... Hmm?
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Looking at the young man with a stiff, somewhat helpless smile, Vil-V's perfectly composed face finally blanched.
Her voice, which had been full of joy and unable to be suppressed for a long time, finally lost some of its color.
"How..."
"Could there be..."
"—Jiang Cheng?"
She spoke in a choked voice... Her usual gentle tone, which always seemed to hesitate, as if weighing the other person's thoughts about her, suddenly vanished, revealing an underlying frantic note, filled with emotions the young man had almost never seen, a complete loss of composure.
—She had never imagined such a ridiculous thing could happen.
She had clearly prepared everything, and she was about to live with Jiang Cheng.
How could this... how could this be?
How could she have overlooked something in this place!
Why, of all things, did she leave a bad impression at the last moment?
Why didn't she tidy up the Room when she was tossing and turning sleeplessly last night, being so messy and still doing such disgusting things now?
Her heart was wailing, her long-held resolve, derived from an internal power, was wearing down and being destroyed, like the Tower of Babel, which had been built to almost reach the top of the world, only to fall apart due to internal reasons.
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What? .jpg
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Today is Sunday, I've prepared about five chapters to drop at midnight.
Though I still haven't found a py.
I do write rather poorly, my skill has always been average, even now, it can only barely be considered passable.
I just ask that when you speak, please don't use profanity or mockery.
There's nothing more to say.
That's how it is, I guess... 38. Is this the hat you prepared for me?
This can't actually be called a major problem.
If the gender changed, let alone a cohabiting partner, even a lover doing such a thing would be scolded and subjected to public criticism, but the one sitting on the bed was a beautiful and lovely girl.
Not a tank, not a fairy, but a truly beautiful girl, with plump legs, an older sister-like figure, and a cute face.
With such a perfect appearance, even if she were labeled a pervert, it would only excite some people more, and their favorable impression would constantly increase.
At most, it would leave one party with the impression of a pervert, a not-so-important stereotype.
It might even make the boy secretly pleased.
But the girl could never be described by common sense.
Her true self was a personality that could only barely be approached after all her later known personalities merged; those seemingly extreme personalities were just small branches, and her true self was a profound inferiority and distortion.
In terms of inner high sensitivity and empathy, she was an unspeakably 'genius' in misery, capable of reaching extremely high levels even without any other help.
—What she experienced today was too dreamlike.
It was so smooth, as if going with the flow, that she had even somewhat forgotten the immense psychological pressure this choice had placed upon her.
How many times had she heard the young man's disappointment in conversations when he was ignored by Aili Xiya?
How many times had she tossed and turned in bed until the early hours, unable to sleep?
To what extent had her inner emotions accumulated, such that her denial of Aili Xiya even surpassed her self-importance, leading her to take this step that, if it failed, would plunge her into an abyss, losing everything she currently had?
This was far crazier than any so-called gambler.
Because gamblers don't care about everything.
They only convert all their possessions into value, fanatically chasing impossible victories, deluding themselves into thinking they can win everything back.
Things that come too quickly are often not cherished.
But the girl was absolutely not like that; there was no arrogance, but rather the opposite: a greed, a greed that refused to let go of even a tiny bit, a single fraction.
For this little bit of 'trash' in the eyes of others, this 'everyday thing,' this 'scrap of bone' that even the hungriest wild dog wouldn't look at.
The girl had waited her whole life, only gaining this feeling, which others were born with, a few years ago due to a serendipitous encounter.
She had already accepted tragedy, and soon she would completely close herself off, making the person truly named Vil-V cease to exist in the world.
After that, everyone would only see her acting out fragmented personalities, and only in the most desperate moments would her sole true self be forced to awaken.
In the extreme darkness and cruelty of the abyss, to obtain a sliver of light was an already precious luxury.
All these emotions were too extreme, too fervent, too hysterical, so much so that there was not even the slightest possibility of turning back.
Let alone being denied, even encountering the slightest obstacle would likely lead to utter collapse.
After the smooth, dreamlike progression, going with the flow.
An obstacle finally arrived.
No matter how well-made or famous a bow, under continuous tension, its precious and tough bowstring will eventually snap, won't it?
The emotions, stretched to the limit, dreamlike to the extreme, finally collapsed due to this tiny incident... Looking at the girl, who was clearly flustered, gently biting her crimson lower lip, with a few glistening tears in her eyes, yet still forcing herself to maintain a normal, gentle demeanor, Jiang Cheng could no longer suppress his worry.
All the potential problems seemed to have passed.
It had been a perfect day.
He had no idea this situation would arise, that something like this would happen in a theoretically problem-free situation, after overcoming all difficulties.
—Collapse.
—Vil-V's emotions would suddenly break down.
This was not too uncommon.
Although the girl he first met was so perfect, like an encounter only found in light novels, and she had given him a belated birthday gift, and she was the only one at the party who paid attention to him when no one else did.
Under all these blessings, her first impression had even reached a level close to Aili Xiya's, like their first forest encounter in childhood.
This did not mean the young man blindly regarded Vil-V as being the same as Aili Xiya. He absolutely had to link the girl to anyone in his memories.
Too foolish.
Too arrogant.
Too ignorant.
In fact, after just a few subsequent conversations, he already knew that she was not someone with a flawless personality like that other girl.
Vil-V was like him.
Both were people who would grow into uninteresting adults.
Both were people who would be constrained by various emotions and trivialities of life, preventing beautiful feelings from lasting forever.
She was the opposite of Aili Xiya, who was absolutely flawless, would never 'grow up' in the conventional sense, and would never lose that beautiful quality belonging to a girl.
Growth is a cruel thing for most people in the world.
Growth is often accompanied by disaster and hardship.
True growth is realizing one's shortcomings, then striving to make amends, progressing towards one's true, perfect self, climbing towards an ideal.
This is indeed a beautiful thing.
And it is an inevitable outcome in that beauty.
No one would stop progressing in something they love.
The only problem is... too few.
Truly too few.
Most people in the world, however, are forced to endure suffering, are beaten down by it, lose their talent, lose their creativity, lose the childlike wonder and imagination they only possessed in childhood, becoming mass-produced tools, forced to mature and face the world during a stage when they should be enjoying life and cultivating interests.
Most people in the world fall into the latter category, a small portion merely hover within it, and only people like Aili Xiya can truly move towards growth.
He had never regarded Vil-V as a substitute for someone else, even the similarity in their figures would be too offensive.
The girl possessed a complete person, constructed from all her past experiences, her innate talents, and all her likes and dislikes.
No one should be regarded by others as a substitute or similar product of anyone else.
It was just that the young man had never imagined the girl's emotions would come so swiftly, overlooking a small detail in this situation that was already absolutely successful.
It wasn't entirely incomprehensible; even ordinary people would undoubtedly collapse if they discovered a remaining problem just before success.
What is truly unacceptable is failure just before victory, or falling after already succeeding... "This style is quite nice, is this the hat you designed to match my outfit?"
"I didn't realize your design skills were still so amazing."
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39. Why not become a pervert too?
Years of living together were enough for the young man to understand everything about the girl; being able to accept and agree, he naturally couldn't hesitate or regret.
With previous interactions, and the problems the girl occasionally revealed once they became familiar.
The young man believed he already had some solutions.
To soothe her emotions as much as possible.