Munich, March 1940
Coming back here makes me feel so nostalgic, and I can't even imagine what Ruth must be feeling. To think that just a year ago, we were still living peacefully in our homes, acting like foolish 18-year-olds. I realize now that we should have enjoyed it to the fullest before all of this, before all this madness.
—I'm here, did you call me?—Uh, yes, I just wanted to make sure everything was alright… and to ask if you wanted to sleep here, next to me?—Are we going to stay here long? she asked.—If we feel safe and no one notices us, yes, we can stay here.—Heinrich, what are we going to do?—What do you mean?—Well, it's been two days since we started running away, and we still don't know where we're going. We can't just keep driving endlessly, looking for a place to sleep, can we?—Ruth, do you seriously think I want to do this? To keep running? We don't have a choice. We're forced to take the road, to leave one place after another, just to stay a bit safer. That's our life now, and we have to get used to it.—I can't live like this forever. I want my old life back.—That's not possible. Our lives have changed. We can never go back. That's the past now, and you'll have to accept it.—You think I don't know that? You think I'm not aware of everything that's happening? I just… I just want to go back. I don't even know why I followed you. Maybe I should've stayed there.—Are you serious? You would've rather stayed there? You do know what they were going to do to you, right? I saved you, you should be thanking me.—Thank you? For what? For giving me a few extra days before getting killed?—Are you kidding me? You really think I made you leave that place just to die somewhere else?—Yes. At least that's how it feels.—How dare you think that? If you really believed that, why did you follow me in the first place?—I don't know.—You know what? Do whatever you want. If you want to leave, then leave. I'm going to bed.
I couldn't believe what she'd just said. She really thought I meant her harm. That I didn't want things to go back to how they used to be. I know she's been through hell, but… I've suffered too.
My eyes stayed open all night. I watched the sun rise slowly, but I didn't have the strength to face it. Still, I decided to get up and buy some supplies so we could stay safe here. I knew there was a small grocery store nearby. I wrapped a scarf around my face to avoid being recognized.
—Good morning, said the cashier, looking exhausted.—Good morning.
It's a decent shop with plenty of things, so I can get everything we need. The good thing about staying at Ruth's house is that we already have all the basic necessities.
—That'll be five Reichsmarks.
I hand her the money and try to leave as quickly as possible before she starts asking questions.
—Excuse me, but you're not from around here, are you?
Damn it.
—Uh, yes I am, I just rarely go out.
I take a small step back, hoping she won't ask more.
—But tell me, why aren't you with the army? You look young enough to be serving.
She clearly wasn't going to let this go, so I had to come up with an excuse fast before she grew suspicious.
—It's because I'm sick. At least that's what they told me.—Oh? And what illness do you have?—They said I'm schizophrenic.—Oh… okay, she said, stepping back.—It's for the best that I'm not in the army anyway, since they're about to be attacked by aliens, and they don't even believe me.—Uh, I'll be going now, sir. Goodbye.—Goodbye, I said, smiling proudly at my lie.
That one afternoon at Ludwig's years ago really paid off — his brother's schizophrenic, so I knew exactly how to act to freak people out. At least now she wouldn't ask any more questions.
When I got back to the house, everything was quiet. I dropped the grocery bag on the table and went upstairs to find Ruth. Hearing water running, I relaxed and went back down to unpack.
A few minutes later:
—Good morning.
I turned my head and saw Ruth, wearing a black dress. She looked stunning, just like the first time I saw her.
—Good morning.—I wanted to apologize for last night.—I forgive you. I understand why you reacted that way, and I don't blame you.—I'm glad, because I wanted you to know that I didn't mean what I said. I was sad, nostalgic because of the house… And I also wanted to thank you. I know that without you, I wouldn't be here right now. So… thank you.—I'm glad I made the right choice. I'm glad I joined that section when I did.
We exchanged a small smile.
—What did you do this morning? I heard you leave.—I went shopping, just to avoid having to move around too much and attract attention.—Good. I was worried someone might get too curious and come here.—I get it. But we'll make sure to stay quiet.—Maybe we should start thinking about our next destination, and make sure we'll be safe there.—You're right. With the information I have about the army, maybe we can even find a country where we'll be safe, I added.
Now, the only thing that worries me is what Hitler's planning next. If Ruth finds out, it'll destroy her even more than she already is. And on top of that, we'll have to be more careful than ever.