I am a stoner in a funny way. I once learned during the memes of the internet that weed is the ultimate end of the poison combo. As in thc, is the king of poison apparently. It is a interesting concept to me.
For me, it began as a weeb moment. I wanted to beat all poisons. It was raw. I've done it already, and now I just chainsmoke weed vapes for fun.
I thought about the condensation system I imagined for dollar general, and realized with the smokey mountain's fogs and its local ecology, I could legally produce weed with condensation.
However, it has an ulterior motive. It detects anarchy. The more weed I get in a single night, the more fucked up shit happened. And unfortunately, I got five fingernails worth of weed in 1 gram weed vape cartridges during the first fog I had while staying here. And I was actively doing my weed condensation system.
It is concerning and arousing for weed collection. As a dollar store clerk, I am in the center of a potential terrorist hub for basic supplies. Thankfully they are basic, but there's enough variety to still cause a shitshow on a small scale level.
There's unfortunately a tragic side to dollar general, and honestly any store I know too well. For better or for worse. The Amish and other religious groups are annoying with how isolated they get. For a passively aggressive chemist warfare of sorts.
It's honestly sad. For dollar general and kids of real capitalism, it literally shouldn't matter. All these f@gs with allergies to this chemist, are walking bags of death for themselves and others. The more inhuman you are, the more you're killing yourself and others.
Anorexia creates a gas to sedate people. It also makes chemistry react way too close to you. It's fucking annoyingly raw. They're the best alchemists for real results on the spot. But it's fucking annoying, they're basically wizards of a turn based rpg with fucking retarded commands as they just fucking yell at shit while swirling chemicals and food around. Until they get like, honestly raw shit if they aren't being douches. Like a nice sweater.
I got a Friday the 13th sock through chemistry recently. It's funny. I call myself a ghost sniper with my chemistry. As all my chemistry gets pushed away from me, up into the sky, and back down like a mushroom cloud bomb. Or so I've been told. I've never officially observed the atoms roiling or whatever those church f@gs call it.
It's honestly so fucking annoying. Alright, so time for the conspiracy theories of why I hate the church and the government. Dollar General is supposed to be a living nuke of atoms. Every store is. Dumbasses think it's terrorism. And honestly. For pussy ass bitches I meme about in my head, calling them Victorian Step Children. As in you british f@gs get stomped out by me farting out a shit made of mac and cheese with a steak and cheese from subway.
Then one day when I'm 23 at the local dollar general in my hometown. My favorite douchebag priest walks up to me. And fucking lectures me about the most maddening thing.
"What the fuck do you mean the hamburger helper is a nuke ration to go kill a man with? It's C4? This is C4? It doesn't even get you high, quit lying! I played Metal Gear, they said we get high on C4 f@gget!" I snap angrily.
Priest Knucklemore sighs sadly and cracks his knuckles.
"You don't get it. It's C4 when it hits the toilet. Your toilet should blow up when you take a shit." Priest says with sad anger.
I… just glare at him.
"Are you Amish now? We work at a factory together when you aren't a priest. I thought you knew what the modern world was like." I say, confused and concerned.
"Dude, I'm gonna break it to you. Then knowing you, you are gonna be so mad, we're gonna brawl." Priest Knucklemore says angrily.
He pulls out a gun and points it at me.
"You've been ex-communicated ever since you ate a cheese puff and lived. There was arsenic in those. You're a walking nuke, and it is my unfortunate pleasure to put you out of your misery." he rants maliciously. "This store, wal-mart, lowes, all those fucking f@g stores you love. Are for f@gs meant to be forgotten about by the church and die! Even the buttermilk! They're all radioactive! We microwave things to add radioactivity to it!"
I like… stare at him traumatized and more concerned for them than me.
"I've been eating this food since I was a child. Are you seriously dying from this food? It's delicious. Have you never had mac and cheese even? Or spaghetti with pasta sauce?" I say, traumatized for them.
It was like a meme of madness. We were both in different realities. My reality was an oblivious hippie reality that loved that store, and all the others he mentioned. Cheese puffs suck, but were alright. I've had stuff like hamburger helper all my life. And he is ranting like a r3t@rded priest megalomaniac that thinks of life as a Victorian Step Child.
"Those should all kill you. Peppers clot your veins. Tomatoes turn your blood to soap. Those shoes should turn your feet to rubber so I can turn you into a car when we're done processing you at the smokehouse." Priest Knucklemore rants angrily.
I am annoyed enough to traumatize him. I take a outrageous reese's bar off the shelf. And take a bit. He is traumatized, and flees the room. So hard, he runs into the frame of the door of the store before leaving.
The next day, he is traumatized to see I'm perfectly stable. While everyone has acne. Except surprisingly for better or for worse, all my exes. And my former best friend I shared a bed too many times with like a faux step bro.
Which was annoying. Everyone after that literally ranted at me about how they got chemically excluded from the church over stupid shit. Like pop-tarts. And protein supplements. By the end of the day, the church admits everything is a meme. Except ironically, the saddest part of life.
"You should only eat foods with no gluten if you want to be a good christian." Priest Knucklemore announces proudly at pre-shift for my factory job.
All the fat kids cried and just like… had panic attacks over their mountain dews and pepsis and cokes and a cinnamon sweet roll! I laughed at the sheer madness of how sad it was for all my co-workers to look at our honestly super sweet break room with delicious capitalist american food like oatmeal creampies and the Big Az Burger. And like, wanted to die.
While I just laughed and egged on their tears!
"Yeah! Remember that! Being a good christian means no more eggrolls from the asian restaurants! Or bacon! Or potatoes with seasoning!"
"Stanley, please stop. They're dying inside too hard. They're still children." Priest Knucklemore says solemnly. "Now, we stagnate on beer and wheat bread. Only eat those and non-gluten foods if you're a good man. Remember, Gluten is Gluttony."
I laughed for a long time over that. Until I thought of it as a chemist. And it was raw and annoying to me. It is a stagnation chemist combo to me. That acts as a stopwall of sorts. It's gonna fuck with their way of life in so many ways that is fucked up and intriguing to me.
First of all, it fucks with poison chains or the chain of life as a whole. I imagine it alone as all the chemistry that goes into a typical beer and making bread. It's enough to be a good combo to fuck with things as is.
It's annoyingly raw for multiple reasons. Stagnation means they are the poison combo of the previous day, especially if they wear the same clothes. Stagnating your diet is r@tarded to me. Stagnating your clothes is better for chemistry. Annoyingly better. It makes for an interesting carbuncle defense to me.
Inspired by Carbuncle the summon from FF8, it should deflect chemistry warfare to an extent due to being soaked in my job and the sweat and whatever from the previous day. To the point it's a long ending chain of chemistry that will cause raw levels of bullshit to me if they even try firing a gun.
5 years later. Today I have a surprisingly intriguing meme for this place. Donald Trump once did a weird meme with Star Wars Unlimited, the new Star Wars card game. He did chemistry warfare with them during a fucked up Political Event I didn't really understand cause I jumped in while he was throwing cards around and absurd bullshit happened.
People's clothes changed colors, they got weird products jumping out of skin, there's guns being fired all day. It's absurd bullshit to me.
His world and the world is too unstable to me to an extent. They got complete projects to me sometimes. Vapes, game consoles, but they were weirdly still alive and fluctuating a lot. I don't like that level of magic. I like control. And honestly, it got so r@tarded.
Priest versus the Chemist debates happened after I began developing ways to be a store worker cause it's a big fantasy of mine that gets ruined by f@g terrorists. And I decided to counter them on a chemical level. Which pissed off the Priest Knucklemore f@g.
"The air is too stagnant, let us do magic. Kill yourself or something. Quit smoking so much weed, it stagnates the air. I literally have to go to California to be a wizard." Priest Knucklemore rants angrily while I'm staring at the makeup section, considering trying women's products to see if I'm chemically opposed to them.
"Dude, I'm gonna be honest. I saw the Donald Trump magic disaster. Fuck that shit, it's too unstable. I fucking hate that shit." I say angrily. "I'm pro technology on this one. You're a Mad Wizard, go fuck yourself. Technology is stable, magic is for the real suicidal f@gs." I snap angrily.
It literally escalated into such madness five seconds later. Cause they gassed the room. And suddenly we were all anime characters. Literally, they made it so chemically unstable by just making Donald Trump enter the room and fart.
"Hey I'm Donald Trump, Merlin of the Church of Christ. Good luck killing him, loyal Americans." President Trump says nonchalantly.
He walks out the room without a care. While I'm utterly confused. Cause we all became stereotypes of fiction and anime. I was literally a Neo from the Matrix cosplayer with two desert eagles and sunglasses. Priest Knucklemore looked really raw and honestly kind of hot for a boomer.
He was Van Helsing with an automatic crossbow filled with weird, glowing chemical bolts that were blue and white. And beside him was my christian ex-girlfriend Casey, but she was a sexy black mage with a wand that emitted poison gas as she wagged it with a malefic, sexy grin. Then she jabs it forward, and hits me with lightning.
Which was adorable and annoying. I looked at her, and held out my guns sideways to show I was raw too. Which stunned them. And they ranted really hard.
"Fuck, he's a Secret Agent role here. He has the ultimate advantage. But he doesn't know how it works. We can still do it." Casey says, tense and nervous.
I do basic Matrix mechanics in my heads. Like I try to see if I can run faster if I focus really hard. I can't. I try to do telekinesis with a small object. I manage to lift a monster can up. And flick it into Priest Knucklemore's head.
"Okay, I'm sick of this shit. Kill this fucking Neo poser f@g." Priest Knucklemore curses furiously.
We all aimed our weapons at each other, them at me, me at them. At point blank range. Opened fire. And absolute tomfoolery and madness happened.