I walked home. The truth is, there were a couple of other reasons I didn't stay for lunch. One, I didn't want to be a third wheel. Watching Chen Ge and Chen Shi's affectionate display made me feel sour, considering I didn't even know what falling in love felt like yet.
The other reason was that there was a dog waiting for me at home, and I didn't want it to go hungry.
I stopped at the market to buy some groceries before hurrying back home.
When I opened the door, the dog was there, lying on the floor. It stood up when it saw me, wagging its tail and looking much better; its dark eyes were brighter.
I walked over and checked its injury. It was healing nicely. I stroked its head and then headed into the kitchen.
With the clatter of pots and pans and the sizzle of oil, I eventually prepared the food. It was the same dish as last time—I couldn't help it, my phone was gone, and I didn't know how to make any new ones.
I put the food down for the dog lying on the floor and made a soft, clicking sound: "Coo-coo-coo..."
It turned its dark eyes to me, then lowered its head and began to eat with relatively refined manners. I found it hard to believe this was a stray dog that had been through a week of abuse. Whose little princess is this? I wondered if my simple food was too poor for it.
I thought I should give it a name so I could call it.
Its fur had already recovered some of its snowy whiteness, likely from the dog grooming itself at home, but there was still a lot of filth. I couldn't bathe it yet; I had to wait until the wound was completely healed.
Remembering the brilliant white fur when I first saw it, I decided on a name: "Snowy (Xiaoxue)."
"Snowy, Snowy," I called softly a couple of times.
It continued eating, ignoring me.
I reached out, stroked its head, and called out, "Snowy."
It finally raised its head to look at me and wagged its tail.
"It's fine, keep eating." I knew this wouldn't be a quick process. I needed to repeat the name constantly until it realized that sound was meant for her.
A New Pastime and a Decision
After Snowy and I finished eating, I opened my textbook and began reviewing the material I had learned in the morning.
After studying for a while, I got bored. I closed the book and rummaged around my room for a long time, trying to find something to pique my interest. Eventually, I dragged a heavy object out from under the bed.
"Complete Plant Encyclopedia?"
I paused. Did I really buy this thing?
It took a while to remember. It was a book my mother had bought. She thought the house was too plain and wanted to plant some flowers, so she bought this book. Back then, when I was doing homework in my room, she would supervise me and read this book on the side.
But later, her work got busy, and she didn't have time to tend to the few flowers she had planted, so she dropped the idea.
Now that I had found it, old memories flooded back. The small moments we shared seemed distant, like a yellowed photo frame, making me feel a wave of melancholy.
Looking at the dust-covered book, I patted it. A huge cloud of dust erupted. I coughed several times, the smoke even making my eyes water.
In the afternoon, I was engrossed in the Complete Plant Encyclopedia at my desk. Perhaps it was the absence of my phone, but I found it surprisingly interesting, and I even started thinking about trying to grow something myself.
"I'll do it right now!"
But then I froze. I didn't even have a phone. How could I buy seeds, let alone fertilizer and soil?
"Ugh! What should I do?"
I lay back on the sofa, feeling helpless. My mother had left me a decent amount of money, and now that I was cooking for myself, I had a good surplus. I could use the money to buy a good phone, but that would leave me tight on funds for the rest of the term, with no money left for anything else.
Plus, if I decided to go to Chen Shi's tutoring classes, that would also cost a significant amount. I couldn't do both the phone and the tutoring.
I agonized for a long time.
"Buy a phone or go to the tutoring class?"
A little angel in an office uniform holding a stick and a little devil biting a condom were wrestling in my mind. I was caught in a deep internal conflict.
"Buy the phone! It's so much more convenient. You can go online to learn so many things—cooking, studying, and gardening, too!"
"Don't be ridiculous! Go to the tutoring class. Are you sure you can trust yourself not to mess around if you have a phone?"
I lay on the sofa, wrestling with the decision for a long time. My eyes unconsciously scanned the room. Suddenly, I caught my reflection in the dark television screen: a fat person lying on the sofa, struggling like this. I found the sight oddly amusing.
In an instant, I realized the whole struggle was meaningless and quite silly. This wasn't a choice I actually needed to make.
It was just my reason constantly fighting against the laziness in my heart.
The choice is clear. I'll worry about buying a phone later.
Soon it was evening. After cooking and eating with Snowy, I rested a bit and then went to the gym.
The Path of Effort
After finishing my workout at the gym, I found Chen Shi, who was playing on her phone at the counter. I explained my intention, paid the fee for the tutoring class, chatted for a bit, and then left.
As I walked out, I looked back at the gym. It was still a hive of activity, not missing a beat because one person left, and similarly, it wouldn't change drastically just because one person joined. After coming here several times, I had slowly integrated, and now I felt a sense of belonging.
No one paid attention to anyone else. In the gym, aside from the occasional girl walking in—which would inevitably draw the eyes of the men to her curves, especially while working out—no one cared. It's just nature, and girls in the gym are indeed rare.
Contrary to my previous fears, no one cared how much I weighed, how standard my form was, or how much I could lift. Even if I was struggling, just showing up meant I had bravely taken the first step.
As I truly adapted, this place began to reveal a vibrancy I had never seen before. All my old insecurities started to fade, and confidence began to take root in my heart. Although I mostly worked out alone, I had met a few people, and we exchanged greetings. Though we were only nodding acquaintances, it was a huge improvement from before.
I slowly clenched my fist. From now on, whenever I get caught up in an internal struggle, I hope that reason will be the ultimate victor.
I got home and washed up. I stroked Snowy, who wagged her tail and stared at me with her dark eyes. Then I went to bed.
The next day, I woke up early and took the bus to Chen Shi's tutoring class. I felt too awkward to disrupt the couple's private time. I came home at noon, ate, and worked out in the afternoon.
After my mother and sister left, my life had become orderly again, but I was living so much better than in my previous decadent life.
When I returned home that evening, I saw that Snowy could stand on her own and was scrambling around, following me everywhere in the apartment.
Looking at her dirty fur, I decided it was time to clean her up.
I filled a large basin with hot water, turned on the tap, and tested the temperature with my hand.
"Snowy, Snowy."
Through my persistent effort over the last two days, she finally understood that sound was her name. I thought the speed was quite fast, which had to be due to her intelligence. I had never encountered such a smart dog.
She quickly came to me, wagging her tail and sticking out her tongue to lick my face.
"Woah, no licking!" I laughed, dodging her tongue. I then picked her up and tentatively lowered one of her legs into the water.
I was afraid she wouldn't like it, but as soon as I put one leg in, she seemed to realize what was happening and jumped right in with her whole body.
"Splash!"
Water flew everywhere, and Snowy happily splashed around, completely drenching me.
"Snowy!"
I gritted my teeth, reached out to hold her down, and grabbed the shower gel to start scrubbing her.
Fortunately, Snowy stopped resisting after that and let me rub her down. Honestly, this was my first time bathing a dog, and Snowy had a lot of fur. I struggled for a long time and was completely out of breath.
Meanwhile, the silly dog was lying still in the hot water, a look of pure enjoyment on her face.
I was speechless. I'm practically killing myself up here, and you can't even offer a little support!
But Snowy offered no help, only occasionally wagging her tail and splashing water onto my already wet body.
I worked my way up, cleaning until I reached her neck, where I found a collar.
I decided to take it off to clean the grime. After searching for a bit, I found a clasp-like switch. I pressed it gently, and the collar came off in my hand.
I was about to put the collar aside when I suddenly noticed a flash of light at the bottom of a circular loop on the collar.
"What the heck?"
I brought it closer to examine it. I found that beneath the dog tag was a circular piece, like a bell, but instead of a metal ball, it held a gem that flashed with a blue light under the bathroom's fluorescent lamp.
"What?" I was stunned.
I held it up and examined it closely. The gem looked incredibly enticing and crystal clear.
"It can't be a real gem, can it?" I muttered.
"But who would hang a gem this big on a dog? It must be fake," I was uncertain. The gem didn't look like cheap plastic; the more I looked at it, the more beautiful it seemed.
"Snowy, I'll hold onto this gem for you, okay?" I looked at Snowy with mischief in my eyes. Whether it was real or not, I was keeping it for now.
"Woof!" Snowy didn't understand what I was saying, but she seemed to sense my mischievous gaze. She flicked her tail, spraying more water onto me.
"That's it! I can't take this anymore!" I put the collar down and pounced, determined to have a final showdown with her.
It took another half hour before I finally wrapped Snowy in a towel. I had finally managed to clean her up, using a lot of hot water. Some of her fur had matted, and I had to use scissors to cut it off.
While Snowy was clean, I was completely soaked.
"Don't move!"
Looking at my drenched clothes, I glared at Snowy. This dog had gotten so mischievous after getting comfortable, completely abandoning the gentle, elegant demeanor she had before. Was it all an act?
Hearing my scolding, Snowy quieted down, and I picked up the hairdryer to dry her off.
I then went into the bathroom to take a shower. By the time I came out, it was late at night. Since I had school the next day, I made Snowy a new bed and quickly fell asleep.
In my dream, I saw Liu Xiaoyu, and the guy was talking about having a gift for me.