Kanika's POV
-Flashback-
I was so overcome with the urge to make him feel the same hurt that I did whatever felt right to me in that moment.
"You feel good, right?" I was annoyed and frustrated because how can he feel good when I was feeling like this— all worthless and unseen.
"Right!" came his response.
"It's now my turn for peace." I declared.
"Huh?"
"I am blocking you." I was being too merciful by doing so by telling him, otherwise I was thinking 'Fuck this shit and just block him. Who cares about what he thinks or has to say?' But well, I was just a girl in love, of course, I cared about his feelings and thoughts towards me, even though I am angry with him.
"But…" he was typing after that, but I didn't care because I wanted to do this fast; otherwise, this energy inside me would die down, and I would forgive him just like this.
"I will be back in a few days when I have enough patience to deal with this."
"Alright. You will come back, right?" I wondered if it was really a thing he needed to worry about, even after knowing me so well.
"Right." That is all I could say, and I blocked him. If it were the usual me, then I would have told him how much I loved him and, at the end of the day, would have come to him, but at that moment, I really didn't feel like being with him.
To be honest, there wasn't any need to block him, but then he would have had a chance to write paragraphs for me, and knowing how I was, all my anger would have melted in just a few words of it, which I didn't want.
What I wanted was for him to feel the fear of his words not reaching me.
The first thing I did after blocking him was finding and messaging my old friends Mishri, Mayank, and Ibrahim. My very first friends I made when I joined Instagram and joined my very first group chat Thakur ki haveli these people were not just friends but a second home supporting comforting non judgy and always present when needed we were just 5-6 people still it was enough but then I had to cut off with them because I was a girl in love trying to prove that my guy is my top priority when he couldn't even restrict one girl. I never had any problem with any person I met who was connected to him, but that girl, she felt different in a negative way, but again, he told me it was nothing, and she was just a friend, and I am overthinking it, and I believed it because what else could I have done at that point?
I messaged them. I apologised for everything, told them what all happened, and they listened to me, forgave me, and accepted me again.
Not long after, the admin of the group where Anant added me made another group which included only people of Jaipur and 2-3 other really close ones because he planned a trip to meet us. He was from Maharashtra. And without any question, of course, Anant was also added in that group, and the moment I saw his seen in the group, immediately my phone rang, it was him.
"You blocked me." It was as if he were informing me about my deeds the moment I picked up the call.
"I told you before I did." I remained unbothered.
"No, you didn't," he countered.
"You are the perfect example of boys who never listen." I scoffed.
"Mai pagal hun jo paras bhejra hun?" he was getting triggered now; his voice kept rising.
(Am I an idiot to be sending paragraphs?)
"I had already told you before I did any of it, ok? And a little look at what I felt in your absence won't do anything bad." That's what I wanted from the start anyway.
"Kanika, you said you would come back." his voice went low and whimpered as if he would cry at any moment now.
'Don't fall for it, Kanu, don't.' I wanted to comfort him and assure him I would explain to him, but then the whole meaning of this will be lost.
"Of course I will, around our anniversary."
After a little bit of talking, I cut the call.
After a few days, the admin came to meet up with us, and going out in itself was a big adventure for me with my strict household. We had lots of fun and a few of the best memories of that time. It helped me clear my mind.
Later in the night, after everyone slept, I messaged him, and his reply was immediate as if he was waiting for my message. We talked, cleared out many things, and came to a conclusion to be honest with each other completely about our feelings and situations, and won't stop putting in the effort.
Everything was back to normal, or that's what I thought until I asked him to match our profile picture with me, which, even though it is a very small thing, became the biggest flip in our relationship.
-Flashback Ends-
-Back to Present-
'Kanika, remembering the past won't do any good. It's a closed chapter, going back on it won't change what already has happened, just focus on food.'
I stood up to go towards the stalls again, but stopped as soon as I heard a ripping sound and looked at my dupatta. It had gotten stuck in the broken little screw that was out from the chair, a bit not big enough to hit people, but big enough to ruin clothes if stuck. I carefully untangled my dupatta from there and checked if the damage was too much, or maybe I could somehow manage it for tonight.
"Argh, talk about luck first seeing your ex from years ago in a wedding, and now it hasn't been long since I brought this suit and only wore it for like 2-3 times now, and it's already like this."
"Did you like it very much?" A manly voice asked me from behind me.
"Yes," I answered without realising or thinking much of it. My attention was on fixing my dupatta so that I could hide the torn part of it.
But then I froze in my place. I remember that voice. My heart started beating loudly. It felt like my heart was running a marathon, something that I wanted to do right now, but my legs forgot how to work.
"Kanu," he called out my name in a lower and softer tone.
'Really, talk about luck today.'