Gaming. It's fun, they say. A hobby. A passion.
For me, Han, it was just a job. A necessary evil to fund my one true calling: being a professional lazy bum. I didn't particularly love it, but at some point, staring at a screen and pushing buttons became the only thing I was qualified to do. The irony wasn't lost on me. The one bit of "hard work" in my life was dedicated to the ultimate form of doing nothing.
The best part? My parents were loaded. We owned a chain of over twenty high-end restaurants. The catch? I'd never even been allowed to eat at one. My whole life, I'd been sheltered, coddled, and left to my own devices, which mostly involved sleeping like a log for twelve glorious hours a day. I was, without a doubt, the living embodiment of lazing off. Streaming was my concession to society, the minimal effort required to keep my comfortable, isolated bubble intact.
I was halfway through a particularly mind-numbing grind session when the superchat popped up.
Hey, gamer. If you stream for 3 days straight, I'll go on a date with you.
I blinked at the screen, my brain sluggish from two days of continuous play. A date? Me? A flicker of something—loneliness, maybe, or just sheer, dumb curiosity—ignited in my chest.
"Huh, is that real?" I mumbled into the mic, my voice raspy. "Even if it's not... it's the first time someone's actually invited me somewhere. Fine. I'll go. Even if it's a guy."
And so, I pushed on. For two days and sixteen hours, I became one with my chair, surviving on energy drinks and the sheer, stupid determination of a hermit who'd been offered a glimpse of sunlight. My reflection in the dark monitor was a ghastly sight: pale skin, hair greasy enough to fry an egg, and eyes with bags so deep you could store groceries in them.
"Damn, that's hard," I finally slurred, my vision blurring. "Maybe... I'll just sleep now."
The world faded to black.
I opened my eyes to the scent of pine and thin, crisp air. I was standing on a flat, windswept peak, surrounded by swirling, ethereal fog that glowed with a soft, inner light. Below me, an endless sea of clouds stretched into infinity.
"What the... where am I?" I muttered, pinching my arm. It hurt. This wasn't a dream.
"Child."
An old man emerged from the mist, his long white beard and flowing robes the picture of a stereotypical sage. He looked at me with eyes that held the weight of millennia. "You are destined for greatness. You have been chosen to commune with the Heavenly Dao and walk the path of—"
"STOPPPPPPPP!" I screamed, my voice echoing across the mountain peaks. I'd had enough of grandiose nonsense. "You old man, you're barking up the wrong tree! I'm not your chosen one. Instead of this bullshit, can you just return me where I was? It was the first time someone invited me anywhere!"
The old man looked mildly offended. "I am a Celestial Official. Cultivation is the art of refining the soul, tempering the body, and defying the very heavens to grasp eternity itself! It is a path of glory, power, and—"
"Ugh. What a weird guy," I interrupted, rubbing my temples. "So, at the end of it, I'm dead."
"Well... yes. Truck-kun is a busy soul."
"Man," I groaned, the reality sinking in. "I haven't even lost my v-card yet. Dying a virgin at only nineteen... what a sin."
The old man's eyebrows shot up. "V-card, you say? If you're not interested in this old man's guidance, how about taking someone your age?"
I snorted. "V-card? You don't know what that is? Dual cultivation is more your thing, I guess. Haha. By the way, what do you mean, 'someone my age'?"
"The one who invited you," the old man said calmly. "He has also passed on."
My heart did a weird little flip. "Omg! How did such a beauty die?"
The old man stared at me, his expression unreadable. "You... you were into guys?"
My shoulders slumped. "I knew it," I sighed. "Well, how did that... guy... die?"
"He was watching your stream while walking on the street at night. After not sleeping for two days and sixteen hours, he was tired. Then, Truck-kun came and did his job."
"Yare yare," I muttered, a strange pang of guilt and affection hitting me. "A true fan of mine. Guess I'll take him. No one has ever paid that much attention to me before."
"He has already been reincarnated," the old man clarified.
"Wait, so how do I...?"
"Unlike you, his final wish was for a life where he could help his one true friend. Although he remembers nothing now, his soul is bound to be your eternal partner."
My mind, despite its exhaustion, started whirring. A partner? An idea, beautiful and perfect in its laziness, began to form. "Oh! So how will he be like?"
"You decide."
A wide grin spread across my face. "Okay, first—I want him to do all the cultivating. It's not like I'm gonna defeat some Demon God or something. Second, I like games. In fact, I only know games. Make him into a game system thing. Third, if I can't be the richest, at least make me rich enough to buy anything I want, anytime, and live lazing off. Fourth—"
"Waiiiiiiiit!" the old man cried out, looking horrified. "You... you abomination! You can't just delegate your entire destiny! You're going to have penalties for throwing off most of the work!"
"Penalties? What penalties?"
"Well... something like performing simple tasks. Push-ups, running, performing sword moves, training someone, teaching someone. And you said a game-like system... so I will design it accordingly. You will gain experience points from these tasks, and you can level up."
I thought about it for a second. A grind, but a physical one. It was still better than meditating for a thousand years. "Well, I guess I have to do something in a cultivation world. It's a new world, so maybe I'll have good people around."
"You will be the second young master of the Yun Clan," the old man said, seeming relieved I was cooperating. "They're rich enough for you to do nothing. You're not first in line for succession, so no tedious work."
"Good one, old man! You understand my feelings!"
"But," he added, a sly glint in his eye, "you will not have a innate cultivation base. You will have to 'buy' your abilities from the system shop."
"Well, that seems fine. Not like I wanted to do anything anyway."
"You should think about it," he warned. "The strong devour the weak in this world."
"Right, that's the setting." I paused, thinking. "Oh! Maybe I'll just hit the max level as fast as I can!"
The old man chuckled. "That's not possible, child. There is no end to power in a cultivation world. You will level up even after Level 9999."
"Fine," I shrugged. "I'll just get stronger than the strongest man. Tell me, if EXP is for leveling up, how do I buy things from the shop?"
"Reputation points. You must establish a reputation, good or bad, it doesn't matter. You can buy anything from the system shop: scrolls, techniques, even money itself."
A real, genuine smile finally broke through my exhaustion. "Well, that sounds fun. I guess I'll do this."
"See? I knew you'd like it!"
"Hurry up and send me now!"
"Okay, okay!"
The world began to dissolve around me. A feeling of being pulled through a cosmic straw overwhelmed my senses.
Ugh.
I slowly opened my eyes. The world was blurry. I was swaddled in soft, expensive-feeling cloth. I wiggled my fingers in front of my face.
Huh. These small hands. Are these... mine?
Ohh, I really am born again. I thought the old man was scamming me and was gonna steal my body. What a relief.
A commotion broke the quiet. A man was screaming at someone who looked like a doctor in ancient robes.
Uh, who's this guy now?
A transparent, blue-tinted screen materialized in the corner of my vision. Text scrolled across it.
[Hey. I'm Z.]
So you're that... guy, I thought back, finding the mental communication effortless.
[Oh, so the Master told you about me!] the text replied, cheerful and eager.
Okay, I'll call you Z. So Z, who is this guy screaming?
[Here is the information screen.]
A new window popped up.
Name: Yun Zheng
Age: 38
Title: Patriarch of the Yun Clan
Cultivation: Sword King Realm
Status: Agitated, concerned, hopeful.
So he's my father, I mused.
[Oh! You haven't learned this world's language yet, right? Here is your newbie pack!]
A digital gift box appeared with a shimmer. I mentally "tapped" on it.
[Congratulations! You have learned: Common Tongue of the Azure Dragon Continent (Max Proficiency).]
Knowledge flooded my brain, seamless and instant. I could now understand every word.
"—what do you mean he doesn't have a cultivation core?!" my new father, Yun Zheng, was bellowing, his face flushed.
"Sir Patriarch, it is what it is," the doctor stammered, wiping his brow. "Although rare, there are some cases where the children of great clans are born... normal."
"My family has been a sword dao cultivation family for generations! How could such a thing happen?!"
Meanwhile, my attention was back on Z's screen. A new notification glowed.
[New Cultivation Technique Available: The Slumbering Dragon's Repose.]
[Info: Sleep for more than 10 hours every day to receive a slight EXP boost. Active from age 0 to 4.]
My heart swelled with joy. Oh, this is easy! Sleeping for ten hours? What a good system!
I was so thrilled, I spoke the words out loud without thinking, my new vocal cords producing a clear, childish, but perfectly articulated sentence. "Oh, this is easy. Sleeping for ten hours, what a good system!"
Silence.
Deafening, absolute silence.
My father, the doctor, and a handful of servants in the room froze. All of them turned to stare at the two-day-old infant in the crib, their faces a perfect canvas of speechless horror and disbelief.
My father slowly approached, his hands trembling as he lifted me. "You... you..you..." he stammered, his eyes wide. "Who are you?"
Oh, crap. Panic surged through me. I don't have a cultivation base already. If they find out I'm just a normal guy from Earth, they'll cast me out! All I've done is gaming; I can't even beg properly!
[Why don't you use the novel trope?] Z suggested helpfully.
What's that?
[Tell them you're a reincarnated immortal.]
A wave of relief washed over me. That's my best friend! Thank you for this idea!
[Hoho! That's my role as your best assistant!]
I looked my terrified father straight in the eye. Summoning all the commanding presence I could muster into my tiny body, I spoke, my voice ringing with an authority that did not belong to a newborn.
"Me? You dare ask? Although I wish to answer, I cannot. After leaving the Immortal Lands and undergoing reincarnation, I have forgotten most things."
My father's face went through a rapid series of transformations: shock, confusion, dawning comprehension, and finally, awe-struck reverence.
"Oooh! Such a thing... but wait! That means... an immortal... a real immortal has descended upon this family!" He fell to his knees. "All hail the immortal!"
These fools, I thought, utterly amused. They'd rather praise some unknown entity than think about their own child. Well, what's that got to do with me?
"Give me my new name. Quick," I commanded.
"Oh, yes, Sir Immortal!"
"Stop with that. I am still your son now."
"Oh, yes, haha!" my father said, scrambling to his feet, beaming with pride. "You will be called... Yun Feiyang!"
[Ding! Reputation Points +20.]
Yesss! I cheered internally.
"What was that?" my father asked, catching my muttered celebration.
"Nothing. It's nothing," I said quickly. "I just want to know about this new family and this... lower realm. Once I regain my immortality, I will take this whole clan up there with me."
My father's eyes shone with tears of joy. "Oh, gods bless us! Wait, I'll call the entire family at once!"
As he rushed out, a smirk spread across my face. He who's called the Patriarch is now moving on my every sentence. Oh, this feeling of power...
[You should do the tasks too, you know,] Z reminded me, a list of simple physical objectives appearing on the screen.
Sighs. Right, right.
I looked at the luxurious crib, the soft pillows looking incredibly inviting. "Well, while he's gone... maybe I'll take a nap."