It felt as though what was lost wasn't a concrete person or specific pain with a discernible cause and source, but rather something that had become a concept, an abstract feeling cultivated through a long companionship.
The boy's existence seemed as commonplace as the moon hanging in the night sky or the sun radiating light during the day. It was something indispensable, and even losing it for a single day or moment was unbearable... like Jiang Cheng.
The boy had never left her memory, not even for a day.
In the season of melting spring snow, also a time of blooming flowers, the boy would always join her in selecting the most beautiful blossom to keep... in the season of warm sunshine, the season of fluttering leaves, the season of silver-clad landscapes.
Until now.
It was an indescribable feeling, difficult to articulate even with complex words.
Sadness, oppression, suffering... combined into a sense of bewildered loss.
Image attached; viewable after updating.
Heaven-defying design. jpg
Image attached; viewable after updating.
Image attached; viewable after updating.
45. Great Aili, feel this regret.
Aili Xiya inadvertently wandered into the hall, the pink light casting upon her pale face. The perfect maiden was now disheartened, as destitute as a beggar.
The luxurious clothes she wore could not conceal the oppression of having lost something.
The place, once as magnificent as a celestial kingdom, was devoid of the clamor of a few hours prior due to the departure of all the guests. The maiden's blue eyes no longer held a trace of brilliance, and she unconsciously gazed at the highest point of the stage.
—The place where she had always been, used to host banquets and maintain order.
If she had pulled Jiang Cheng onto the stage during his first birthday banquet and declared to everyone that it was his birthday banquet...
Perhaps the ending wouldn't have been so tragic.
If she had been able to capture the sadness in Jiang Cheng's heart and help the boy in distress return to the sunshine...
He might not have left.
If... if... if... [No one in the world thinks they will lose the sun, until the very moment they truly lose it and realize just how important the sun really is.]
[—What qualifications do I have to interfere now?]
[Perhaps he has already left with Vil-V.]
[Perhaps Jiang Cheng is already living the ordinary and happy life he should have had.]
[Perhaps the boy...]
[—Isn't so well-suited to Vil-V?]
[...]
[That's right...]
[That's right!]
[That's right!]
[You haven't spent much time closely with Vil-V. Perhaps that girl isn't suitable for Jiang Cheng, and she merely helped the boy at the right time.]
[You made a decision, a decision that goes against your nature, but does not betray your heart.]
This was completely nonsensical, beyond even rambling thoughts, but purely saying the opposite of what she meant, even denying her own rationality.
What does 'merely helped at the right time' mean?
To accurately sense the boy's predicament and offer help is essentially proof of compatible personalities, especially since this isn't just individual help, but mutual assistance initiated by Jiang Cheng.
Helping each other in times of disaster, lending a hand when the other is in trouble.
This is almost a perfect relationship that exists only in fairy tales.
Denying such obvious things.
This shouldn't be something she would do.
A lovely girl shouldn't interfere in other people's relationships. What she should really do is offer her blessings to a beautiful and pure love.
Those eyes, which had also lost some of their brilliance, were somewhat listless and dim, but didn't seem surprised.
No one could face this sadness and oppression with composure.
"I didn't expect..."
"Did I create such a big mistake?"
The maiden's fingertips gently touched the abundant fruit, and even through the thick bulletproof layer, she could clearly feel the pain coming from her heart.
Complete empathy, able to perfectly experience all emotions and oppressions.
This feeling was genuine, without the slightest reservation.
No matter how foolish, how clumsy, how arrogant, it was impossible to constantly ignore her own feelings, impossible to constantly ignore everything she had experienced, everything she had seen, everything she had felt.
[Option one, you silently observe Jiang Cheng and Vil-V from a private perspective... try to erase your influence as much as possible, so as not to hurt the boy again, without including any emotion, simply watching everything about him.]
[Option two, you silently observe Jiang Cheng and Vil-V from a private perspective... wholeheartedly hoping that the boy's life will never encounter setbacks again, that his life should absolutely not suffer a second instance of neglect or sorrow.]
[Option three, you silently observe Jiang Cheng and Vil-V from a private perspective... waiting for them to show discord, giving you a reason to approach the boy again, with the possibility and opportunity to make up for your past mistakes.]
[Please choose—]
Identical options.
But for the first time, the choices carried the maiden's unveiled personal desires, the greed that had first burst forth from her beautiful heart.
Having tasted loss, she would never hope to lose again.
There was already an inevitable void in her heart, so... shouldn't it be filled?
—She didn't know.
Even Aili Xiya, who was watching all of this, didn't know.
Because the last fig leaf had been torn away.
Relying on the joy of reuniting with those who once held regrets and making up for the unfinished life in the town can offset the worries in my heart about Jiang City.
Relying on rewriting the disasters that are bound to come, hoping to use my own willpower to delete those hollow and cold zeros from the number of casualties.
I can ignore the expectation of wanting to walk alongside the boy.
I can turn the carefully prepared birthday banquet into an exchange meeting for everyone to enjoy.
However... what else is there?
What else is there now?
What other emotion can resist the pain of loss?
What other will, what other awakening can confront the almost morbid greed that has been suppressed in my heart for ten years, even giving rise to desires that should not belong to the beautiful?
I already... should not interfere with them anymore.
The boy has already embraced his brand new life as a hero, a hero who has not let anyone down, and has met true friends.
It's just that someone who has made all the wrong things and chosen all the wrong options greedily wants to hold onto the boy who should be heading for freedom and happiness.
The girl's slender, soft fingertips gently press on option one.
If I must choose, if I must interfere with the boy's life, then please... please don't disturb his possible happiness again.
[At this moment, you have made your choice. Whether the ending is good or bad, at least this time, you may no longer regret it.]
[It is not out of love or hope, but that flower of humanity, which should have been eternal and flawless, has been stained with the greed and selfishness of the dark side.]
[Even if the imprisoned bird has found happiness and is about to fly to the vast sky that belongs only to her, I am unwilling to let go.]
[Having done wrong, I will continue to make mistakes.]
[The daughter of God has fallen into the mortal world because she has experienced the loss of a person.]
[But even so, even though that suppressed, painful emotion has never ceased, having lost an existence as important as the sun, having lost the boy who has never disappeared from my memory, whose figure is left in every important moment.]
[You still retain the last line.]
[Unwilling to interfere with the boy's happy life because of my own desires, bringing new chains and cages to the boy who should have escaped from the sea of suffering.]
[It's enough to just watch.]
[Just to see Jiang City one more time.]
[Just to see his happy smile.]
There are pictures here, please check the updated version
There are pictures here, please check the updated version
There are pictures here, please check the updated version
There are pictures here, please check the updated version
46. Aili Xiya Become a bystander
[It's enough for you to just see these, you won't crave more, you won't demand more.]
[You put your hands together and pray in your heart, but unintentionally begin to whitewash your actions, becoming the person you once hated the most.]
[Finally, you pick up the camera, not using any high technology, but deciding to rely on this classic recording method to observe everything.]
[In the past, you could completely not care about the location, just follow your heart, wherever you go, that's where you're going, the direction you're pursuing.]
["Where to go? That's a good question. The answer, of course, is that even I don't know ~"]
["Because I always go wherever I go, that's where my destination is. In short, as long as I can keep moving, I will always encounter a place where I can rest my feet a little, which is enough for me ~"]
[I don't even care about the scenery along the way – at least verbally, I enjoy the trip with Jiang City, admire the scenery along the way, and communicate with passersby.]
[Now your goal is clear, your eyes are no longer as pure as they used to be, holding a pink and blue camera, secretly sneaking into the Spiral Workshop.]
[Relying on the familiarity with the boy that has never been separated from the moment you were born into this world, never really far away for even a day.]
[These distances are nothing to you, even if they are a thousand or ten thousand times farther, you can accurately find the boy.]
[I haven't accepted my identity, nor have I accepted my power, and I haven't even understood my own essence. I don't even know that the innate ability still has the possibility to rewrite everything.]
[On the surface, my physical fitness is beyond imagination, even if I call myself a little Superman, it fits perfectly.]
[At least at this moment, it's used for peeping...]
[Although it's a waste of talent, it's definitely suitable. There will never be a more secretive peeper in the world than you.]
[Although it seems that the essence is just to check whether the relationship and personality between the two are compatible, but at the moment when you set up the camera, your lens couldn't help but point towards the boy with a familiar smile.]
[The boy who has never been separated from you, and you have never imagined that one day you would be separated.]
[The boy who already belongs to someone else, along with that smile and gentleness.]
[You are secretly peeping, as if the boy has never left, as if this can cover up the wrong things you have done.]
[Until you see the girl lying on the bed doing work after the boy gently pushes open the Room door.]
["— Is that the hat you prepared for me?"]
What to face...