Dawn was breaking. Silence reigned, and the first traces of light on the eastern horizon carefully seeped into the pale blue sky. A new day slowly drifted in from the distance. The deep, dark night was like a black sheet, and the morning light painted colors onto it, bringing the day.
I crave the first ray of sunshine hitting my bed, so I never close the curtains before sleeping. This first light of the morning is what wakes me up.
As time passed, I slowly opened my eyes. The sunlight had already reached my blanket, casting a thin golden veil over the blue duvet. I opened my eyes and saw that golden hue. I reached out and cupped the first ray of morning sun, gently closing my palm to hold it. The warm sunlight was crushed in my grasp but quickly reformed.
I turned over, got up, folded the blanket, dressed, and opened the window to take a deep breath of fresh air before walking out of the bedroom.
A dog, filthy all over, suddenly appeared in my living room, currently asleep. I paused, momentarily confused about the new occupant, but the sight of the bowl on the floor quickly brought me back to reality. I walked over to it.
Sensing my movement, it opened its eyes, slightly raising its head, its tail gently wagging behind it. Its black, gem-like eyes looked up at me with gentleness.
I reached out and stroked its head. Even though it was very dirty, I couldn't bathe it yet because its injury hadn't healed.
I carefully lifted its right leg and examined it. The exposed raw red flesh was already beginning to scab over. It looked like my simple treatment yesterday had worked. It should be fully healed soon.
I stroked its head again, then looked at the food I had left for it. The water in the bowl was slightly reduced, and the chicken breast was gone.
I went into the bathroom to wash up. When I came out, I noticed its eyes were fixed on me, following me wherever I went.
"I'm going out to buy breakfast. Wait for me."
I spoke to it, pointing a finger at the door, then walked over, stroked its head again, and left.
At the breakfast shop downstairs, I bought some tofu pudding and steamed buns for myself, and a few steamed buns for the dog before heading back.
When I returned home, it looked at me, stood up, and wagged its tail. But remembering its leg wasn't fully healed, I gently pressed it back down. I put a few steamed buns in its bowl and refilled the water in the other bowl.
Its dark eyes watched me for a moment. Only when I sat down and started eating my bun did it lower its head and begin to eat, doing so quite elegantly. I found it hard to believe this was a stray dog that had been beaten just a week ago. Whose little princess is this, ending up in my care? I wondered if my simple food was too poor for it.
The money my mother left me wasn't a small amount, but it needed to cover this semester's expenses, so I had to budget carefully. The dog would just have to make do with what I ate, but that was still better than starving on the streets.
After eating, I saw the dog stand up, its head turning as if searching for something. I didn't know what it was looking for until it looked towards the bathroom.
I suddenly realized: Is this dog looking for a toilet? I hadn't seen it defecate since last night. My own guess stunned me. This dog's previous owner must have trained it very well. I bent down, picked it up, and, with an experimental thought, carried it into the bathroom.
As soon as I set it down, it eagerly walked inside. I arranged a spot for it, but it didn't immediately start. Instead, it turned its head and stared at me with its big black eyes. I was confused, unsure what it wanted. Did it want toilet paper?
I stood there for a while, and it just kept staring. I still didn't understand, but then I noticed a very human-like look of embarrassment in its eyes. I muttered, "Could it be shy?"
With that, I backed out and gently closed the door.
The moment I stepped out, I heard movement inside. It was true. This dog, which I suspected was female, was highly intuitive. After a moment, I went back in, cleaned up after it, and carried it back out to the rug.
"I'm going out to run an errand. You stay home. I'll be back at noon," I instructed it, my tone much like a parent speaking to a child before leaving the house.
It wagged its tail, still looking at me with those gentle eyes. I stroked its head, then finally got up and left.
I went downstairs and headed straight for my destination: the Brotherhood Gym.
The gym was very quiet in the morning, with only a few people inside, mostly middle-aged and elderly men and women who were enjoying life with their retirement pensions. The younger crowd was mostly there in the afternoon or evening after work. Another reason, of course, was that young people don't wake up that early.
The same familiar person was at the counter: long hair, wearing a plain white, long dress—it was Chen Shi. I greeted her, "Sister Chen."
She looked up, smiled, and said, "Oh, it's Xiao Nan. You're early. Wait a moment, and we'll leave."
We didn't wait long. Chen Ge walked out from the back. "Let's go. I'll drop you off at work now and give Xiao Nan a ride."
We left together. Chen Ge casually found someone to watch the storefront, acting like a true hands-off owner. I was surprised by his casual attitude, but he smiled and told me, "Everyone here is a brother; watching the place for each other is no big deal. It's perfectly normal to help each other out."
"Oh," I nodded. Honestly, I was secretly a little envious of how popular he was, unlike me, who was usually alone wherever I went.
We walked to the parking lot. Chen Ge pressed the car key, and a black Mercedes flashed its lights. The car looked quite mature and stable. Although I don't know much about cars, I could tell from the exterior and interior that it wasn't an entry-level model; it was at least a high-end model in its price range.
I got into the back seat. Chen Ge drove, and Chen Shi sat in the passenger seat. Her posture caused her long dress to ride up slightly, exposing a pair of white, smooth legs. I was wide-eyed when Chen Ge occasionally moved his hand from the steering wheel to stroke Chen Shi's thigh. I even noticed his hand moving towards her inner thigh, so I quickly averted my gaze to the window. See no evil, hear no evil, I reminded myself.
Chen Shi slapped Chen Ge's mischievous hand away and glared at him. She whispered, "What are you touching? Didn't you touch enough last night? Xiao Nan is here."
"Hehe, I can never get enough," Chen Ge chuckled but withdrew his hand.
Although they both lowered their voices, I could still hear them clearly, especially Chen Shi, whose naturally loud voice couldn't be fully suppressed. Their topic was a bit stimulating for me. As a young virgin, I had zero experience, even with all the things I'd seen online. Practical experience was nil.
I felt a wave of shame. Already awkward and out of place in the luxurious car—I usually ride a shared bike to school—my face felt hot. I stared fixedly out the window at the scenery flashing past, pretending I couldn't hear a thing.
After about ten minutes, we arrived. It was a large, open area with tall buildings, several office towers close together. Chen Ge drove the car up to the entrance. There was a security guard at the gate who seemed to recognize the car. Before anyone could roll down a window, the guard lifted the boom barrier.
The black Mercedes drove straight to the ground floor of an office building and stopped.
Chen Shi opened the door and got out. I followed her.
The place looked quite high-end. I felt a slight nervousness, as I rarely went anywhere; I mostly stayed cooped up at home.
Chen Shi was wearing a white dress that fell to her knees. The short sleeves covered most of her arms, leaving only her fair wrists exposed. The tiered pleated skirt didn't show too much of her alluring legs. Her clothing was quite modest and commanded respect. Perhaps it was to maintain a professional image for class. Her fair, oval face was bare of makeup, except for a shiny lip balm on her lips. At five-four, she was quite tall and stood gracefully. She wore a pair of delicate open-toed sandals, making her look exceptionally youthful.
Compared to Sister Chen Shi, my physique was bulky. My heavy frame contrasted sharply with her slender, youthful, and attractive figure. Standing next to her, the contrast was even more pronounced. I felt instantly awkward, standing still, my heart racing. I squeezed my right hand with my left, unconsciously shifting and turning my feet—a habit I had when I was embarrassed.
I was already regretting coming here. Although I felt I had grown a lot through my recent experiences, the underlying inferiority complex uncontrollably surfaced. This feeling came from many sources: feeling unloved, my appearance, and my cowardice. But I think my biggest source of inferiority was my inability to simply kill off that past version of myself.
Chen Ge dropped us off, waved, and drove away.
"Let's go, Xiao Nan. Your Brother Chen has to work," Chen Shi said to me.
"Oh," I nodded. She seemed to notice my awkwardness and smiled. "It's fine. Once we go inside, they're all high school students—your peers. You'll definitely have plenty of people to talk to."
"Plenty of people to talk to... really?" I gave a wry smile and mumbled softly.
Unexpectedly, she heard me.
"What do you mean, 'really'?" Seeing my miserable face, Chen Shi stopped, turned around, and stared seriously at me. Her eyes weren't pure black but black-brown, very beautiful.
"At your age, people rarely care about status or family background. External factors have very little influence, especially in high school. It's easy to make genuine friends, but the prerequisite is sincerity for sincerity and not viewing yourself as inferior when you interact with others. You certainly shouldn't look for favor or be overly humble."
Under Chen Shi's soft gaze, I felt completely seen. Her eyes seemed to pierce through my layers of flesh, directly hitting my core and soul. Like peeling an onion, she uncovered the deepest layers of my inferiority and cowardice.
"I..." I moved my lips but couldn't say anything.
"I majored in Psychology in college," Chen Shi smiled at me, a very approachable smile that made me relax slightly.
"I could, of course, say things like 'work hard' or 'keep going,' but I think those words are meaningless." Chen Shi paused, then looked at me earnestly. She seemed to like looking directly into people's eyes. They say the eyes are the windows to the soul, and it felt like she was genuinely looking into mine.
"Besides, it's obvious you're already trying hard, so I don't need to give you any advice. After all, I'm not a god; I can't be omniscient. I don't know what you're thinking or what you've been through, but I think everyone who is stubborn and refuses to admit defeat is doing great."
Chen Shi gave me a thumbs-up.
Her words genuinely touched me. She was right; long lectures and empty platitudes were useless. If she had just quoted famous sayings, I wouldn't have felt anything. I had heard too many lessons and scoldings before, especially from my mother, ever since I was little.
A person may need many lessons to learn a thing, but life's harsh reality only needs one. I understood this deeply: only the cruelest facts could shatter all my excuses and justifications.
"Oh dear... I can't believe I just said something so cheesy..." Chen Shi covered her face with both hands, slightly pulling her legs together in a shy pose. "That was so embarrassing..."
I felt a flock of crows cawing overhead, completely speechless. Chen Shi's voice was too loud, and her naturally outgoing personality didn't suit such a demure pose.
Seeing my dumbfounded expression, Chen Shi seemed to feel a bit awkward herself, so she changed the subject.
"There's a movie... what was it called? Oh right, Hidden Man (Xie Bu Ya Zheng). There's a line in it about writing a diary."
"The line is, 'Can something you can say be a true feeling?' I think that line is so interesting," Chen Shi paused, looked at me, and continued. "You know, a lot of psychological counseling, all the effort put into things like communication, discussion, and finding solutions—the ultimate goal is always to inspire the other person to find the courage to heal themselves. In the end, it's always up to yourself."
"Myself?"
I know that one. I once used the "great saying" of "the great Myself" in an essay to meet the word count... Why did I think of that?
Looking at Chen Shi, I was silent for a moment, then nodded. I rubbed my head awkwardly. I hadn't even entered the classroom, and she was already giving me a lecture.
"Oh, by the way, the fee for this session is one hundred yuan. Please settle the payment, thank you," Chen Shi said with a cheerful smile.
I was startled, but I quickly realized she was joking from her expression. I had to admit, her personality was great at easing the tension. She was neither overly affected nor too unrestrained, and she effectively broke the awkward atmosphere, which made me very comfortable.
"Let's go. I'll take you to see where I teach." With that, Chen Shi walked ahead on her long, fair legs.
I followed her up the stairs and into a large classroom.