She exhaled deeply and looked at me ," You know ,when my daughter died, I was shattered completely.i was heartbroken and angry at myself for letting death snatch the only family I had left,the only source of happiness I had was gone forever. I was at a cross road and my sanity was hanging on the balance.The pain I felt was extrucinating,I had never left that much pain before.
This felt like a dream ,like something out of a movie,it felt so unreal. I couldn't believe we were...no,she was actually talking about her pain with me. She wasn't talking about some boring topic or stupid subjects or a scolding me for a misdeed this time. I felt a bit unease as I listened to her with rapt attention like I have never done before. Her voice, the tone was calm but conveyed all her emotions and I could feel them pricking me. I couldn't believe this was actually happening.
" For months,I wasn't able to overcome my grief. Friends tried to convince me,even begged me to bury her and move on but I was adamant,I just couldn't bring myself to commit the last family I had to the ground even though it was the right thing to do. That's why for fifteen years I refused to bury her,I rather balmed her body and had it locked in a room where only I have access to ", she said ending her tale. While she spoke,she was swimming in her tears and that made me more uncomfortable as I didn't know where to look. It was always awkward when adults cry.
At last,she wiped them off with the back of her hands and sighed. I sat speechless for seconds not knowing what to say. I finally opened my mouth and broke the seconds old silence," Ma, I can't understand fully how you must feel after losing someone so dear . But I think it's time to let her go and let go of the past and move on. She is gone and no matter how long you keep her body,she will never come back . You will only be trapping yourself and her too. You have to forgive yourself and believe it or not,she doesn't hold you responsible for her death and it hurts her to see you this way,so please ma,let her go ", I said. I didn't know where I was getting this inspiration from and I was surprised at myself as the words followed from my lips. She glanced at me for sometime probably shocked as I am at what I just said and looked away.
I didn't know what she was thinking at the moment so I just stared at her blankly for sometime before diverting my attention to the dirts under my nails. When I looked up again,she was looking out of the window and I looked at her with a puzzled look. After sometime,she finally said something," You may go now",she said weakly. I remained sitted unsure what to do next," Didn't you hear what I just said,go !",she repeated and I quickly took my leave.
As I walked back toy hostel,I walked passed the garden once more but the girls weren't there anymore and the sun's hot rays heated my head indicating it was midday already but I walked on.I heard a faint rustling of leaves but I didn't stop to know who was making the sound as i wanted to escape the harsh heat of the sun.