The first week of Dollar General here was a fun week getting to serve a nice society. But unfortunately, due to offending the church, I'm paranoid.
There were too many orders with coincidental Jesus kid numbers and shiz. Lots of 1s, 3, 4, 7, and 6s. And due to how I understand chemistry warfare and this store's history with dumb Victorian Step Children, I'm half convinced some of these f@gs think they can kill me. But unfortunately, I've lived here too hard.
I'm convinced they think stuff like Monsters and Makeup kill you. Which if you're a weak Victorian Step Child, it can give you jitters and what not. But I got addicted to Monsters recently, and I've always used the store's medicine cabinet. So I'm a master of this store's chemistry.
But honestly, I do have minor concerns. A cut from a box cutter on my left thumb is taking too long to heal. And in this second weak, I've begun to feel a lot of weird chemistry reactions. It happened a lot the first weak, but I was convinced it was just me getting used to a new biome as I'm from the midwest, and now I'm high in the mountains.
But then my fingertips begin becoming numb randomly. Thankfully it's just my fingertips, and there's a medicine cabinet at my store. With lots of water, Monsters, and juice around. I'll be fine no matter what.
Solving poison is simple anyway. The best answer is just soak yourself in water. So if necessary, I will like, dunk my head in the sink while I leave my foot in a toilet or something. Heh. A r@t@rded solution, but it works enough.
I can also try to figure out if the poison leans toward acid or base, but that's a gamble when you consider food dye changing the color of your veins. And thankfully, for better or for worse, I don't have it memorized what the difference between the poisons are in terms of pain or the appearance of my blood. So I just rely on the all good answer: water.
Second week has begun to be annoying in intriguing ways. Chemistry is affecting my visuals in intriguing ways. Unfortunately, the worst of it is honestly annoying as hell. People's physical forms are literally changing around me. In good and bad ways.
If they literally just hung out here too hard, they'd be too hot like my f@g boss Sora. But I know Sora barely lives here. He's too skinny. But honestly, he's too raw otherwise. If he just ate more fucking food and worked a bit more, like on my level, he'd be able to run the store all day. He stays away too hard and he's too much of a fragile bird twink. The chemistry affects him too hard. His clothes even change during the days sometimes, and it's too fast to make sense unless I imagine chemistry is magic level on that stupid fragile bird.
Angela is honestly morphing the most. She's looking like various hot stereotypes while wearing the same outfit all day. She's looked more like a bird, extremely beautiful at the start, then at one point she was a surprisingly cute soldier girl with a ridiculously straight and stone-like jawline. I actually liked that one the most besides her form at the start. The second form gives soldier vibes though, so it has more sexual appeal to me when I imagine things like cleaning blood off her body or something.
I've begun to have the fucking autistic british kid episodes about politeness too. It's fucking annoying as hell. Especially cause the first one was the most stereotypical meme.
"Hey, don't snatch my money." Old Fat Trucker says with proud anger.
He smiles like a proud bully at me. I just get annoyed and decide to spit our new policy at him.
"Hey, the government has stopped producing pennies. So we are not going to be giving change back for pennies when we run out. So everything 4 cents and under is gone for you. Sorry." I snap quickly with restrained anger.
"What?" Old Fat Trucker says, confused and still grinning.
I quickly, while angrily huffing out words like a lame rapper, say the same fucking sentence. Which I did not reflect on until a bit later. When I realized us talking to each other so close was causing me to have difficulty talking around him. But otherwise I was fine.
I was too angry to overanalyze that. I went outside after putting up one more item to be passive aggressive. I glared at the truck driver who was still fucking parked in the parking lot. And flashed my new Friday the 13th sock glove. Which isn't supposed to exist.
Roll with me on this. I created this sock using chemistry in my step mom's laundry machines because I got that cut on my finger. My finger's blood mixed with the sock, and became a unofficial Friday the 13th sock glove with F13 on the back of the wrist. And on the long part of the sock, is a Jason mask with a small but wide X made of machetes with blood painted on them.
My other sock glove was made with chemistry from an overnight stay with my work shirts from my old job, a camshaft factory. They combined with the iron of that place, and the blue ink of the shirts, and became a blue iron sock. It should have iron or steel fibers if I'm lucky. Or maybe it's just blue.
Anyway, I'm silently talking shit to the truck driver while flashing my F13 and smoking my weed vape. He barely even glares back. And I'm convinced upon reflection he was losing weight due to the chemistry warfare we had.
But thankfully, DG warfare is nice to you if you live. Real nice. Especially if you eat your nutrients. You leave hot as fuck, but traumatized you basically morphed into a new person. Which honestly, the most annoying part is there's so many times they look like someone I've known before. Because all these Christians are too addicted to their chemistry builds or maybe I'm influencing them cause this chemistry field is almost like magic sometimes. And maybe since I'm basically the master of this DG to myself in terms of withstanding the chemistry and living in it, maybe they just look like my friends and relatives cause of my existence here.
That hasn't happened yet thankfully. But it did happen in my home town a few times during the days where well… DG got robbed and I had to do real anarchy. And it got weird when an old fat hag emerged from a gas bomb I made mixed with a monster can with a cap. And came out as my hot sister.
Like literally, the exact same face voice, and even an outfit she would wear. Which was funny. They had the typical girl argument you'd imagine outside five minutes later.
"You can't steal my identity and my look, you bitch." Clarissa, my sister, snaps angrily.
"I didn't even mean to. But I'm keeping it, I want to get married again." False Clarissa says proudly.
"Bitch, don't you dare. I'll sue and tell Mike Judge." Clarissa says angrily.
And then it got weird as always with church people.
"Why are you mentioning Mike Judge? Is Hank Hill gonna do a episode about this place to roast us or something? He's just a tv producer or something." I yell, annoyed and skeptical.
They stare at me, amused. And both morphing for some reason. To RTGames and a blonde woman that looks almost just like him. But with a bigger names.
I call these fuckers Hawknoses. They're Christian builds I'm not even sure are meant to be seen by the public.
"Why is RTGames my sister now?" I ask, confused.
"I'm not your sister, we swapped places with a teleport." RTGames says, nervous and angry.
He's smiling like a psychopath, so is his friend. I love and hate this grin. These youtuber builds are fucking stupid to me. They are all me legally. While I am illegally them in terms of genetics. We just vibe while the world dies around us.
"So can I get your autograph, RTGames? I know I'm not 12, but like, I still watch your videos sometimes." I say warmly.
"Are you calling me a pedophile?" RTGames snaps furiously.
"No, I just think you're meant to be a christian friendly youtuber for kids." I say warmly.
"We have to do that to get views, you douche! Not everyone's like Oneyplays! They're lucky to exist as a church trap!" RTGames yells angrily.
"What are you talking about? Are you saying Oneyplays is supposed to out me to the church? Why? Is it just cause of how offensive they are?" I ask, amused and warm.
"Dude, you're cursed with evil memes to mark you as Judas. Don't you know stuff like Pink Guy and Oneyplays is for f@gs meant to be forgotten?" Hot Hawknose Girl teases sadistically.
"No. But I'm still watching them, they're really funny." I say happily.
They glare at me while I laugh hard about how I'm banned over edgy youtubers outing me over my existence. Then they get a phone call on discord.
"Hold up, your ringtone goes off for discord? What the fuck?" I ask, angry and confused.
"HAH! Another sign you're cursed! The more you're hacked and lose privileges, the more we know you're a Judas f@g." RTGames taunts with proud disdain. "I bet you don't even have gradient on discord. Or Naraka Bladepoint."
I actually get really mad about that one. Especially upon reflection of this memory, as both of those things only gave the gradient options for discord's screen and your character's hair in Naraka Bladepoint a few months ago.
"Yo, I would shoot you Christian f@gs over locking gradient on Viper Ning alone." I snap angrily.
"Shut up, I have to answer my phone." RTGames says angrily.
He answers his phone. And I barely hear anything. A strong wind blocks the sound between us. Which honestly freaks out the Hawknose Girl and myself. I don't think it's supposed to happen. Especially cause after that, I'm literally teleported home.
Anyway, back to current day. I'm done being mad about stupid shit. I go back inside my workplace, and get back to work stocking the shelves. I'll see y'all around.