I was on my way back home to catch the second episode of the drama, but suddenly my shoelaces opened, and I bent down to tie them. Just at that moment, I saw the poster of your drama on the convenience store wall, and I got lost in you. But I had forgotten that I was standing in the middle of the road, and the car behind me was honking continuously. I quickly said to the driver, "Sorry! Sorry! Please move forward." Then I said to myself, "Zhao Shiza, you are so helpless in love."
Then I kept walking and walking until I arrived home. "Māma (mother), Jiějie (elder sister), I'm home!" I said, but no one was there. When I went to my room, there was a message flashing on my phone. I immediately read it—it said: "Zhao Shiza, we are going to see your Aunt; she's feeling unwell. Please take care of the home. We'll be back tomorrow morning."
I took a sigh of relief and lay down on my bed. Then suddenly I remembered—it's time for the episode! Without even changing my uniform, I switched on the TV, and there he was—my precious one, my Xu Yuan.
You know what, watching you like this is a treat to my eyes. I know we are two universes apart and our paths will never collide in this life, but still, I'm glad that I am able to know you, to admire your beauty. And no doubt—you are more charming than me. This life is so cruel where you and I will never be able to meet each other, will never be able to see each other, will never be able to love each other.
I know loving you is not in my hands. I just love you, and I can't stop myself. Stopping it would be like taking away blood from my veins. I kept saying all these things to myself while watching your drama, but then suddenly my eyes went wide—I saw Xu Yuan romantically looking at his female lead, and then he kissed her.
I pulled the blanket over my face—not from shyness, but from jealousy. "How could you, Xu Yuan? How could you kiss that girl?" I felt so jealous. You are mine! But then I made myself understand—it's just a scene, he's just acting. And with that, I finally calmed down. I have never felt this jealous before.
The episode ended, and I immediately switched off the TV, still feeling the heat of that jealousy because of that romantic scene between you and her. "Stop it, Zhao Shiza," I said to myself, "he's just a normal actor. What's so special about him? You always have a crush on every new drama actor. Nothing special about him. Start avoiding him, Zhao Shiza. From now on, this is your only mission in life."
"I'm a normal person, and he's a celebrity. There's a huge difference between us in every aspect. We will never be able to love each other. And Mr. Heart, please be gentle on me; he's not the one—stop beating for him." I kept saying all this while placing my hand on my heart and closing my eyes.
But when I closed my eyes, I saw an image of someone holding my hand, standing very close to me. I could only see his hand, then his chin, nose, and eyes, and finally, his whole face appeared—it was him. I immediately opened my eyes. "What was that? A nightmare? No, not at all. I'm not a psycho fan of a celebrity—I just like him. But why did his face appear in front of my eyes when I closed them? Maybe it's just a coincidence."
After fighting the battle with my own thoughts and feelings, I changed my dress and went to my study table to finish my homework. I was stuck on one science question and thinking about how to answer it, but then suddenly my attention was taken away by the pleasant weather—it had started raining.
The sky looked light blue, like late evening, even though it wasn't. Cool breezes were flowing all around—it was so soothing. "Forget it, Zhao Shiza. Focus on your homework," I told myself. But then suddenly the light went out, and everything turned dark.
There must be some problem with the inverter, I thought. "What should I do now?" It was too dark. I felt a little scared—not much, just a bit. I tried to find the torch in the drawer, but I couldn't see anything. My heartbeat and breathing became uneven.
I took a deep breath and said softly, "Relax, Zhao Shiza," while closing my eyes and placing my right hand on my heart. Then suddenly everything felt normal again—my heartbeat, my breathing. Because when I closed my eyes, I saw him—Xu Yuan. His bright face, attractive eyes, mesmerizing smile, and charming personality made me forget my fear. Or maybe… I just felt safe around him, even though he wasn't really here.
Is he affecting me that much? Does he really have that kind of impact on me? My thoughts broke when the doorbell rang loudly. I went to open it—and there they were, Māma (mother), Bàba (father), and Zhao Xin (elder sister), my elder sister.
"Zhao Shiza, why are you taking so long to open the door? We were waiting for so long! Are you deaf? Couldn't you hear the doorbell?" they said. I smiled cutely and said, "Sorry," with my puppy eyes. They all melted instantly, and at that moment, the lights came back on.
Māma (mother) said, "Okay, okay. Zhao Shiza, have you eaten yet?"
I said, "No."
She replied, "Good! I made Xīhóngshì Jīdàn Miàn ( Tomato and Egg Noodles) before leaving. If you haven't eaten yet, we'll eat together."
Then we all went to the table and started eating. While we were eating, Zhao Xin turned on the TV—and no, not again! His drama was playing again! How foolish I am—I didn't even know today there were two episodes!
Watching it while eating was so difficult, because the moment Xu Yuan appeared on the screen, my heart skipped a beat. I started blushing for no reason. But how could I hide this from Zhao Xin? She immediately noticed and asked, "So, Zhao Shiza, got a new crush on someone?"
I gave her a pissed-off look and said, "You should quit art school and become a detective—you're made for it."
She smirked, "So you don't like the male lead?"
I replied quickly, "No! I like the supporting boy. I don't even know his name."
She smiled knowingly but didn't press further. We continued eating while watching my Xu Yuan perform an excellent martial arts scene. Wait… he's not fighting for me—he's doing it for his female lead in the drama. Not for me. Not for me. I whispered that to myself, trying to convince my foolish heart.