Kanika's POV
"Kanika." Anant's voice snapped me back to reality.
'Why him? Why now?' I thought to myself.
"Are you stalking me?" I immediately covered my mouth, realizing I had spoken my thoughts out loud.
Anant stared at me for a second, then burst into laughter. "Nope. Not right now. But I wish I could."
"Was that supposed to sound reassuring? Because it certainly wasn't." I side-eyed him, being cautious of him.
"Damn, so cold. I am hurt." He sarcastically replied, his humour reminding me of our past.
'No. No. Kanu, now's not the time to get senti. Not in front of your enemy.' I side-eyed him again, showing my caution against him while he just stood there smiling like an idiot. 'Why is his smile so innocent?'
"Well tum side hatne ka kasht karogi yah should I do the honour for you?" He teased by acting it out with his hands how he would pick me up and put me down to the side. I sided myself and went to the table, blushing in embarrassment at the thought of him actually doing it.
(Well, will you do me the favour of moving aside, or should I do the honour for you?)
I sat in the chair and took a long sip of my drink to calm myself down, but ended up choking on it instead. Vanya stood up and hurried to my side to pat and rub my back and passed me tissues.
"Thank…cough… you," I tried to speak in between the cough as I held the tissues and looked up and froze again. It wasn't Vanya who passed me tissues, but Anant.
"Do you know each other?" Vanya asked as she looked at us.
"NO!" "Yes." We spoke together. My No almost came out as a scream as if I was screaming it to my own inner self, trying to deny every contact and relation I had with him in the past, but his Yes was calm and full of acknowledgement towards my presence. We looked each other right in the eyes. He was hopeful but scared and hurt. He wasn't expecting that half-screaming no as a response. 'I wonder how much he can read my eyes and what he might be thinking.'
"Kanu, let's talk," he requested.
"We have nothing to talk about." I resumed eating my honey chilli potatoes, trying to ignore his presence behind me.
"Kanika, please. Just once." He begged. I looked at Vanya, who was looking concerned.
"Anant, don't make a scene, can't you see I am with a friend?"
"Just once," his voice on the verge of breaking.
I looked at our surroundings, and people were now turning heads to take a look. We were standing out too much. I looked at Vanya searching for an answer to my silent question about what I should do, and she nodded in a silent agreement to have a chat with Anant.
"Let's go to another table." I guided myself to the table that was beside ours and sat face-to-face.
"So what was it that you wanted to talk about? And make it quick." I stared out of the window, showing no interest.
"Do you hate talking to me so much?" He lowered his head with a smile that didn't reach his eyes. I didn't respond and just took a sip from my drink.
"I just wanted to apologise for all the mistakes I ever made. I couldn't forgive myself after that. I could never be the same again. Even after all those years. Kanika, I am genuinely sorry there was never a day when I didn't think of you. I really wish we could start anew, but how can I expect that after all I have done, I don't even hope for you to forgive me anymore, but I really wanted to get this burden off my chest." I couldn't speak anything even though I had many things to say, but the words got stuck in my throat as the memories of us together rushed back to me, but I knew none of the past existed anymore; we both had changed with time.
A piece of me wanted to give him another chance, but the other still doubted him, cautious of getting hurt again.
"Anant, I…" I tried to speak something, anything, but before I could, Anant cut me off.
"It doesn't have to be now, Kanu. I want you to go home and actually think about it. This way I will be on your mind, maybe not exactly for a good reason, but still you will be thinking of me, and that's enough for me." He gave an awkward laugh, trying to laugh it off as a joke, but we both knew it wasn't a joke, but a way for him to tell me that it still mattered to him how I thought of him, how I viewed him.
"I know you won't admit it, Kanika, but I know even you somewhere deep down feel the same for me." I tried to deny it, but he didnt take that. "I know you, Kanika. I have always watched you. You can't lie to me, I know you like the back of my hand." I couldn't say anything else against that. He took my left hand and kissed the back of it.
"See you next time, think about what I said today. And sorry again for ruining your outing like this." He stood up and left just like that. His tone held a little confidence, like he was sure we would meet next time.
I sat there for a minute or two staring at the seat where Anant had sat, thinking about what just happened.
"Kanika, are you alright?" Vanaya came and kept a bag in front of me.
"Uh, yeah, I am alright, but what's this?" I pointed at the small bag that smelled like honey chilli potato.
"Your portion of food. And.." Vanya hesitated.
"What happened? Let's pay the bill and go home." I stood up searching for my purse.
"That's the thing, I went to pay the bill, but they said that our bill was already paid." She announced.
I let out a deep, tired sigh. This was the reason he was so sure of us meeting again. He knew I hated collecting favours and would do my best to pay him back. He knew exactly what he had to do for me to contact him back, even for a small thing like this, which was his choice but still without my say.
Later, we drove back home. Vanya dropped me off at my home and went back to her own place, even though I suggested staying, but she had different plans. I trudged to my bedroom and fell on the bed, thinking about the things that happened at the wedding garden and at the restaurant.
"Now I also have to worry about paying back. What does he think of himself? He thinks paying for our meal will make him a gentleman, huh?" But my phone reminder rang with better plans than wasting my time cursing him.
The text LET'S GO LIVE!!! Blinking on my screen, I totally forgot that today was Saturday and I had to go live. I jumped from bed and looked at the clock. It was 06:15 pm. I had 15 mins before I went live. I did my hair again and started setting up the camera and table.
'I am a webnovel author that goes by the pen name Kitsune, but only a few know that I go live twice a month to talk about my novel updates and new ideas, and sometimes just for fun.' I wore a cat mask and sat there and turned on the camera, and people started to join in.
"Hello guys, how are you all? Did you miss me?" I greeted them excitedly, and the greetings in the chat box flooded everyone, telling me they are fine and wished for me to be fine too. Some expressed how much they were looking forward to my live since the last live.
"I missed you all so much, too. I was so tired, and suddenly all my energy was back. The world is so cruel, but you are my angels." I did a fake sniffle, acting as if wiping away a tear in a dramatic way, and laughed.
"Who was it that was cruel to you? Let me teach them a lesson," I read out a comment from a viewer.
"Let us show you how your angels can be your warrior," came another comment.
"Aww, you guys don't have to worry so much," I reassured them.
But a comment came right after that, filling my heart with warmth just by reading it, "How can we not be worried about you? You are a person whose writings make us feel at home and comforted, and if we can't protect you, then what's the use of our love and how will we feel this feeling again, so of course we are worried for you." I read it out loud for other viewers and thanked the person, "Thank you so much, Kitsune's Admirer. I feel so touched right now to know that I have such precious supporters. I surely did some really great deeds to have found you guys." And the chatbox again flooded with the same wishes and cheers.
"This Kitsune's Admirer is so book coded and always has the perfect words to say," One of the girl viewers pointed out.
"Right, and imagine what if he actually knows you in real life, but you are the only one unaware, like someone close around you being your secret admirer sounds so romantic, right?" Another viewer suggested dreamily.
"Guys, guys, calm down. As much as we all love this idea to be real, unfortunately, that only happens in the book." I sighed dramatically while accepting the reality.
"But Kitsune isn't that the whole thing of being a writer, reality isn't in your hands, but the pen and paper are right there." The same viewer suggested giving me ideas for my other works.
"Guys, I think your delusions are going a little haywire," came the reply by Kitsune's Admirer.
"But I think it's actually a great idea," I agreed with the girls, already considering and planning the ideas inside my head.
"And a great way to appreciate your support since you have always been there from the start, always being the number one to show your support for me," I recalled all of it, how he is always the first to like my posts and first to read and leave comments on my chapters.
"Maybe the girls are right. I should use my power and dedicate my next work to Kitsune's Admirer. Please keep inspiring me like this. And girls look forward to it, thanks for such a nice idea." I clapped my hands together and gave a flying kiss with a wink to the camera for my viewers. And this time, the chatbox was filled with cheers and ideas for my next work.
After a little more chit-chat, I finally ended the live stream, slumped in my chair, and removed my mask. "So tired." I yawned, but my stomach also growled, "and hungry." 'Come to think of it, I couldn't eat at the restaurant because of Anant, and now it's already 8:35 pm.' I dragged myself to the bathroom, freshened up, changed into comfy pyjamas, and set my honey chili potatoes in the oven to reheat and eat.
After eating and working a little on my novel, I finally decided to sleep and lie down in bed, scrolling through Instagram a bit to check DMs and notifications on my views and promotions on reels and posts. Just then, a notification blinked — a message from Kitsune's Admirer. I tapped on it and was greeted by a long paragraph on how he was thankful for what I said about dedicating a book to him, even if it was just to humour the girls, and that he meant it when he talked about protecting me, and that my writings feel like home and comfort.
I typed back a reply showing that even I meant it when I talked about dedicating my book to him, though it will take a little time because I already have two ongoing novels and have been busy with office work more often.
'It's true that he has always been the number one supporter since the start, but his being someone who knows me in reality, the probability is really low, almost 0.' Soon, I kept my phone aside and drifted to sleep.
Author's POV
The room was very dimly lit in a yellow-orange hue. The room felt like someone's study. A man in his mid twenties sat in his chair with multiple screens open on the table — desktop that was replaying the live streams Kitsune did, a laptop which had a tab of Instagram open with an Instagram ID kitsunewrites with multiple novel-promoting reels and posts, and a phone open with their recent chats about the new book.
"Good night Kanika, sweet dreams, take care." The man mumbled to himself, the corners of his mouth twisted up in a half smile as he closed the recorded live stream on the desktop, which revealed Kanika's photo as its wallpaper, a photo where Kanika wasn't posing for the camera but genuinely laughing, showing that it was taken without her knowing.