRISMO (V.O.)
See, opening the Vault triggered Eridium. Super-rare alien rock. Glowy. Dangerous. Extremely monetizable.
JAKE
Can you eat it?
PRISMO (V.O.)
No.
JAKE
Can I eat it?
PRISMO (V.O.)
Also no..
PRISMO (V.O.)
That got the attention of Hyperion. Big corporation. Loves order. Loves profits. Hates fun.
JAKE
Are they bad guys?
PRISMO (V.O.)
Oh yeah. Capital-B Bad. With spreadsheets, with machines digging, and data scrolling.
PRISMO (V.O.)
They found hints of a second Vault. Bigger. Scarier. More destiny-flavored.
PRISMO (V.O.)
Their leader swore he'd use its power to civilize the Borderlands.
JAKE
Is that good?
PRISMO (V.O.)
Nope.
Then explosions! Chaos! People arriving.
JAKE
Can I see the explosions yet?
PRISMO(briefly peaks into frame, Jake is staring at the loading circle on the TV)
Uhm. No. It's still loading. Anyway-
PRISMO (V.O.)
Hyperion wasn't alone! Danger and loot have a way of calling people in.
JAKE
Like us!
PRISMO (V.O.)
Exactly like you. That's why this is a bad influence.
Vault Hunters step into frame.
PRISMO (V.O.)
Some call them adventurers. Others call them fools.
JAKE
Which are they?
PRISMO (V.O.)
Yes.
PRISMO (V.O.)
But I call them… Vault Hunters.
(beat)
PRISMO (V.O.)
And our story begins with them—
The screen flickers to a grinning mask, studded with red gems.
PRISMO (V.O.)
—and a man named Handsome Simon.
JAKE
Is he handsome? I don't think guys who wear masks all the time are usually good looking.
PRISMO (V.O.)
…That's spoiler territory, buddy.
CUT TO BLACK.