---
The last customer left a trail of confusion, biscuit crumbs, and at least one faintly smoking umbrella as she stumbled out of the shop. Outside, the street was empty except for the glowing neon "HAPPY PAWS / DAO BEAST PAVILION" sign, flickering between pink bubble letters and gold calligraphy with a speed that suggested the system was stress-testing reality itself.
Inside, chaos simmered on a low, rolling boil.
The hamster union occupied the treat aisle, clutching picket signs: "No Overtime After Midnight" and "More Seeds, Less Danger!"
The phoenix chick pecked embers into the floor tiles, occasionally glaring at the "No Fire Hazard" sign taped above the cash register.
Bubbles, now unmistakably a Flood Dragon Guppy, was blowing lazy figure-eights in his bowl, sending up sparks that spelled out "SHOP EVENT: MIDNIGHT AUCTION" every few seconds.
I leaned on the counter, exhausted, as my phone pulsed with the latest system alert.
---
[SYSTEM EVENT: MIDNIGHT PET AUCTION]
Rules:
Any pet (except Hamster Union Leader) may be bid on.
Bidding open to mortals, cultivators, and one (1) rival shop agent.
Highest bidder gets the contract.
Prize: Reputation, mystery reward, chaos multiplier.
Risk: Losing shop reputation, forced pet transfer, potential hamster strike.
Bonus Objective: Prevent rival shop from stealing the Phoenix Chick.
Timer: 59:59
---
The bell dinged. A swirl of night wind and misplaced paperwork swept through the door.
The queue was already forming:
Piper (clutching her Moon Rabbit like a lifeline),
Charlie and his mum (Charlie had Bubbles' bowl under one arm and a "Good Luck!" sign in the other),
Two cultivators in matching robes (one wore a nametag: "Junior Disciple, Heavens-Watch Pet Academy"),
The inspector, back again with a new clipboard ("This time I'm getting hazard pay!"),
And a stranger in dark sunglasses, trench coat, and a badge that read "SENSIBLE PETS—SINCE 2002."
The system piped up with a private popup:
---
[SYSTEM WARNING: RIVAL SHOP AGENT IDENTIFIED]
Caution: Known for undercutting prices, poaching talent, and suspiciously bland treats.
---
I barely had time to brace myself before the hamster union leader scampered to the counter and banged a tiny paw on the register.
"Squeak!"
Translation (system overlay): "Union demands safe auction rules. No live-frying, no unpaid overtime, no selling union members as 'limited edition' bundles."
I raised both hands. "Don't worry, the system forbids selling the union leader. Besides, you're the only one who knows where the emergency mop is."
The hamster gave me a narrow-eyed stare, then slid a note across the counter: "Double seed allowance if I run security."
"Deal," I whispered.
The inspector tapped her pen. "I expect a full inventory before this circus begins."
Piper stepped forward, cheeks pink with excitement. "Can I bid on the phoenix chick?"
The chick let out a snort of smoke and hopped onto the scale, fluffing itself up. Piper's Moon Rabbit glared, judging.
Charlie's mum, deadpan as ever, asked, "Is this like eBay, or is my son about to contract a hydra?"
I fished out the Emergency Cleaning Talisman and set it by the register. "Hopefully just eBay with more feathers."
The system flashed the next event prompt.
---
[AUCTION BEGINS]
Order: Random
First Pet: Phoenix Chick
Current Bids: 0
Bonus: Winning bidder unlocks "Phoenix Upgrade" for shop.
---
The hamster union leader produced a tiny gavel and banged it three times. The auction was on.
---
First Round: The Phoenix Chick
I cleared my throat. "Opening bid for the Phoenix Chick. Do I hear one dollar? A spirit stone? A… coupon for free chips?"
Piper's hand shot up. "Ten dollars, a moon rabbit snack pack, and my favourite sticker sheet!"
The cultivator from Heavens-Watch raised a glowing spirit stone. "One spirit stone and an incense voucher."
The rival shop agent slid a manila envelope across the counter. "Fifty dollars. Cash. And I'll take the firebird off your hands, no paperwork needed."
The chick spun, flexed its wings, and spat a spark at the envelope, which burst into flames.
Charlie whispered to his mum, "Can I bid my guppy?"
She put a hand on his shoulder. "We're not trading dragons today."
The hamster union leader made a note: "No unlicensed fire transfers."
The system pinged:
[BID LEADER: Piper]
Phoenix Chick seems intrigued by moon rabbit snack pack.
---
The rival agent frowned, raising the cash. "I can double it—one hundred dollars, and a gift card to Sensible Pets."
I eyed the chick, who was now giving Piper puppy eyes.
"Do I hear better?" I said, glancing at the system timer.
Piper grinned. "And… I'll add a hand-drawn adoption certificate!"
The chick let out a joyful squawk, launched itself at Piper, and landed in her arms, tucking its head under her chin.
The system lit up with confetti:
---
[CONTRACT FORGED]
Pet: Phoenix Chick
Owner: Piper
Bond: Fiery
Reward: Shop Upgrade Unlocked ("Phoenix Perch")
---
The rival agent's smile soured. "This is why the council should ban mystical pets. No standards!"
The inspector replied, "You're just jealous you don't have a hamster union."
The hamster union began chanting. The system displayed:
---
[Phoenix Chick Contracted! Shop Reputation +30. Piper's Luck +10.]
---
Second Round: The Mystery Egg
Before I could catch my breath, the system wheeled out the next item—a Mystery Egg, still vibrating from yesterday's chaos.
Charlie's mum rolled her eyes. "You're not getting another pet, Charlie."
Charlie pouted, but the rival agent's eyes gleamed. "What does it do?"
The system flashed: "Unknown. May hatch at midnight. Caution: May be sentient."
A cultivator raised a spirit stone. "We bid one spirit stone and a vow of good fortune."
The hamster union leader pushed forward a seed packet. "Sunflower seeds. Rare."
The rival agent, desperate, held up a voucher. "Six months free pet insurance!"
The system, apparently loving drama, let the egg roll off the shelf and land at the feet of the hamster leader. It immediately hatched, revealing… a baby turtle with a top hat and monocle.
The shop went silent. The hamster union leader saluted. The turtle winked.
System popup:
[CONTRACT FORGED]
Pet: Gentleman Turtle
Owner: Hamster Union
Bond: Dapper
Reward: Shop Security +5, Snacks +10
---
Charlie's mum asked, "Is that turtle wearing a monocle?"
"Yes," I said, "and I'm terrified."
---
Final Round: Bubbles the Flood Dragon Guppy
"Final auction round: Bubbles, the Flood Dragon Guppy," I announced, a sinking feeling in my chest.
Charlie clutched the bowl, eyes pleading.
Before anyone could bid, the system flashed a "Not eligible—already bonded" warning. Bubbles spun a loop and zapped the sign with a happy fizz.
Charlie's mum beamed, visibly relieved.
The rival agent glared. "Fine, I'll just buy a hamster."
The hamster union hissed.
System popup:
[AUCTION COMPLETE!]
Rewards: Shop Upgrade ("Phoenix Perch"), Shop Security Boost, Council Inspector Temporary Approval
Penalty: Rival Shop Reputation +10 (sigh).
---
The timer hit zero. The bell dinged for a final time.
The rival agent, defeated, swept out with a huff, muttering about "import regulations." The cultivators congratulated Piper on her new pet. The inspector even bought a packet of treats, scrawling "Best chaos in town" on her evaluation form.
Piper hugged her phoenix chick, now roosted contentedly on her shoulder. The hamster union and turtle performed a conga line behind the counter.
Charlie smiled up at me. "Is it always like this?"
I grinned. "Only on auction nights."
---
Closing Time
As the customers trickled out, I glanced around the shop. The Phoenix Perch glowed, the hamster union was negotiating snack terms, and the turtle tipped its hat at me with grave dignity.
My phone buzzed with a final system alert:
---
[SYSTEM UPGRADE UNLOCKED: "LEGENDARY CUSTOMER INCOMING"]
Warning: Prepare for inspection.
Reward: ???
Cliffhanger: Doorbell rings—midnight strikes—who's next?
---
Thunder rumbled outside, and as the bell chimed again, the hamster union grabbed their signs, Piper's phoenix chick puffed up, and Bubbles spun a tiny tornado in his bowl.
I squared my shoulders, ready to face whatever the system had in store.
After all, at the Dao Pet Shop, every night is an auction, and chaos is always in stock.
---