I get inside the bus and the bus started moving, but the only thing which kept going on in my mind continuously was that what if that actress and Yuan get paired again and get casted again for a project. I have read the comments that people wrote there on that video that if you have a crush on him then it's ok, tell him, something like that, and I couldn't even read more after that. I just backed out from there. I really didn't want to read further because it was hurting, very very much hurting.
Then I reached my destination, my shooting set. I got inside the set and entered it. Then an assistant over there handed me the script for the scene and said, "Miss Zhao, prepare your lines for this scene. The scene will be shot after half an hour."
I forced a smile on my face and nodded my head. The assistant went away from here after giving me the script.
Then I headed towards my makeup room and got inside it. I closed the door of the make-up room and changed myself into the costume which I needed to wear for that scene. Then I opened my Weibo account again and I saw he was shooting a variety show where he played the role of that mathematics teacher and no doubt, as always, he was looking handsome wearing those specs and that red shirt with that jacket which were just complementing each other.
I saw a few photos of him from that shoot on Weibo. Then as I scrolled down a little, I saw a video of him coming back to Shanghai from Bangkok wearing a mask on his face except for his infectious eyes which are really enough to make me fall in love with him again and again more frequently.
The white T-shirt he wore with white pants… white is my favourite colour, but white colour never looked that appealing to me before. Then today, after all, my Yuan Yuan wears it and now it becomes more special to me.
Then my eyes went to his hand, his left hand where he wears that red bracelet. I immediately remembered that after seeing it right away in this video that when he played the role of volunteer Li Qingyan in that drama series he always wore that red thread type bracelet around his left wrist. But I remembered it really very well that bracelet was just a red colour thread tied around his wrist, but this one… this one is a proper bracelet with ball-type small small circle structures.
This is a proper bracelet.
Should I… should I ask him why he wears it always? Should I really ask him that or should I not? I asked myself.
I have seen him wearing it in many appearances everywhere. He only removes it when he goes to an award function or during the shoots.
Does it relate to his ex-girlfriend who played the role of his female lead in the drama where he played the role of volunteer Li Qingyan? I said to myself.
No, no, no, this can't be possible. They have already ended their relationship and moved on. Then this can't be possible.
Or is there a chance that Yuan misses her? That's why he wears it, just to remember her? Because I know in that drama series that red thread was given to him by a person whom he saved in that drama series and since then he always wore it.
But does it really relate to the memory of that drama or is there something else that I am missing out? I asked myself this question.
Then I backed out from my Weibo account and put down my phone back inside my bag and headed outside the makeup room to shoot the scene.
The moment I stepped out from my makeup room, the first thing I saw was him sitting on the chair in front of me, fully focused reading his script lines and already changed into his costume.
Then I took slow steps towards him, just very slow, very little. But before I could reach him, Director Li announced, "Ok, time to shoot."
And I stopped in the middle of the way.
Now we both had to shoot a scene.
Then whatever Director Li said, we followed and shot the scene well. Like this we almost shot continuously for many hours, but in between this time I didn't even get a chance to talk to him properly and the time went like this only.
Today it almost became late evening and we were continuously shooting. The last few days are really very hard and hectic as we all have to complete our shoot of this drama till tomorrow, as tomorrow is going to be our last day on the set as well as the last day of shooting of our drama series.
Then after many hours of shooting continuously, finally Director Li said "Pack up." The word which we all were eagerly waiting to hear finally came out of his mouth.
Director Li announced pack up for everyone.
The moment Director Li announced pack up everyone just picked up their speed and started packing up their things as fast as possible.
I looked here and there. No one was bothering about anything, they were just packing up their stuff.
I also got changed out of my costume and was about to leave the set, but just at that moment Yuan walked beside me saying in a low whispering voice close to my ear, "We will go for dinner together right now."
Then he went outside the shooting location towards his car and I just followed him.
Then the moment I reached his car he was already there sitting in the driving seat waiting for me.
I reached there and got inside the car and sat there. He started the car and we headed towards our destination.
But in this whole journey I didn't even say a word to him which is quite a change for him because whenever we are together I have never stopped talking, but today I was on my silent mode.
He looked at me sometimes while driving but didn't ask me anything.
We reached our restaurant. I stepped out of the car before him immediately the moment he stopped the car.
Then he put down the mirror of his side window and said to me, "You go inside and take a table. I'll come after parking this car."
I just nodded my head and went inside the restaurant and sat there.
After seven to eight minutes Yuan arrived. He sat just in front of me and called the waiter and ordered the food.
Then he asked me, "Do you like anything else to eat or order anything you like?"
I said, "I'll eat whatever you have ordered."
The waiter noted our order and went from there after saying to us that our order will be there within ten minutes.
Then there was a complete silence between us.
We both didn't speak a word.
But I think Yuan really got it that my mood was not in a good state right now, I said it to myself.
Then just sitting quietly like that ten minutes passed and our order arrived on our table.
The waiter said, "Enjoy your food," and after saying that the waiter went from there.
I started eating the food without even knowing what I was really eating because my mind had so many thoughts going around inside it.
I started eating continuously and more fastly than usual without a break.
But Yuan didn't eat the food.
He just rested his back slightly on the backrest of the chair and looked at me and said, "Zhao Shiza, jealousy has really hit very differently."
He smiled while looking at me.
I saw him smiling foolishly at me so I asked him, "What happened?"
He smiled and said, "Nothing."
I didn't even realise that the food I was continuously eating just now was my favourite choco-vanilla ice cream with spoonful bites and my whole mouth got ice cream over it.
I grabbed a tissue and tried to clean it but failed miserably.
He laughed at me a little and said, "Let me."
He took the tissue from my hand and cleaned my face.
His touch was very gentle, very soft, like he was touching something very fragile which might break if he held it a bit tighter.
Then I immediately got up from the chair and said to him, "Yuan, I need to go."
And I literally ran away from that restaurant without even listening to his reply.
I know if I stayed there just for one minute more then I'll never be able to go back to my original place.
I need to make myself understand that one drama project together won't make any difference.
There is a huge difference and distance between us which can't be fulfilled ever, not in this life.
I said these things to myself and reached the bus stand after running so fast. My breathing was uneven.
I was trying to make myself calm and I definitely will because tomorrow is going to be the last day of our shoot together.
Then everything will end here only and at last I will only be left as his fan girl and him being my ideal just like before.
But am I really ready to go back to my old life with the same pain of not getting him ever?
I asked this question to myself while putting my hand on my Mr heart.
Am I really?
But whatever it will be I need to face it.
And Zhao Shiza you are really stronger than you think.
My Yuan always says this.
If not on myself at least trust Yuan's words.
You will definitely be able to handle everything and tomorrow as well.
Then the bus arrived while I was completely lost in my own thoughts.
But before I stepped inside the bus he held my hand and stopped me from getting inside the bus and said, "Come with me."
He took me with him while holding my hand in his and then he put me inside the car.
He also sat on the driving seat.
Then he exhaled sharply and looked at me, really looked at me, and asked,
"What are you really up to, silly girl?"
But I didn't answer him anything because with so many thoughts going inside my mind together the one thought which had so much power to overcome every other thought in me was that tomorrow is our last day together on shoot.
And this one thought overpowered every other thought in me.
It kept going in my mind again and again.
Then he came closer to me and said...